To find lazy adults really grating?

[myothersockis]

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

I think it’s sensible. Sleep protects mental health. By the time the 30s come along most women are sleep deprived due to bringing up kids. So make the most of your sleep in your 20s. I wouldn’t include Fri/Sat nights in this.

I think she is probably exaggerating in response to your get-up-early saintliness. 😇

Either way, you don't seem to like or respect each other, so why bother?

Ha, same. My dad was a morning person. I am not. He'd bang on about me missing the daylight but he had a nap in the afternoon (which he wouldn't have needed if he hadn't been up since stupid o'clock). I would gleefully point out how much daylight that wasted.

Sanctimonious morning people, ugh. Then they have a toddler bedtime too. Let us have our pattern, you have yours.

When I read the thread title I thought it was going to be someone whose "laziness" directly affects you, like you go on holiday together but you have to do all the organising. But actually she's just choosing to live her life differently to you. So what?

I'm a morning person too, OP, and it's nothing more than a natural sleeping pattern. I'm useless after about 10pm. It doesn't make me superior in any way. Thank God for the people who can do important work at night...

The flip side of me getting up to go to the gym at 5am is that I often do start getting ready for bed at 9pm unless I’m out that evening.

I have absolutely no problem with your thinking that lame - judge as much as you like, it doesn’t affect me!

Rubbish, you can’t bank sleep. Everyone planning to have kids should make the most of their freedom before that, not live a restricted lifestyle because one day they might have to.

You’re not her friend. Just move on and find other friends with similar interests to you.

You clearly have contempt for her so this friendship has run its course. Do her a favour and move on.

By your own admission she’s at work during the day.
Your constant attempt to change the goal posts so people belittle your “friend” is pathetic.

Yes, she’s definitely the victim here!

If the friend isn't planning to have kids, will the OP judge her for that too?

6 hours a day is a part time job. In her 29s!

I hope she doesn’t to be honest

Yes, you are.
Though you were going to complain about a colleague who doesn’t pull their weight but no, its someone who doesn’t go gym and stays up past their bed time 🤣🤣

I'd focus on blocking her comments by just showing that they have no impact on you - you can't change how other people live and nor should you, people are different and that's absolutely Okay.

Well, she is a victim because you are slagging her off on social media!

True I am sure there could be exceptions.

But taking at face value some of the updates from the OP then it's also possible that this friend ends up with real or imagined health problems and a life of being paid benefits by you and me! That outcome seems less likely for the OP based on what she has said.

In their own time why would anyeone care? If we agree to meet at 10am and they say at 9.45 sorry i am too lazy to get out of bed sure not impressed

Sit in bed doing what? Reading Proust, the online weekly shop, paying bills, doing mind games that require an IQ of 150?

I doubt she's sat there staring at the wall.

It’s 30 hours so about 0.8. I’d say that’s close to full time. It’s not like she’s out stabbing people or defrauding pensioners. Also you say no MH issues but how do you know? I had serious depression for years and many of my friends had no clue. One feature was messed up sleep and spending lots of time in bed.

She’s not lazy, she just doesn’t have your superiority complex, which is why she probably makes digs at you. She is probably sick to the back teeth of your judgement, I also expect you’re vocal about all the other people you wrongly deem lazy too. You sound insufferable. She goes to work, and runs around after young children, that is the opposite of lazy. I expect she’s shattered. Especially as early years care is on its knees and there are nowhere near enough staff to child ratio. “Fair play that’s hard work, but still”. Absolute ignorance. There’s still time to have this post withdrawn, it’ll do you a huge favour as this clearly hasn’t landed how you believed it would.

I think you can do both. I certainly did!

Largely scrolling on TikTok and sending them to me and others.

You call her a friend OP, but if she only sleeps, works and scrolls till the early hours , when do you two actually see each other ?

People have different energy levels and choose to spend their lives in different ways. At least she’s not going to suffer from burn out like so many other people in our society. I personally can’t stand this culture of keeping yourself busy at all times and working yourself to the ground