To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

What grates me is people that think early risers are morally. superior to late risers when they both are in. bed the same amount of time, both work the same amount of time and both doing leisure of their choosing the same amount of time.

Well, you admit you think you’re superior to her. Which is obvious to most people on the thread from the way you write. Hence why the voting has gone 87% against you. Moral smugness/complacency is never an attractive quality.

I’d be interested to hear what precisely she says (actual quotes) that demonstrates she looks down on more active people.

Either way, I’d sack off this friendship. You have a poor opinion of her. Adults who behave like adults (something you seem rather fixated on) tend not to maintain friendships with people they dislike/despise.

I was about to type the same. As a night owl all I can think of is, 5 am in the morning!, WTF! I’m retired so don’t get up until nine or 10, however, once I’m up, I’m raring to go. My DH is up at six every morning, but in bed by 9 pm every evening. That’s like middle of the afternoon to me. I find that bizarre for a grown adult, but that’s his sleep pattern and I wouldn’t try to change it any more than I would consider changing mine.

OP it's time for some self-reflection here. What do you honestly want from this thread, and why on Earth do you want it? Strangers to say 'yes you are better than your friend because you earn more working in an office, go to the gym and have more wholesome hobbies?' If you truly believe this, why do you need us to agree with you? Why do you need to feel superior? What I think is sad is that you cannot reflect on the fact that, maybe, you are earning more than a care worker and have more energy and free time, because society is messed up and values the wrong things. It is pathetic and entirely unself-aware to the point of cringe to come on a parenting forum and moan that someone working in child care and earning a pittance is 'lazy', because they lie-in on their days off, while you, in 'full-time work', have all the time in the world to bitch about your friend online, while you are being paid to do your job. Honestly, what sort of person do you think that makes you? What do you think you are doing here other than embarrassing yourself? If you don't like your friend's values, don't be her friend! If you really are that superior, I am sure you'll find more like-minded people to hang out with - but perhaps when you do you will see how dreadful people with your values really are to be around (and want your old friend back(>

You sound insufferable.

I can't bear people who equate being a morning person with some kind of moral righteousness. I'm not a morning person. This doesn't make me lazy, I just do things later in the 24 hour cycle.

You like mornings, she doesn't, so what? Live and let live. If you don't actually like her, don't have her as a 'friend'.

The more you post about her, the more she seems like she has an amazing life!

Lucky her getting bank rolled by her parents.

I'm trying to demonstrate to the OP that not everyone has the same take on things. There are other ways of staying fit - and quite honestly, I am someone who prefers different ways on balance.

Truthfully, there have been lots of times in my life I have been a regular gym-goer.

But I still don't understand why the OP would come on here and start a thread about someone and imply that she is superior because she chooses to spend time at the gym. It's a choice. It was for me, it is for her.

And yes, I do tend to prefer other ways of keeping fit and find the gym a bit of a tedious, mindless place. That's my opinion, no more. But that is my point to the op: a lot of this judgment about how a life is well-spent comes down to opinion not some kind of objective litmus.

I’m one of those people whose favourite past time is lying down. When I get the chance, I will always choose bed. I’ve been this way since I was a child.

I have a circadian rhythm disorder so my sleeping is naturally all over the place. I function in society solely because I have medication to help me sleep at “normal” times.

I have a very busy, professional job as a social worker. I’ve got a 1st class honours degree. Which a lot of the assignments for were done lying in bed 🤷🏽‍♀️

I have just about enough energy to do my job and parent my child. I literally have nothing left in the tank for active hobbies. I wish I did but I just don’t. My favourite thing to do when my child is at their fathers is spend 48 hours not talking to another soul, that’s what recharges me, not spending an hour at the gym.

I do wonder about people who fill their every waking moment with activities. I feel like they’re trying to avoid something in their own lives. Sitting with their own thoughts maybe? Or maybe they just like to feel superior to us “lazy” adults? Filling a void because of childhood trauma? Succumbing to the age old subconscious capitalist messaging that if you’re not being productive every minute of the day then you’re somehow a less deserving human being?

For what it’s worth, I own my own home, have a car, have lifelong friends who accept me as I am and contribute to society by way of safeguarding the most vulnerable.

You sound like an insufferable, immature, petulant child. Maybe it’s you who needs to grow up and be an adult instead of acting like a teenager.

This thread is absolutely vile, you have a hatred of this girl. It goes way beyond you feeling put out by her comments if they actually happened. The way you speak about her and hypothetical situations that haven't happened speaks volumes. Do you genuinely think this is a mature way to deal with a dwindling friendship. The way you have spoken about her is disgusting. Does that even bother you?

Your friend sounds boring or is depressed.

OP I suspect you're in your 20's? Meaning I'm a bit older that you. In a couple of decades you'll realise that life is too short to call somebody a friend who you neither like or respect. If you have so little respect for her that you're happy to say really quite mean and bitchy things about her on a public platform then this isn't a friendship. It's lazy and unpleasant to spend your spare time tearing other people down. Maybe if you spent more time interacting with people who you actually do enjoy you might find some who you have a connection with and don't feel the need to be so bitchy about.

Any way why are are messing about on SM at 7.30 in the morning. Get some bloody work done you lazy midden.

Hate to see how you treat your enemies OP.

Being a nursery nurse for 5 hours a day is not very hard, is it.

Why should she organise her life around your values?

They are not her values, and they are not moral absolutes.

You sound like you need to chat this through with a therapist. Why do you care so much, and why is it your mission in life to 'correct' her?

Yes, I'm beginning to think that maybe when OP says that her friend mocks her hobbies, what she means is that she doesn't wax lyrical about how incredible it is that she gets up early and goes to the gym and rolls her eyes when OP goes on her moral crusade.

Your nastiness is getting baity now, like you want to fuel outrage… 👀

As long as you own your opinion for what it is- just your opinion and its not to be applied to other people, thats fine.

I mean, she deffo should be exercising in the sense that we should ALL exercise for the sake of our mental health and physical health. Besides that I don’t really see why it irks you so

An adult not knowing the difference between laying and lying is grating.

LOL, you do resent her don't you @myothersockis 😆

Ture. Why do you need to vent OP, if she is so useless, it shouldn't bother you.

I reckon she is either lazy and entitled as you say or, more likely, suffers from anxiety and depression.

You sound truly awful.

Do this lass a favour and block her, because you’re not her friend. You’re a bully.

But.... the OP isn't the exercise police! 🤷‍♀️

The 'friend' is an adult who can make her own choices, without needing to justify herself to anyone else.

This. ^