To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

To be honest yes I do because while she works 6 hour days so that she can “bed rot” (she wears it like a badge of pride) and scroll on social media, I’m out at the gym, running, at social groups, with other friends. Then she has the nerve to look down on others

But she’s not she’s ridculuing op for having hobbies…

I agree with this. You’re probably getting on her nerves by looking down on her so she’s retaliating. Try not discussing your gym and running hobbies and see what happens.

Maybe she thinks you're lazy because you go to bed so early while she's able to stay awake until 3am.

I find the whole thing aggravating. She’s an adult, not a teenager.

Tell her next time “shut up Susan, you’re being rude you like to lie in bed all day, whereas I have hobbies what’s wrong with that?.” Just shut her down.

Why does it bother you that she chooses to do nothing? She has an active job working with children so she’s probably on the go during work.

I agree OP.

I may get flamed but I have contempt for people who want to lie around in bed all day. I think for grown adults its utterly lame.

Firstly because its a huge waste of your life. Secondly it tends to push work onto others. If you’re in a family and you lie in bed until 2-3pm it means your spouse is picking up your work and your kids are suffering.

Not so bad if you’re single but I just baulk at the waste of opportunities to do something fun and valuable with your life. I couldn’t live with someone like that.

You are incredibly unreasonable.

I sort of would understand being annoyed if a friend never wants to do anything.

But being so self centred as to think everyone should keep the same hours as you, or saying it’s “a pillar of being an adult” to live by the hours that you naturally gravitate too is ridiculous.

If I said you’re lazy for being asleep at 10, lolling in bed at 10pm when people are using that time productivity, what would you think?

(Chose a very early time on purpose - perhaps you’re not in bed quite as early as 10, but substitute 11 or midnight or whenever you go to bed)

She works, it’s up to her what she does in her spare time. Just because you like hobbies doesn’t mean everyone does.
Maybe your friendship has run its course

This is a toxic friendship on both sides. You are being judgemental and critical, and you describe her using ridicule.

The actual choices each of you are making are fine, it is both of your attitudes that are the issue.

This: I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends is absolute nonsense btw.

You’ve gone down the wrong route criticising her for when she gets up. What would really piss me off is being mocked for having hobbies and interests.
She sounds dull. When she’s not at work does she just vegetate? What do you find to talk about?

I wouldn’t find it grating but if she genuinely has no interests of hobbies outside of work I might not find I had much in common with her. Why are you friends?

I also think she’s doing it as she’s fed up of you judging her.

Just don’t be friends as you clearly don’t like her

Also - look into your use of the words “she has the nerve”.

Morning people don’t seem to like being called out on wanting everything their own way.

A huge waste of time- according to you what should people be doing? She has a job.

What valuable things should be doing?

If you spend most of your free time reading is that considered a waste of time in your book?

Eh? Can you explain how the sleeping patterns and hobbies of the OP and her friend have any effect on their housing situations?

What kind of 'friendship' is this?! I don't recognise it. You find her aggravating, she ridicules you. If you can't accept each other's differences perhaps it's time to knock the friendship on the head?

But why does it annoy you? How does it affect you enough to annoy you?

I get up at 5am 3 mornings a week to go to the gym but I do it because it’s my choice & it benefits me. Just like meeting up with friends & being part of social groups.
I don’t expect my friends to praise me for all that, just like I don’t praise them for staying up hours later than I do.

It sounds like you do make a bit of a thing of how great you are with your gym and running. Yet, when you think about it, those are wholly unproductive activities. If you devoted the same time to something that was actually useful you might have more of a leg to stand on.

God I miss staying in bed until midday on a weekend day. Now I have DC and 8 is a lie in. I have always got up by 6 on weekdays and often work in the evening (teacher). Reading in bed was a great way to recharge.

I was a bit like this because I was always exhausted. Turns out I had hashimotos, endometriosis and a host of other health issues. People were always saying I was lazy

People are so crazy on here!!! The woman has a job but for some reason that equates to her being lazy as she does nothing in her free time and she won’t amount to getting on the housing ladder!!!

Do you know what the word friend means op?

because this isn’t a friendship