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AIBU?

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Unconvinced and confused by DP’s defence of strange item I found

252 replies

HanhanJ · 12/06/2026 09:56

DP moved in with me about 4/5 months ago. He was living in a house owned/shared with his ex previously (long story, but they had been over quite a long time before and weren’t living there at the same time at the end).

We are going on holiday this weekend, and I was trying to find a certain bag for hand luggage last night. It wasn’t where it’s usually kept, so I looked at the top shelf of DP’s wardrobe to try to find it. He keeps his overnight bag in there for work, and his gym bag. I moved these to look behind it and there was a sort of drawstring bag I didn’t recognise. I moved this down too to clear the space, and noticed it was slightly heavy so looked inside it. There was a sort of wearable leather ‘harness’ which clearly contained a space for presumably a toy to be attached.

I asked him what this was doing in the wardrobe, he calmly answered to say he had no idea and hasn’t seen it before, and that he’d not used that bag since moving in which is why it was at the back of the shelf. I brought it up again a bit later, he then suggested his ex must have ‘planted’ it in the bag when he was preparing to move out.

I am unconvinced, does anyone really think this is plausible? No issues with him before this or reasons previously not to trust him btw.

OP posts:
HanhanJ · 16/06/2026 10:42

sheetspread · 16/06/2026 10:39

But in the context of a discovered strap on it’s pretty inescapable that it means “kinky person” (the more common use of it nowadays) and not anything insulting. Especially if he’s in possession of the item! Utter filth isn’t used to say someone’s a slapper even, nowadays it does quite specifically mean someone very horny with kinky tastes. Yes it would be impolite to say it to someone about their sister but not because it’s a pejorative, it’s just obviously rude in the same way it would be rude to say “your sister is top tier in bed”.

Yes he was referring to the bedroom, it wasn’t said to insult her personally.

OP posts:
TheThingOnTheIce · 16/06/2026 11:02

How are you feeling about it now op ?

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