To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Yeah that’s annoying. I hate receiving links to watch crappy TikToks.

What are you basing that on? She has a job and no expensive hobbies, so she's probably saving more money than the OP!

Yeah, you do sound like a bitch.

As many have said, you’re not friends. You appear to hate this person. And honestly, if I were her, I’d hate you too. Maybe you need a bit more sleep? You sound like a very crabbit person. Surprised you have time to even post here, given your busy life which is much busier than your tik tok acquaintance. Maybe seek validation elsewhere. It’s a shame that you feel you needed to start a Mumsnet thread to justify your hatred towards someone who lives differently to you. Perhaps this is rage bait? Either way, it’s ridiculous.

Seems reasonable to assume she stays home and avoids making plans with friends like the OP because they’re nasty and 2 faced!

If that gets your goat then you need a new friend.

Would you be happier if she was sat in a chair doing the same thing?

You do know that sleeping patterns are determined by biology right? It's not just adolescents who have a preference for late nights and later starts?
It's all a bit puritanical and judgemental to think those who are owls are lazy. I see used to work in a creative industry. The office was deserted until 10 am, but people often worked until 9 pm. It's the hardest I've ever worked 50-60 HR weeks were not uncommon. But I'm a natural owl. So you know you'd probably consider my lie ins 'lazy'. But I wrote a whole doctorate largely between the hours of 7pm and 12 (after I'd put the kids to bed).

Maybe she has intellectual interests? She could be sitting in bed listening to podcasts on history or politics or anything at all that interests her. She might be reading, or following up on current events or natural
history or psychology. Maybe she meditates or just spends some time daydreaming. Maybe she writes in her journal, draws or knits? Maybe she is a film buff and loves to watch particular genres or directors? A person can have a very active interior life without having to perform activities that others approve of.

🏅

Totally her choice and it wouldn’t bother me at all. She’s working and choosing to spend her free time however she wants - as are you. The fact that her choices are different to yours don’t make them wrong.

Goodness I’m glad you’re not my friend 😂. And I say that as someone who is up and out by 6am every day, who also runs and hikes. Not all my friends are the same as me, nor would I expect them to be. I choose my friends on their kindness and ability to make me laugh. If you don’t want to be friends with her don’t, but I would take a look at your own attitude to people who don’t conform to your standard of an ‘adult’ if you want to keep your other friends.

Plus, it’s worth remembering that people mature at different ages. I can’t imagine she will be doing what she does now when she’s 40 or 50, however for now she’s doing what she wants to do. It doesn’t affect your activities or anyone else’s.

Deal with the ridicule
And stop being judgemental

@myothersockis why does she want you as a 'friend'?
Are you desperate for her time? If not just leave her alone.

You’re just lying about her and changing the narrative to suit your argument- you don’t sound very nice.

She does not ‘lie in bed all day’ she has an active job FFS. What do you do OP? Because if you sit at a desk I don’t doubt you are less tied. Do not underestimate being on your feet all day looking after young children- why so dismissive of her work. Some friend you are.

She’s probably exhausted. I don’t think I’d be able to go from looking after young children all day to thinking ‘yay now I’ll go out for a 5 mile run’.

You are not a better person because you get up at 5.30. You sound smug, sanctimonious and lacking in any empathy.

Sleep pattern isn’t anything to do with laziness it is to do with your natural body clock. Trying to live by a different routine is actually quite bad for you. Your friend opting for a shift starting at eleven is quite practical.
Doing nothing physical with her down time may be not ideal but may also be tiredness, depression (presenting as tiredness and inertia), underlying chronic illness. Or just that she is different from you.

Why are you two friends when you have such contempt for each other?

You're not her friend

I wasn’t diagnosed at her age. None of this was discovered until I was early thirties

Oh and good for her for prioritising rest after an active job. As a society we do ourselves no favours by having to be busy and rushing around the whole time. We underestimate the need for rest. She is just listening to her body.

I think you would have been better off writing your OP with a focus on her criticism or ridicule of you, where her different lifestyle choices are a bit of the backstory, rather than making the focus be her ‘laziness’ and how ‘lazy’ people annoy you. Can you see all you are doing is criticising the way other people live their lives despite it having no impact on you i.e. the thing you say your friend is doing that has annoyed you?

Of first off you and this friend are no longer compatible. What actually happened that evoked this reaction in you?

Secondly, you're only in your twenties. You need to get off this track you're on of comparing, judging and harbouring feelings of contempt and superiority. It will be a long, lonely and sad life for you otherwise.

Hey @myothersockis , maybe all the people who have time to post on here at this time in the day are like your friend!

Everyone else has gone to work or the gym! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Got to go myself. Have a good day everyone.

Sorry, but you don't sound like a nice person and I would find you annoying! Stop being so judgemental and just do you. What other people choose to do is literally none of your business.
I'm an early riser and do gym/spin before work, but I'd certainly never be scornful about someone else being different to me .... because, everyone IS different!

@myothersockisif all she does 'LITERALLY' is sit in bed, when do you see her? Do you sit in bed with her?

Yes, you sound like a massive bitch. Worry about yourself.