AIBU to object to my 13-year-old daughter moving in with her dad?

[Bigglebiggle]

Have a DD age 13, for the last 10 years she has lived with me primarily and stayed with dad every other weekend and through the holidays. There has been periods in the past she has said she does not like dads and did not want to go, however I have always encouraged this.

I have been with my partner for 3 years, due to get married next year and ever since the engagement DD has been trying to split us up. Recently she has told her dad and school information that is not true, leading to the welfare officer being involved. She does not like my partner as she feels he is strict on her, however he asks her to do what most 13 year olds do, tidy her room, help with chores etc.

DD has informed us and her school she wants to live with dad, however I know this is just a phase and informed her and her dad this is not going to happen, I dont want my child living away from me. Today I have got a call from the school to say DDs dad has picked her up and taken out a court order, im at a loss of what to do, im heart broken.

AIBU to think he is just being over the top and to go to their his house to demand her back?

you couldn't make 1 relationship work what makes you think you can make another one work.

Go DEMAND her back. it'll be the final nail in the coffin for you. courts take a very dim view of attempted violations of their orders.

it's time you grew up I think and stopped thinking what you want is the most important thing in the world

Exactly, well said.

You can’t put your life on hold for a thirteen year old. If she wants to live with her father then let her go, she knows your number if she wants to contact you, which she will. I don’t think your partner should be involved with disciplining her or even telling her to tidy her room. Teenage years are always difficult for mothers and daughters, perhaps some time apart will be good for you both.

You missed that OP seems to have found at least 2 or 3 ‘ideal partners’ between this daughter’s father, including one she married and had a child by ?

With this frequency of found and lost ‘ideal partners’ I think it’s reasonable to wonder why you think ‘she’s finally found the one!’. You might get a better view if you take your rose-tinted specs off and look at the reality.

The mums put multiple partners before her now teen.

Only at this one is the teen saying enough is enough after a stream
of men/husbands step siblings.

A teen doesn’t get to control their parents life. However a teen a child doesn’t have to accept a revolving door of partners.

Sometimes a parent should put their child before a live in sex partner especially after so so many failed attempts.

You should be putting your child first. She is at a very vulnerable and emotional age and if she does not like living with your partner and you forge ahead with your wedding she will feel that you have put this man before her, and that rift will never heal.

Erm yes because this thread is 26 pages long and unlike you I have a life and don’t have time to read every single last comment!
The reality is that OP has had a normal love life and hasn’t just settled for the first man she came across immediately after her divorce. That is normal!

Normal love life?
Wtf there is nothing normal about consistently shacking up with the latest man, moving them in, having kids with everything 2nd man, getting married ir engaged multiple times when you have young kids to be putting first.

Please put your 13 year old daughter first. Why does he need to move in now? Why do you need to marry now? Listen and trust your child. She is wiser than you.

I have a life thanks 🤗
I also find it more worthwhile to comment with a reasonable level of knowledge. All you need to do is read OP's posts.
Some of us don't think OP's love life is normal.

No it’s absolutely not normal to have moved at least three men into with your child since divorcing their dad ten years ago.

In the last 3 years OP has been married to a man she had a child with, broken up then moved in another man and got engaged to him too. Thats not normal, sensible relationship behaviour.

It’s clear she rushes into relationships or she wouldn’t have moved in a different man every few years, she would have dated them without moving them in.

Didn't realise I added it to someone else's thx