To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

Of course it is. There’s a reason teenagers have the stereotype of lazing in bed all day.

You're just annoyed because she ridicules your lifestyle and are biting back. You're both as bad as each other and are not real friends or you'd be supportive.

What time she wakes up is irrelevant.

But I would agree that people who sit on bed for hours and hours after working on social media/scrolling on a phone are pretty boring and uninspiring.

You are not her friend.

Friends don't bitch about their friends like that.

You sound incredibly immature.

Who needs enemies with friends like the OP.

Why do you call her your friend op? You clearly do not respect or even like her?

I find laziness very unattractive. But I am aware that this is a ‘me’ thing, and I stay quiet.

Laziness that affects others is frustrating, like parents who don't parent, or a couple where one expects the other to do all of the housework. Her ridiculing you is unacceptable. I'd also say that a lot of people don't present as depressed or having low energy but actually are. I work full time but by the time my children are in bed all I want to do is sleep. I have friends who religiously clean and work out daily and I wish I had the energy but I just don't anymore. My weekends are a mix of kids activities, seeing family, and doing all the housework.

I think it’s lame when adults go to bed at 9pm to be honest 🤷‍♀️ or is that horrible and judgey?

To be honest I don’t know. We’ve been friends since uni and she’s never really grown up. I do think it’s time to cut her off

YABU. It wouldn't be my choice of a way to live, but it really has nothing to do with you, and while she may be ridiculing you at least she hasn't come to MN to complain about you!

I have a friend who doesn't even bother to get dressed at the weekend unless they have to, and stays up late at night - they have a very well paid job (not a wfh job) and as far as I'm concerned they can do what they like.

Almost anything is better than lying in bed screen rotting all day IMHO.

Playing with your children
Volunteering
Playing sports
Cleaning
Working
Walking/being in nature
Going to museums
Meeting friends
Talking to friends
Cooking

Etc etc
And yes, reading is much better than scrolling. Although reading in bed all day is possibly not ideal for your family if that’s all you do.

The reason teenagers laze is usually due to staying up into the wee hours of the morning and getting 8 hours sleep between 3 or 4 am and 11 and they need more sleep due to growth between 8 and 10 hours adults need less sleep. Night owls exist and if she is up reading late into the night thats a hobby. Once her home is clean and bills paid she is adulting is good as 90% of people

My niece is like this. Drives me mad. Always “exhausted” during the day but stays up all night. She’s wasting her life. She’s a highly trained nurse but doesn’t “feel good” most days so calls in.

Well if I were your friend I’d be dumping you quick sharp. You sound awful. Getting up early and having hobbies does not make you superior. You think it does though.

How many times should we tell you….its her life she can do what she wants!!! Move on with your friendship and find some who share your views and then she can find much better, non judgy friends. Hope that helps ✌️

Is she actually a family member - you know you don't need to stay friends with someone who ridicules you and who you don't appear to like right?

Her hobby is going to bed! Leave her be, as long as she likes her life, she’s doing absolutely nothing wrong.

It’s definitely lame with people in their 20s go to bed at 9pm!!

Surprising that you are friends. Do you have anything in common with her, OP?

I think that would be for the best. For both of you.

“A pillar of being an adult” 😂 you sound about 15. Anyway you will realise in life that you don’t get a medal or recognition for any of it really so you might as well do what you want.

I think the difference is that people that sleep say 10pm-6am are generally up and out at the weekend, visiting places, going to see things, walking, being active and seeing the world outside of their house. People that sleep 2am-10am are often watching TV / phones and missing the daylight/ opportunity to be active and out.

I don’t go to bed at 9pm! But a healthy lifestyle is far better than rotting in bed.

No, but you do get a healthy lifestyle with things to do. Not watching TikTok’s in bed all day!