To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

She just has a different sleeping pattern to you. Sleeps 8 hours so isn’t lazy. And works. Plus many people find the gym dull. It sounds like you don’t like each other very much though! Maybe time to reevaluate the friendship and whether you are getting anything out of it

And you aren’t a saint because you are able to wake up at 7

Having a different sleep pattern is one thing, laying about in bed until 3pm at the weekend is another! She does nothing but drive to and from work. That’s lazy 🤷🏻‍♀️

5:30, 7 is a lie in at the weekend!

Yes YABU.

It literally has no impact on your life. You will be a pretty miserable person if you go through life judging people for their life choices that are none of your business. Being judgemental and sneery is a very unattractive trait.

YANBU to find it irritating that she judges / makes comments on your life choices though.

Lies in bed till 3pm? She may as well stay in bed the whole day!

It’s not a way I’d want to organise my life either, but it does not affect you so why do you care what she does?

As a night owl, it really grates on me that “morning people” believe that they are morally superior.

Can’t say I stay in bed till 3pm at the weekend - kids and all that - but I enjoy a lie in till 10am or so. I don’t believe I am lazy. I work damn hard all week and I need the rest. There is no virtue in getting out of bed early for absolutely no reason.

I don't think your issue is lazy people, I think it's your friends ridiculing you.

You sound like a sanctimonious arse. It's none of your business what she does with her time.

my dad used to say "you missed the whole of the day"
and I'd say "but you missed the whole of the night"

She isn't lazy, just different to you, you are judgemental.

Why is it “lazy” to be in bed at 9am but not “lazy” to be in bed at 1am?

OP, you are so lazy to be in bed so early. It’s really disappointing and grim that you go to bed so early, some people are still awake and doing things much later than you. What a lazy and unproductive creature you are to be sleeping.

Your friend ISN’T lazy. She has a job and what she does in her free time is up to HER!!! You sound insufferable!!!

You don’t get a medal because you have a different sleeping pattern to your friend. She goes to work everyday and spends her weekend as she likes. As long as she’s not neglecting children or animals or sponging off the state then she’s free to do as she likes.

Everyone has 24 hours in their day. Just because you choose a different slot to hers to sleep in doesn't make you more worthy. Equally everyone has different hobbies.

I am not a morning person or a night owl! But I work hard as a childminder with no breaks in the day so I like to go to bed early ish around 10 pm maybe before.

My hobby is watching TV.

So a person does something of their choice which doesn't harm anyone and has absolutely no impact on you? And you find it grating?

I think the question to ask yourself is "why" you find it grating? Are you under some subconscious pressure to get up and about and do loads of things with your life to make it "meaningful" and it annoys you that she doesn't feel the same necessity?

It’s less about the sleeping pattern (although annoying - you’re an adult, not a teenager), but more about the fact she does nothing all day, nothing at the weekends, and has the nerve to ridicule me for having productive hobbies!

I think you are getting a hard time here. Obviously how she leads her life is up to her but maybe in 20 years time you will have a nice house and car while she's living in a bedsit!

People reap what they sow!

You clearly think you’re superior. If I were your ‘friend’ I’d totally wind you up with lazy stories. Sanctimony isn’t a good trait.

So she normally sleeps 7-8 hours?

It’s not clear here why you’re friends, OP? Or is she really an irritating acquaintance?

Because she has the nerve to ridicule me! When all she does (literally) is sit in bed

Why? If she’s then up until 3am the following morning, that’s 12 hours in which she can do things.

So it's the ridiculing that is the issue, and not what she does? That's not what your post said ...

Why are you friends with someone who ‘grates’ on you so much?