To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Op : AIBU?
pretty much everyone : yes
op : no i’m not

And you're calling your friend immature? I rest my case. 😂

Beginning to think this thread is rage bait. OP’s responses are so ridiculous

Why does she need bankrolling if she works 30 hours a week and lives at home? Unless you just mean that she doesn’t pay a contribution for her keep at home?

I had some sympathy for you and your POV, because I agree with some of it, but I have lost it now

So basically YOU are jealous of HER. Now it all makes sense.
her family bankroll her at the moment

and let me guess? She's a knockout and you are ... more average looking?

She sounds overtired and cranky to me. Perhaps it's nap time...

With judgey friends like you, who needs enemies?!?

You are entitled to find it grating, but it's still nothing to do with you.

HTH.

Your friend sounds like me. I'd love to be someone who get up early and goes to bed early, but I'm just not, I'm a night owl. I go to work - to the office - everyday by choice. Most of my colleagues work from home. I could call them lazy because I'm getting up and dressed and getting on a train to work, but no. They aren't lazy they just have a different preference to me! You probably wouldn't call my hobbies productive. I'm an indoorsy person, prefer to be by myself. Most of my hobbies involve me being sat down. I do like going out for a coffee and a chat or going for a walk sometimes. You are a really judgemental person and I'd much rather be friends with your friend than you!

I'm really glad you're getting your arse handed to you on here! I always beat myself up for being this way, because people like you make me feel rubbish.

Of course it is. It's fun to poke the bear though

No I’d say we both look about the same.

I work hard for my money, I finance my own travel and hobbies. She relies on living with her parents rent free to be able to afford anything, and even then she’s always talking about how she wishes she could afford to do more.

But you said she doesn’t do anything except stay in bed?
I’m confused 😕

Textbook.

Exactly, so why are you so triggered by her? Just get over it.

Are you suggesting her job isn't hard work?

Yes I’m fine thanks for your concern, you seem nice.

It’s an unwritten rule that you don’t hit on anyone at the gym, so it’s not that likely.

And the friend does work.

Most people in this day and age use dating sites online.

I’m sure there are plenty of men she’ll meet at sewing club 🤔

You sound like you don’t like your ‘friend’ very much…
Would be horrified if a friend of mine was slagging me off like this…

Yes, it is rage bait. There are too many of them on MN atm - posted by people with too much time on their hands.

Do you realise how poorly childcare workers are paid? It's why I had to leave, I couldn't afford to move out of my parents.

You sound a right dose
One of these hyper people who can't sit still and "just can't help it".

So her estimated take home pay is about £1652 per month. She doesn’t pay any rent or bills, apparently, and doesn’t leave her bed except to go to work. However she also wishes she had more money to do things? Something isn’t adding up here OP…

She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares

You do, apparently, as you've spent multiple posts getting increasingly apoplectic about it and shouting 'bollocks' at people who disagree with you.

I think your main problem isn't that your friend is lazy. It's that you're desperate for approval and praise for your lifestyle, and she doesn't give a shit what people think about hers. Your posts reek of insecurity, and I think subconsciously you're envious - not of your friend's lifestyle, but of the fact that she's clearly confident in her choices and doesn't feel the need to prove herself to others. You're not confident in your choices. You're seeking validation and approval for them and you're pissed off that you're not getting that from her (or from this thread).

I think you have become a bit overly-defensive because you enjoy going to the gym - which, make no mistake, I am sure all of us think is absolutely fine - so long as you own it for what it is: a choice in the way you spend your time that isn't necessarily how everyone else would choose to go about keeping fit and healthy

If your comments about it being a virtue were only directed at the OP, then why do you keep telling me that I should "own it for what it is"?

I've never once claimed the gym was anything other than a way of keeping fit. I've simply pointed out that it isn't inherently unproductive. Nor have I suggested that everyone should go to the gym.

Quite the opposite - I've explicitly said that if people prefer other ways of staying active, that's great.

What strikes me is that you seem very keen to accuse others of being defensive while showing a fair amount of defensiveness yourself. You've described going to the gym as "mindless" and "unproductive", which is every bit as dismissive and judgemental as the very behaviour you're criticising.

Your own argument was also based on a sweeping generalisation. You suggested that people who spend time at the gym ought instead to be helping elderly neighbours or moving people's furniture, as though attending a gym somehow precludes doing anything else useful with the rest of one's time.

That's a pretty smug assumption, and not one that stands up to much scrutiny.

You are so angry have you considered cutting your work hours maybe do some more gym time to run off some of that disproportionate anger !

Honestly OP, it is that you're envious of the family support she gets?

I understand, I've felt annoyed at people before, and it turned out I wanted a kind family like they had.

Sometimes anger is easier to manage than sadness.