AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

[Dhflightsulk]

We recently returned from an abroad holiday, we left the online check in too late which meant we had 3 seats next to each other, and then a seat further down the plane about 15 rows in front, as opposed to next to the 3 on the opposing row (as we did on the way out).

I took the single seat and DH was with DS2 and DD5 in the three.

The flight was only short haul so about 2.5 hours. DH was (and to an extent still is) unhappy that I didn’t check in with him during the flight, which he described as hard work with our kids being young.

I said he’s perfectly capable of parenting and didn’t need me checking up on him. He maintains I should have checked in.

AIBU?

Is this a reverse…?

Surely with those ages the fair thing would have been to swap halfway through, or at least check if he wanted to?
I cant imagine just sitting there not even checking in for 2 and a half hours, I wouldnt be happy if DH did that.

It was 2.5 hours not days why could he not cope? If it was urgent why did he not come to you?

No?

I would have split it with my dh, giving both parent a little bit of time to relax.

It wasn’t urgent and he said even if it was he couldn’t have left the kids unattended to ‘find me’

I probably would have done. That said, it might have been more disruptive for the other passengers if you were up and down a lot and talking over them.

though what was he supposed to do if one of them needed the toilet or to stretch their legs, take both? He couldn’t exactly leave one alone in their seat.

Very unreasonable.

They were only two rows from the back so he took both to the toilet.

Firstly well done from all women everywhere for making him step up and parent.

But with kids that age I’d have swapped half way.

Well whoever is sat with the kids has it worst. So just as a caring partner thing I think it's appreciated at least to check in on them, and maybe offer a swap halfway as well as a bit of a chat.
The exception here would be if the flight is very late/early in the morning and the person sitting alone is the driver who needs a sleep/rest ahead of driving home from the airport. But that would have been agreed ahead.

Of course you should have checked in with him and swapped half way.

If I were you I'd have checked and offered to swap, but DH, in your position, wouldn't have, and I wouldn't have expected him to. Although I would have sat myself with the kids by default anyway.

We're a long way from parenting being equal!

I’m in two minds on this as we flew back from Japan two days ago, I was left with the kids while DH slept two rows away and ignored me shouting for him when DC1 started projectile vomiting 6 hours into the flight. Still pissed off. I feel like the parent sitting separately should check on their family occasionally because unless you check you just don’t know what the other parent is dealing with, but I know my recent experience is colouring my opinion somewhat. On the plus side thanks to the blokes on the row behind us for helping me out.

A flight, however short, is always quite an ordeal for one parent with two small children. Granted, the worst is actually in the the airport, but what if one had needed the toilet? The least you could have done is just wander down the aisle to see them.

Obviously you should have checked in on him, it’s not about him being capable of parenting alone, it’s about checking on your partner and kids when you are sat right there doing nothing! What exactly was your justification for pretending they weren’t there for the flight? Weird behaviour on your part

I suspect most parents would have checked in with each other and possibly swapped.

I think you’re unreasonable to be so poorly organised that you wouldn’t book appropriate seats with kids that young. To be honest.

He IGNORED you? Why didn’t you force him to help?

Or were you too busy filling in divorce application?

She did. There was a parent sat with the kids. Pipe down.

Yes YABU. It’s already a long day and your youngest is 2. I would have checked on a friend in this position let alone 3 people I really love. It would have been kind to check your husband didn’t need 5 minutes to go to the loo etc.
My husband would have definitely done this for me. Treat your loved ones the way you want to be loved and respected.

Could you actually relax whilst knowing he would be trying to entertain the kids? Was you trying to passively aggressively teach him a lesson or something? I still think this is a reverse

Is this a joke? My DH and I would have swapped halfway through the flight. I would be fuming if my DH took an “out of sight, out of mind approach”.

Flights with young dc are hard. Really hard. Surely you know this @Dhflightsulk

Two and a half hours is nothing. You’re already almost an hour in from takeoff to when the seatbelt sign goes off and the trolley comes through. I’d not to have thought to do that with my husband. And he me I suspect.

He has legs though? If he needed you he could have walked down with the kids. Or asked a flight attendant to get you? I’m confused. Did he have issues during the flight?

I ordered a drink from the on board service and finished the book I barely got the chance to read whilst away. He’s a grown man, of course he was fine.