Page 7 | Bf blocked me on my birthday today

heidi696 · 2026-06-14T21:34:29+00:00

It’s a long story but basically it’s a long distance relationship and it’s been unclear if he was free to meet today as it’s my birthday. Last Tuesday I said oh it doesn’t look like we are meeting on Sunday but he got a bit angry and said something like don’t assume you don’t know yet. So even though I kinda knew we wouldn’t as I know he is busy I had a secret hope that he had a plan. I didn’t ask again and he didn’t say anything. So this morning when I got his text saying sorry I can’t be with you today and a digital card I was really really disappointed. I stupidly had nothing else planned. I admit I didn’t handle it well and lashed out a load of texts and we ended up having an argument and then he blocked me. I was so shocked and upset:I’ve been crying all day. I can’t believe he would do that. It’s 1030 now so I guess that’s it for the day. Honestly I don’t know if it’s forever or just to silence me for a while: im just so sad. I can’t stop crying and torturing myself: if only I had said nothing etc i more he was busy so why did i add to his stress: I really hate myself

SwatTheTwit · Yesterday 10:10

heidi696 · 14/06/2026 22:54

When we are together in real life I love it - he is kind and caring and makes me feel so good. The problem is the “in between” visits: there’s a lot of misunderstandings over text and I feel
uncared for and he feels pressured

I would bet anything - anything - he has something else going on.

I’ve been in your shoes and that was always the explanation.

chocoluv · Yesterday 10:12

Swiftie1878 · Yesterday 08:52

You haven’t seen him for four weeks?!

I’m sorry to tell you, but you aren’t in a relationship with this man. You’re just a shag buddy.

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I think this is the issue.

OP prioritises him and sees this as a serious relationship.

Whereas he prioritises his family and sees this as just a bit of fun every now and then.

I think OP needs to find someone who is more compatible as they just want completely different things in life.

2Rebecca · Yesterday 10:14

Also "arranging the wedding" should be largely done by bride and groom with their parents helping if need be and a week before the wedding most stuff should be sorted unless he's hand making umpteen decorations. I think it is just a handy excuse, he's not the one getting married.

SwatTheTwit · Yesterday 10:34

heidi696 · 14/06/2026 23:02

I honestly think his son bullies him or there is a strange dynamic . He is working to help prepare his son’s parents in law garden/grounds for the wedding . It’s been every day for nearly 4 weeks. No days off. 10-12 hour days: he hardly has time to say hello to me. I said surely he could take an afternoon to see me on or around my birthday but he got very angry and said he would never ask me to choose between a child and him

It’s not his son, OP, it’s him. If he actually wanted to bother keeping in touch, he would. A message takes seconds.

Let him go, nothing good will come of this. Like I said I’ve been there and it was horrendous.

Netcurtainnelly · Yesterday 11:00

When someone sends you a digital card and not a proper card or a gift you know that they are not really into you.

C152 · Yesterday 11:13

He's not the one for you, OP. You shouldn't be afraid of losing him; he's not someone you should want to keep. He kept you dangling on your birthday, behaved badly and then messaged you as if nothing has happened. It's how he'll treat you throughout your entire relationship. Expect more from a partner. You certainly deserve more.

Catpuss66 · Yesterday 11:23

Have you taken the freedom programme not sure if relevant but might be worth giving it a look. You need to spot abuse & this is abusive & cruel. You only have his word he was doing something for the son. Take the first step & start caring for yourself, until you do you will always put up with abusive behaviour & rubbish partners.

he is treating you badly because you are letting him.

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/online.php

TidyOchreDeer · Yesterday 11:31

heidi696 · 14/06/2026 23:02

I honestly think his son bullies him or there is a strange dynamic . He is working to help prepare his son’s parents in law garden/grounds for the wedding . It’s been every day for nearly 4 weeks. No days off. 10-12 hour days: he hardly has time to say hello to me. I said surely he could take an afternoon to see me on or around my birthday but he got very angry and said he would never ask me to choose between a child and him

'He is working to help prepare his son’s parents in law garden/grounds for the wedding . It’s been every day for nearly 4 weeks. No days off. 10-12 hour days: he hardly has time to say hello to me.'

Crikey, where do they live OP? Buckingham Palace? Sorry, but this is very clearly a big fat lie in my eyes. He is making up excuses and you sound anxiously attached. Throw this one back in the sea and spend a bit of time on your own.

waterrat · Yesterday 12:57

He is treating you like shit op

It's normal behaviour to let a partner know in advance if you cant see them on their birthday

He has got you dancing around blaming yourself and crying your eyes out on your own birthday

Please throw this one back

CharlieEffie · Yesterday 13:34

Sorry OP but hes lying to you 1) 12 hour days for weeks getting "grounds" ready for a wedding? Is the wedding at Buckingham Palace? 2) asking to see him for ONE day in general but especially for your birthday is not making him choose between you and his child- he needs to grow up.
He could have told you straight when you mentioned it that he couldn't make it so that you could have made plans. Leaving it until your actual birthday is asshole behaviour

Original poster

heidi696 · Yesterday 14:20

Just to explain about the wedding prep he told me that he doesn’t have money to help his son with wedding expenses so instead he is working to prepare the place. It is big. It’s an old farm. They are renovating a large barn for the reception. He’s a builder so he can do the electrics and there’s a concrete floor as well as barn doors to make . He sends me pictures/ I think he’s telling the truth: but it does seem very extreme: plus are they just using him. His son’s wife’s parents are getting all this work done for free but he says they are paying for catering so it works out .

OP posts:

Original poster

heidi696 · Yesterday 14:21

@CharlieEffie

OP posts:

PetulaGordeno · Yesterday 14:37

So he’s sharing all this with you and then you aren’t even invited? He’s not your partner.

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · Yesterday 14:41

@heidi696 how many times do we have to tell you on each if your threads, this is NOT a relationship. This is him popping over when it suits him for sex and throwing your crumbs for the weeks in between to keep you dangling on his chain. You can come back here repeatedly moaning about the latest incident but we're only going to keep giving you the same advice: finish this nonsense now and kick him to the kerb.

It'll be interesting to see how much longer you put up with this. I give it another few weeks and you'll be back with the latest installment of "my boyfriend - whom I sometimes call my partner - is treating me badly"

LapisBlue · Yesterday 14:59

Are you invited to the wedding, OP?

Original poster

heidi696 · Yesterday 15:16

@LapisBlueno not invited due to his ex wife who would not be happy

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Original poster

heidi696 · Yesterday 15:17

Yes I know I need to get a grip. I really fancy him that’s the main thing. But mostly the rest is pretty shit

OP posts:

AMurderofMurderingCrows · Yesterday 15:24

He could have taken time to see you on your birthday but he didn't want to.

He could have also sent you an actual birthday card like a normal person but couldn't be bothered.

He's giving you the bare minimum.

Boreded · Yesterday 15:27

He blocked you like he was a toddler…that’s not ok

NormasArse · Yesterday 15:43

heidi696 · Yesterday 14:20

Just to explain about the wedding prep he told me that he doesn’t have money to help his son with wedding expenses so instead he is working to prepare the place. It is big. It’s an old farm. They are renovating a large barn for the reception. He’s a builder so he can do the electrics and there’s a concrete floor as well as barn doors to make . He sends me pictures/ I think he’s telling the truth: but it does seem very extreme: plus are they just using him. His son’s wife’s parents are getting all this work done for free but he says they are paying for catering so it works out .

Sounds fair enough to me, if he’s happy to contribute in that way.

Letting you down at the last minute after hinting that there was a surprise for you is not good though.

You need to separate what he does for his family and what he does for you- the two are not connected. He could’ve made time if he’d wanted to… but he didn’t.

Brunchatstephanies · Yesterday 15:46

Not a keeper @heidi696 he could have done something nice yesterday for your birthday. He could have planned something next weekend and told you the plan as a surprise this morning. He is not putting in any effort and he is very manipulative. Get rid.

Ladybyrd · Yesterday 17:30

OP, really fancying him is not the main thing here.

Pansykavalier · Yesterday 17:58

heidi696 · Yesterday 15:17

Yes I know I need to get a grip. I really fancy him that’s the main thing. But mostly the rest is pretty shit

Look, if you were stronger, less anxious, more in charge of your life, the FWB setup that he is offering you might work.

The problem is that you are not (yet) this woman. Not only does it not work for you, it actively damages you further. Every time he treats you like shit your self esteem takes another knock and you feel more awful every time it happens.

You yourself recognise that you ‘need to get a grip’. However, right now you simply don’t have the tools to do so - so you need to start real, focused work towards equipping yourself to live with pride in yourself and become the woman who does not accept shit, not ever.

How? Therapy would be good. Read ‘Women Who Love Too Much’ by Dr Robin Norwood, as well as The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. And block your boyfriend. Instead of running after him, find some strong female friends. Forget about dating for a good while.

LapisBlue · Yesterday 19:24

heidi696 · Yesterday 15:16

@LapisBlueno not invited due to his ex wife who would not be happy

Heidi, are you sure he's not still married? I understand the awkwardness etc, but I wonder if you and he are common knowledge a couple.

You're at the back of the line here, surely. Not good enough. You're nobody's second best.

somanychristmaslights · Yesterday 19:41

Sounds like a fuck buddy rather than a relationship. To not even send you a card on your birthday is pretty shitty. You don’t have a proper relationship.