To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

I’m a lark, but I still think YABU. How she lives her life has nothing to do with you.

Her job is notoriously exhausting and her hobbies are more solitary and homely than yours, so what?

You would hate me.
Im up at 05.30 most days for work and home by 14.00.
Currently on holiday and have been for 8 weeks. I get up at about 06.00 and walk the dog before it gets too hot.
Back to the flat, coffee, vape and a lovely sit down.
Siesta in the afternoon for a couple of hours.
Bed by about 22.00.
Today I am going to drive to the town and visit the bank, town hall and cooperative.
Not very energetic, but necessary.

No health issues, trust me if she had them she’d play them up. She had a minor car accident once (and we’re talking minor, some minor damage to her bumper) and she was still off work ten weeks later, claiming she couldn’t walk

I wouldn’t say they’re unproductive - they benefit your health and thus mean you’ll use less NHS resources. I have other hobbies too - sewing, I volunteer, a lot more than her.

OMG sanctimonious morning people are the worst!

Your friend sounds annoying, but you sound like a dimwit who thinks your natural body clock makes you a better person.

It’s not easy being a night owl who has to work against their natural rhythm to function in society, and while for me it’s certainly got much much easier as I’ve got older, it most certainly didn’t magically switch when I was no longer a teenager. It didn’t really start getting better til I was in my 40s. I still have significant sleep inertia and I’m 50.

Also, being busy isn’t the be all and end all in life. Yes, lazy people are annoying, but no more annoying than people who bang on about how busy they are all the time. Have a fucking medal!

and now I have to drag myself out of bed and go to work

That's MN for you. If you don't own your own home or, even worse, can't or won't drive, you're basically a waste of skin.

People’s senses affect each of us differently. For instance your sense of taste. Some people taste spice very strongly so like mild spice in their curry’s others don’t have a strong taste for spice so need stronger spiced food for it to have the same impact.
this happens with all our senses. We have a sense of movement. We need to move different amounts to feel regulated. Some people need to move a lot to feel regulated in their body. These people are up running cycling etc. they aren’t supper hero’s they just need to move to feel ok. You need to move. Your friends sense of movement is very heightened. She doesn’t need to move much at all to feel regulated. She’s not lazy, it’s just that perhaps her sense of movement affects her differently to you

Doesn’t grate on me as doesn’t impact me personally but I cannot understand why a healthy adult would want to spend all their free time in bed. What a waste of life.

You’re not answering the question of why you would be friends with someone you don’t like.

I see where you're coming from OP. I suppose it's about life choices and energy levels. I am like you - early riser, and a "do-er" with hobbies and community involvement. I don't tend to have much in common with people like your friend, but equally it's up to them how they live their life. You'll probably find you drift apart over time as you don't share the same values.

I am a night owl. I wish I wasn"t because the world is very much set up for morning people, but I generally feel crap until mid afternoon at the earliest. The worst thing though is the piousness of morning people like you!

As an adult people can choose how they live their life!!!

So what? It doesn’t affect you. It doesn’t take anything from you. It doesn’t cost you.

It literally doesn’t matter. Being lazy doesn’t matter.

You don’t have some moral high ground just because you like getting up early.

Why does it bother you ? Do you wish she was out of bed more so you could do more things together?. Otherwise it’s really strange that someone living their own life would annoy you.

But you sound more like a teenager. They tend to be very black and white in their thinking and judgemental and unable to see anyone else's point of view. But they usually grow out of it in the end.

At your young age, the things you consider a pillar of being an adult, half the time aren’t.

Give it 30 years and you’ll realise 99% of it all is bollocks.

As a generaIisation, I would posit that motivated, active, engaged, outgoing, socially energetic people have better life chances than those who choose to shun such things.

But each to their own!

You sound like you really don’t like her @myothersockis- you haven’t said a single positive thing about her. It’s weird that you call her a friend when you hate her so much.

You’re an adult. She’s an adult. We make our own decisions and that’s it! You don’t like her lifestyle, she doesn’t like your lifestyle. Stop being friends then. It’s really that simple. You have nothing in common and seem to dislike each other. Why get annoyed, it’s a complete waste of time. Much like your post.

This tbh be interesting to see her step count. There is quite a lot of incidental activity in caring for LOs.

At the risk of bringing neurodiversity in to everything, this was how I was throughout my twenties. And it was because I found my work so loud and draining, that I needed a lot of time alone in my bed recovering.

I got more resilient when I had children of my own and was up very early then but often used to go to bed at the same time as them.

I considered it very frustrating at the time and still do because I am not able to do as much my peers, although I have better strategies nowadays that help.

“I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends.”

No it’s not. How you spend your time is no more valid than how your friend spends her time.
Bizarre to call her a friend then ridicule her life choices online to make yourself feel more grown up.

I see what you’re saying but the OP’s ‘lazy’ friend works, plus if she never goes anywhere or does anything she possibly doesn’t spend much money so perhaps she’ll be the one with more funds in future.

As long as she still goes to work on time, it doesn’t matter what time she goes to bed or wakes up. She enjoys being a night owl while others prefer being an early lark. I can swing between the two depending on what I’m doing. I’m sure she wakes up earlier than 3pm but chills in her bed. I did work experience in a nursery for 2 weeks and the kids made me so tired! Most physically demanding job I’ve ever been in! Maybe she’s recharging her batteries!

I'm with you, @opand would be judging