Bf blocked me on my birthday today

[heidi696]

It’s a long story but basically it’s a long distance relationship and it’s been unclear if he was free to meet today as it’s my birthday. Last Tuesday I said oh it doesn’t look like we are meeting on Sunday but he got a bit angry and said something like don’t assume you don’t know yet. So even though I kinda knew we wouldn’t as I know he is busy I had a secret hope that he had a plan. I didn’t ask again and he didn’t say anything. So this morning when I got his text saying sorry I can’t be with you today and a digital card I was really really disappointed. I stupidly had nothing else planned. I admit I didn’t handle it well and lashed out a load of texts and we ended up having an argument and then he blocked me. I was so shocked and upset:I’ve been crying all day. I can’t believe he would do that. It’s 1030
now so I guess that’s it for the day. Honestly I don’t know if it’s forever or just to silence me for a while:
im just so sad. I can’t stop crying and torturing myself: if only I had said nothing etc i more he was busy so why did i add to his stress: I really hate myself

He sounds awful and manipulative- leaving you hanging making sure you spend your birthday alone rather than allowing you to make plans with other people I used to be with someone who was similar and always left me hanging, we only met up when he wanted sex etc. Honestly just get rid of him and you’ll soon feel so much better.

Jesus, OP, you need to love yourself a lot more than you're doing. Get some self-preservation skills! Stop letting him lead you around by the nose.

it sounds like there’s a lot to do in preparation for this wedding. That said, he absolutely should have let you know so you could make other plans, and sending you a digital gift card is the least effort possible.

Just dump him. He’s deliberately created drama on your birthday. Find someone who’ll treat you better.

You understood that he was not available and for a fair reason. His son's wedding preparation can't wait.
He should not have been angry but it sounds like you had a much bigger verbal tantrum than he.

You are not suited.

You are unreasonably needy.

Learn to speak plainly and to hear plainly. You heard that he was not avallable yet you held out hope for a secret birthday surprise.

You built yourself up ripe for a disappointment then you blamed him for blocking a stormy unhinged reaction while he was helping his son prepare for a very happy occasion.

Do yourself a favour and read WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.

You won’t regret it.

And obviously sack off your useless boyfriend…

Noooo. I've been here when I was very young with a man ten years older (family a long way away and life feeling very empty). At 50 I still feel the repercussions to my self esteem: people pick up on it, can't make decisions, very rejection-sensitive etc.

Please stop making excuses for him , trying to see 'his side' and rationalising his behaviour . His behaviour isn't kind and loving and someone kind and loving wouldn't ever do this.

You are worth more than this OP Have some self respect and Ditch the bastard

It's no surprise men always blame women for what they do, when women also blame themselves for what men do. This guy is responsible for his own choices and he is making shitty choices when it comes to you, from which we can infer he's bit of a shit. If he can't be kind to you on your birthday, it's because he's not a kind person. He gave you the gift of seeing him for who he really is, but if you keep blaming yourself, you won't be able to see him clearly.

Why isn’t he working?

Is he still married/in a LTR?

What would his reaction be if you said you couldn’t see him bc you are going out to celebrate your bday with a friend?

Was the digital card free?

Or his phone was just off?

Dear me OP I've just looked at your other threads.
You are worth so much more than this guy. Ending the relationship and working on your self esteem and mental.health would be so beneficial for you.

He wants you to just wait around for him amd be satisfied with whatever attention he can give you.
You sound a bit demanding and emotionally immature. You also sound needy and desperate. Why else would you put up with him treating you like this?
He's a dick.
You need to get some confidence and find someone else.
He won't change and neither will you if you stay with him.

This is a perfect opportunity to end things . Anyone that can treat you like that , especially on your birthday, is not good enough for you . You are worth more !

I said surely he could take an afternoon to see me on or around my birthday but he got very angry and said he would never ask me to choose between a child and him
OP

You are absolutely correct. Give yourself a birthday treat by throwing this one back.

Agree with this, but he shouldn't have kept her dangling. He should have been more honest that he wouldn't be able to make her bd so she could make other plans, or if he did intend to come but then got tied up with this wedding, then he could have kept her updated. He does sound like he's got a lot on,though, and OP sounds a bit needy!

You are blaming yourself for the wrong thing. It is not his fault that you didn’t nothing for your birthday. You were free to make plans with your own friends and family but you chose not to, despite knowing that you had none with him. I understand the secret hope that he might have a surprise planned, but also, you are not a child. Not everyone thinks birthdays are a big deal for adults. Presumably he was able to tell you that he was doing weddding preparation with his son before the day?

He did the right thing blocking you if you were sending a barrage of angry messages as he needed to focus on his son. He was not responsible for your choice to do nothing on your birthday.

I expect by telling you he was home he was letting you know that he now had time to read your messages or talk to you.

He sounds too old to be unable to communicate a clear, simple plan for a special day (even if that plan is “let’s celebrate another day”) and far far too old to be blocking his girlfriend like a teenager and then acting like nothing happened.

His communication is terrible.

OP, I think you are being taken for a ride. Helping prepare grounds for the wedding 10-12 hours a day - is it taking place at Buckingham Palace? How can you be sure he isn’t married? Or is he? He’s treated you badly on your birthday and you need to think more of yourself. LTB.

For fuck's sake OP get some self respect and end it.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of his behaviour, it sounds as though this long distance relationship is having quite a negative effect on your mental health. Give it some thought, but maybe it's not the right sort of relationship for you at the moment.

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with either of you. You sound overly needy and overinvested in this relationship and need more going on in your life and he sounds as though he doesn’t care much about you and puts himself and his family first

In the kindest way possible I doubt his son bullies him. I think your DP bullies you.
You're not happy and you’re looking for reasons for this that doesn’t involve your partner not being committed to the relationship or priorising you.
You also also sound quite needy.
Have a think about what would make you happy, and plan to achieve that. Don't give this man any more power. Make sure you stay busy yourself.

So he didn’t block you. It was just undelivered because his phone was off or he didn’t have signal.

Doesn’t he have a job?
he’s treating you abysmally, dump and run.And avoid another relationship until you raise your standards