Bf blocked me on my birthday today

[heidi696]

It’s a long story but basically it’s a long distance relationship and it’s been unclear if he was free to meet today as it’s my birthday. Last Tuesday I said oh it doesn’t look like we are meeting on Sunday but he got a bit angry and said something like don’t assume you don’t know yet. So even though I kinda knew we wouldn’t as I know he is busy I had a secret hope that he had a plan. I didn’t ask again and he didn’t say anything. So this morning when I got his text saying sorry I can’t be with you today and a digital card I was really really disappointed. I stupidly had nothing else planned. I admit I didn’t handle it well and lashed out a load of texts and we ended up having an argument and then he blocked me. I was so shocked and upset:I’ve been crying all day. I can’t believe he would do that. It’s 1030
now so I guess that’s it for the day. Honestly I don’t know if it’s forever or just to silence me for a while:
im just so sad. I can’t stop crying and torturing myself: if only I had said nothing etc i more he was busy so why did i add to his stress: I really hate myself

How long have you been with this guy? Why couldn’t he see you on your birthday? Does he often get angry?

OP he’s not kind or nice. He left you hanging about plans - that’s mean. If he genuinely couldn’t see you on your birthday and was a decent person, he would have said something like “I’m so sorry, I can’t be with you on the day - let’s get together on X day instead”.
It sounds like you got upset and angry at his shoddy treatment of you and he’s now blocked you.
It honestly sounds like you’re not that compatible. I’d suggest leave this one well alone.
I’m sorry you’ve had a sad birthday, but give yourself a present by not resuming a relationship with this man. Recognise that you deserve better and you can look back on your next birthday being in a happier, better state of mind.

What an a hole. Find yourself a decent man, they do exist.

He actually just texted me. “Hi I just got home”. I don’t even know what to say to that. It’s true I lashed out because I was upset. I was scared to make plans in case he had planned something. It’s been such a long hard day. And now that text.

I’ve been blaming myself all day thinking I was too demanding or too annoying . He had to do wedding preparations with his son who is getting married next weekend

He doesn’t sound a keeper if he couldn’t make the effort to see you on your birthday, making you wait on him, hoping he’ll do something. I hope at least you can buy something nice for yourself, stop hating yourself, this doesn’t do you any good, quite honestly I don’t think you should wait on him unblocking you, decide for yourself this year you don’t need him.

Just get rid of him. Life is too short for this shitty behaviour. It makes me feel exhausted just reading posts like this.

OP does he bring any joy to your life? Are his moods like this often? Does he blow hot and cold?
this texting now as if nothing has happened is to hook you back in.
You say he blocked you? Did he, or was he ignoring you on your birthday?
How long have you been together?
From what you wrote in your original post, it does seem as if this has run its course and you’d be better not in this relationship.

He said I was unreasonable that I was making him choose between his son and me. But I didn’t mean to I just wanted to know what was happening. I’m so surprised he lost text me saying “Hi I’m just home” like nothing happened?

Is this the boyfriend where you’re not invited to his son’s wedding?

He knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s a grown man with an adult child getting married and his behaviour is appalling and disrespectful. He’s teaching you a lesson to not dare open your mouth or question him. He’s gas lighting you into thinking this is all your fault, you’re too needy, too emotional etc. Then when he decides he can be bothered, he attempts to reel you back into his game with an airy “sorry busy day just home” text and if you question it or show you’re upset again it’s because you’re too much etc. It’s manipulative behaviour and exhausting. I’d ignore completely. No relationship should be hard work ❤️

When we are together in real life I love it - he is kind and caring and makes me feel so good. The problem is the “in between” visits: there’s a lot of misunderstandings over text and I feel
uncared for and he feels pressured

I’m petty, childish and I’m also angry on your behalf, so I’d be tempted to reply “And?”

If I had decided that was the end of the relationship I might reply “Who dis?” or “I don’t recognise this number, it’s not in my contacts”

As I said, I’m childish & petty. You might be a better person than I am.

@nomas yes same wedding same boyfriend

He did block me. I sent a message and it was 1 grey tick.

Sounds like he needs to be an ex boyfriend.

If he is old enough to have a grown up son he should stop playing silly, childish games with you.

@CluelessAboutBiologyim not at that stage yet. I’m scared of losing him. I shouldn’t be I suppose in that I’m unhappy a lot of the time. But I would like to be brave enough to do it!

hes sound unstable, getting angry, all this blocking/unblocking rubbish. Don’t put up with him, I’d put your phone away, destress, breathe and not message him again seriously.

If he treats you like this on your birthday, he is a fish to be thrown back. It isn't just that he didn't arrange anything with you, but that he gave you enough hope that he would to prevent you from arranging anything with anyone else.

I honestly think his son bullies him or there is a strange dynamic . He is working to help prepare his son’s parents in law garden/grounds for the wedding . It’s been every day for nearly 4 weeks. No days off. 10-12 hour days: he hardly has time to say hello to me. I said surely he could take an afternoon to see me on or around my birthday but he got very angry and said he would never ask me to choose between a child and him

Sounds like he only meets up with you when he wants sex. You will always come second to his children, if you can't handle that it's time to free yourself.

I see. He doesn’t sound nice in your threads.

I really think you could be so much happier without him.

He should be an ex.
The way he acted when you said you guess you won't see him would have led most people to believe he was planning a surprise for you. He has been very cruel to leave you hanging and then text on the day to say he won't be seeing you.

Honestly OP, you are hanging on to the fantasy version of him - he’s occasionally nice to you, but you’re not actually together in person that much and in between you’re confused about what’s happening.
He sounds like he never puts you first and never will - is that what you really want for the rest of your life?
He’s in his 50s? Are you a similar age? Kindly, I thought from your original post that you were both much younger and starting out. Don’t put up with this crap - he won’t change and you can do better. Please don’t wait around for occasional scraps of his affection.

I wouldn't dignify his message with a response. You need to end this and I think you know this.