Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

[Pinkie89]

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

If he had told u the truth judging by what your posting here you still would have reacted the same

he’s your ex
he can do whatever he likes when he has his son

just like you can if you want to

He's 7 sleeping in a sofa occasionally won't hurt him. You don't even know if she's slept there.

Thank you. I am going to bow out now because I’m flogging a dead horse.

Some people are clearly stuck in their views and can’t see how damaging they could be. God forbid something happened to my child because I turned a blind eye, I would never forgive myself. I would be really interested to see what the outcome would have been if it was the other way round and I introduced my son to a man I’d known 2 weeks, and had sleeping at my one bed flat after 4 weeks.

I really don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your ex to let you know they’re introducing a new partner, and tbh I thought that’s the relationship we had. The fact he hasn’t told me tells me that he knows it’s too early and/or he isn’t serious about her.

In an ideal world I would love it if we and any future partners could all get along. I thought that was a normal, mature co-parenting relationship, and ultimately in the best interests of any children stuck in the middle. We’re not at loggerheads like we seem to be expected to be.

You seem very intense and controlling OP.

I would too in his situation given your views on the matter

His son too

what i don’t understand: if he only sees him 7 out of 28 days and it’s a new relationship, why can’t he see her on any of the other 21 days? and why is everyone on this thread being so weird LOL

That's a bit different, surely - a woman is unlikely to be a risk to a child in the way a series of random men might be.

But you can't control him having a girlfriend or his gf meeting your kid on his days.

Same as he couldn't try and put a spanner in the works of any new relationship you have. Those things are no longer eachother's business.

It sounds like you've been apart for several years now. I think you need to just accept that he will have girlfriends and you can't stop him.

I find it very interesting that the OP has refused to answer anyone who queries how many / ages of her other kids. This might give an insight into her own love life.

"But even introducing our son to a new partner every 2 years (if it continued at that rate) feels uncomfortable to me.. that’s would be a lot of partners by the time he’s an adult"

And so??

I’m genuinely interested in this. Can you explain a little more please?

And so research the negative impact this has on children, I’m not here to educate you.

Right, have I missed something here? Is the child being left with a random woman from Insta looking after him while his dad is having a social life elsewhere?
If his dad is caring for his son while his ‘friend’ is also there I am failing to see the big problem. She’s not being positioned as a sudden step mum is she?

OK then - now the girlfriend is a murderous predatory drug user? If this is the type of comment you make to your ex, do you really wonder why he doesn't tell you the truth about his relationship with his presumable non murderous, non predatory, non drug using girlfriend.

And stop following him on Instagram!

Yes, he could do that, and it could be argued it would be better for the child, but he doesn't have to. He's not breaking the law, and no one can tell him what to do, including OP. Why is this so hard to comprehend?

If you can tell me when all these comments were posted I will go back and reply to them, I honestly haven’t seen them.

I have 2 children. My first child is nearly 11. I was with her father 7 years. A year after we broke up I met my son’s father. I am single and currently have no interest in dating, although I did last year and didn’t introduce my children to anyone.

If you can tell me when all these comments were posted I will go back and reply to them, I honestly haven’t seen them.
Or you could read through your own thread. You were well able to reply snarly to lots of comments.

What age was your first son when you got pregnant with your 2nd... knowing that the father you chose for your 2nd already had a child he wasn't interested interested in?
I'm not sure you have the right to comment on other women and your exes choices when this was yours...

No not at all. I’m sure she’s nice, that wasn’t the point of this post.

I was replying to the comment in a very general manner, not in relation to this post.

No, he's likely lying because he finds you a PITA and controlling

No she wouldn't. She would be torn apart for putting 'dick' before her child.
That doesn't get in the way of saddo's jumping at the chance to be an arsehole to a worried Mum on the Internet though does it?

You did say you were encouraging your ex to meet someone, he has and you don't like it, where does your son usually sleep, presumably dad has a bed for him? How long has he known her 2 weeks or a month? If he looks after his son every weekend, works in the week, then surely his social time with anyone including a girlfriend is going to be at the weekend when your son is with him. How do you know girlfriend is there. Do you ask your son?

Quite clearly, just to sound more and more histrionic with each post

What is your real concern OP? And why would it make any difference to DS if this woman was just a friend of his dad rather than a girlfriend?

I'm not the poster you're replying to. However, I would suggest you re-read your posts and flip the genders. So it's a man wanting to micro manage his ex's life and conduct with her child. Then in all honesty, ask yourself if they're being controlling and/or would get their ass handed to them on a plate if they posted as you've done on this thread, including the tone and tenor of your posts