Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

[Pinkie89]

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

Until this point absolutely we did!

honestly, I suspect half the people who are on this thread are not mothers.

I fully understand your concerns OP, I wouldn't like it either. Kids can get attached to people very quickly, and as you said, they can also get attached to peoples pets. It's certainly not fair on your little boy for women to be introduced, get close....then gone after he has formed an attachment.

You cant do anything about your ex taking your child to see his other woman/women, but I would gently be asking your son what he has done in the times he is with your ex. If you suspect he is being left alone, or that he isn't being cared for properly....then that is certainly your business.
If he is, I would try to come to terms with the fact your ex has moved on, and hopefully the new woman is caring towards your son, and more of a permanent fixture in his life.

You are correct OP to think like this, I asked my sons dad to wait atleast 6 months of being with his new GF before he introduced her to him.

That’s a ridiculous thing to say. I’m most definitely a mother.

Well then, you would be in the half that is. 🙄

Because he told me how long it had been. He didn’t tell me it’s a gf, I don’t really know the situation.

My son told me he’d met this girl 2 weeks ago. I asked my ex about it casually when he dropped him off and he said it was just a friend. Fine, no problem. 2/3 days later he posted her on Instagram stories, and it was evident she’s not just a friend from whatever he said on that post.

The other day my son mentioned her again, and said he went to her house last weekend. So, last night I told my ex it seems this girl is more than just a friend and I told him I would’ve liked to have been told if he was introducing our son to a new partner. He said she’s just a friend, then it was a friend he’s taking things slow with, the latest is it’s someone he’s confident he has a future with. At which point I asked how long he’d known her and he told me a few other things like about her going to his last weekend.

What if he had refused? What if he asked you to wait at least 4 years being with a new BF before introducing him to your son?

Sitting back and watching the double standards unfold. A woman on here got absolutely flamed yesterday for living with a guy she had been with for three years and was getting married to, because her daughter didn’t like him. Yet here a woman is being told it’s none of her business that her ex has introduced a partner of five minutes to their son.
Yanbu.

I suspect a lot of them are part of the second wife/step mum brigade. They see a mother trying to protect the best interests of her son, and view it as a woman trying to exert control over a man because she’s jealous 🥴

There are some very odd ways of looking at the world on Mumsnet.

Blimey.
How many have there been?!

Unfortunately, You cannot do anything about this and what happens in your ex's house isn't something you have any control over.

She’s pissed off that her ex is a shitbag. It’s normal to be angry when someone is acting in a way which is counter to the best interests of your child.

I think she’s well aware that she can’t control it. All she can do is speak to him about it, which she has already done.

Nowhere on this thread has she implied she will do anything further than speak to her ex and support her son, which is the right thing to do IMO.

Unfortunately it has nothing to do with you. Assuming he has parental responsibility then it’s his decision who and when he introduces others to your son. You have no say

I thought she was a friend? And that it's a friendship that's just recently developed into relationship potential?

Now he's only known her for two weeks?

Fine, no problem. 2/3 days later he posted her on Instagram stories, and it was evident she’s not just a friend from whatever he said on that post.

What did he say on the post @Pinkie89 ?