All 4 of us to attend bday party?

[wanderingwillows]

DD2 has just been invited to a nursery friend’s bday party next weekend. Not sure on the etiquette here - both my husband and I would like to take her (because it would be a nice family thing to do on a weekend and also to potentially make some new parent friends). We also have a newborn baby who would be with us.

My question is, would it be unreasonable for all 4 of us to rock up? Is that weird? It is at someone’s house. We don’t know them, never spoken, just have a number to RSVP to and invite came via nursery bag.

If you are set on going then you need to check with the host on how they are fixed for space and maybe ask if it would be ok if you stayed, do not just presume that you can. They may appreciate an extra pair of hands, who knows. As others have said though, its not a family day out.

Wow “a nice family thing to do”. NO NO NO. This is not your family time, it’s another families birthday party. Not something for you to gate crash and use as a networking/friend meeting experience.
how would you feel if you held a party for your dd and everyone turned up with mum, dad and siblings. You need to start understanding etiquette, and fast, or your dd won’t be invited anywhere ever!

This party is not a networking event for OP. It's very self centred to approach it as a service for her family 😁
I've been to dozens and dozens over the years, some nursery and infants parties do invite family members to stay but these are generally in a hall or venue and the host invites parents to stay for chat and drinks.

Urgh no. This used to really wind me up no matter what the setting. If the invite is for your child it’s for your child only! (And 1 parent if they are young and need an adult to stay).
I had a few bday parties at soft play/ trampoline places before which obviously any child can go to but it’s more then that you feel like you have to provide cake/food and a party bag etc for the sibling who has been brought along because they stand there watching and wanting to join in, even though you don’t have to include them you feel awful for ‘leaving a child out’ x

I always find it really odd when two parents turn up. Unless you’ve been out and gone straight to party. Or if you’re going straight out afterwards. Happens a lot at my youngest though. The parents do seem to treat it as a day out?!

It really isn't. If it takes a village then taking the opportunity to build that village is a nice way to approach it

In my circle this would be absolutely fine, but best ask. Or one of you take baby for a walk

It’s not a family event fgs

Surely one of you can come up with something better to do as a family.

One of you take her and stay.
The other take the baby.

The next party invite, the other parent gets to do it.

It doesn't take both parents being present to build connections.

A fun day out?

You must lead a very boring life if you think a child’s birthday party is a fun day out.

But it still isn't unreasonable to want to build connections as whole families together. It would be prudent to check with the hosts I agree but it's not in any way a stupid or socially unaware thing to think might be nice.

Very selfish and self-centric to view a little child (who you don’t all know)’s birthday party as an opportunity for you to gatecrash as a family in order to have free “family time”. Weird this would even cross someone’s mind.

You must only have boring children’s parties in your circle.

God no, i would be fuming if i held a birthday party in my home and 2 extra people turned up. It’s a house not a hall.

Oh honey, no.

there are a million other things you and your husband and kids could do if you want a nice family day out

Not to someone’s house - but as not everyone will do it, no harm done.

Get your DH to take her if you don’t want to leave your newborn. Look at it this way as a nice thing for your DD to do with her daddy.

I have seen both parents going to parties which I find odd as why would you? But in someone's house definitely not. One of you go and one stay home with baby.

My kids are older now and whilst I'd say it's not the done thing once kids are school age (and that's often a drop and run) and definitely not if it's a pay per entry party (though a babe in arms sibling wouldn't get charged), in my experience it isn't hugely unusual for both parents to come to nursery parties, even home based ones. Most come with just one parent but some with two and possibly a younger sibling.

I remember having a home party when my daughter was 3 and invited some "nursery friends" she wanted. I was a bit nervous about it as I didn't know any of the parents from Adam! I think some felt the same as two kids came with both parents and one with a sibling, I think it's natural to be nervous that you won't know the other parents and have anyone to talk to. It was actually fine and everyone got on well. It would have been a squeeze if all kids had brought two parents but an extra few was ok. If in doubt, text the host and see if the space allows and say that you won't be offended if it's a no. You might find they say the more the merrier.

Bringing older siblings is a no-no unless it's completely unavoidable. I know a couple of families who did that habitually and they were judged and their invitations decreased, which is a shame for the kids. (I know that's not what you asked but thought I'd mention as you are new to the party circuit.)

DH and I see kids parties as a chance to divide and conquer and one of us has free time (or one on one time with the other DC, we have an only child)

I find it odd when both parents attend kids parties

We have lots of quality family time. Other kids parties are not quality family time IMO

....would be a nice family thing to do on a weekend.

No it wouldn't. It's a horrible thing to do to the host. You're more likely to lose friends than to gain them if you all turn up.

No someone's party is not a family outing

I can’t imagine thinking that going to a stranger’s house for the party of an unknown kid is a nice thing to do as a family. It’s a nursery party your kid has been invited to. One of you take her. The party is for the kids and the parents will just be there in a supervisory capacity cos the kids are too young to be left.

Really? Because every party I've ever taken DC to the parents have chatted and built up social relationships like normal human beings.

One parent to nursery-aged party is fine. Your DH can stay at home w the baby. Or bring the baby if they’re b/f - but not another adult.