To be disappointed with how soft play handled this man

[Playcomment]

I reported an inappropriate sexual comment made by another parent at a soft play area yesterday.

I was climbing down from one of the raised areas with my DS and didn’t realise he was climbing up. I said a polite sorry and he replied not to worry and that if he knew his £10 entry included him getting an arse in his face he would have visited months ago. I challenged him and then reported to staff.

The staff approached me 10/15 minutes later to say they’d spoken to him and he had admitted saying that but was ‘obviously joking’ and he relayed his apologies, so they considered the matter sorted.

Personally, I think he should have been asked to leave. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable and could have gone on to say similar to other parents present.

I'm 69 and have spent decades listening to this sort of shit from men. I find it offensive but maybe the younger women on this thread aren't as jaded as me. So yeah, it's probably a generational thing.

A lot of us aren't saying that it was perfectly normal. He misjudged a joke and apologised. The unreasonable thing is you expecting him to be kicked out in case he goes on to say similar to other parents present, as if he's some sort of deviant deliberately making risque jokes for kicks.

You probably made HIM uncomfortable climbing down on top of him without looking where you were going. He made a stupid joke in an awkward situation and you went running to the staff in the hope that he and his kids would be made to leave because of it? Yes, YABU.

Honestly I think it's just the kind of thing someone might say to make light of the situation without intending to sexually harass anyone.
You could have told him yourself if you found it offensive and the staff did warn him so sounds like it was handled fine.

Sorry I hate lewd jokes and obvious sexism but I really don’t see this as that.

He made a silly joke about your “arse” to make light of an awkward situation. You did literally have your arse in his face so it’s not like it came out of nowhere or he was making something up to be lewd. If he’d said anything about your sexual parts (fanny in my face rather than arse for instance) or insinuated a sexual move (sitting on my face) it would have been different.

If you were offended then he should be made to apologise to you, fair, but he shouldn’t be made to leave.

The OP shoved her arse in his face and he is inappropriate? He made a joke. OP is overreacting

I am most assuredly not a cool girl, or even a Cool Girl™️ in the way you’re using the phrase, and I think his comment was funny.

I’m super-alert to inappropriate behaviour and this wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest from a fellow parent. If anything it would have made me feel LESS embarrassed about the situation, by adding humour. Obviously it would have been entirely inappropriate coming from a member of staff.

Those who wouldn’t have been offended by the comment aren’t necessarily all awful feminism-destroyers and rape-culture-abetters. Just as those who would have been offended by it are not all humourless man-hating harpies. It’s ok for us to disagree well. 😊

You stuck your bum in his face, maybe he should have complained about you. He tried to make light of an awkward situation.

Unclench!

seriously? gross. no wonder we will never get anywhere with sexual harassment and men being inappropriate to random women because of the likes of people in this thread. at least you told him off op and he got a telling off from staff, i suppose that's the most you can expect, any more and women would have to be considered human beings worthy of respect in public places and we can't have that.

And this is why kids can't cope with life, someone says something to Mum she doesn't agree with and she goes running to tell on him! It was a joke, you need to lighten up. And before anyone says it, I'm not a "cool mum" I'm just not always looking for offence

Very surprised at these comments, so many being ok with this.

A woman enjoying time with her child in a very very child-centric place should not ever have to endure Random Mediocre Man implying, completely out of the blue, that he would rather be paying money to buy "consent" to have her literal arsehole on his face.

Fucking pig, why can't he just focus solely on the time meant to be spent playing with his children? Porn sick loser.

They police our bodies and actions, they think they can comment on even the most thoroughly disinterested women's bodies in even the most unsexual venues. It's not funny or flattering, when so many of them objectify and ( eitherinsidiously or outright) hate us and enjoy our discomfort.

How old were the kids?

It’s not funny. It’s sexualising a woman which is wrong anyway, in a very inappropriate setting (around kids) which to me is even more wrong, and just weird, not at all funny. A normal response would be ‘sorry/no worries/take your time/oops//i’ll move’. Why does it have to be a sex related joke to ‘break the tension’ or whatever pp are saying? Do we think a woman would have cracked this joke to another mum there? Why do we excuse these guys with haha it’s ‘banter’? Not so long ago an arse slap or boob grope was dismissed as ‘banter’ or ‘lads will be lads’ but that didn’t make it ok for the woman on the receiving end. If I had a partner who had come home laughing about the situation and reported what he’d said to another woman, I’d be disgusted. If my daughter had it said to her, I’d be disgusted. For those saying just to laugh about it, facesitting is a whole thing and can be a fetish, the joke implied him getting a free sexual service included with the entry to SOFT PLAY of all places fgs. I’m with you OP, inappropriate, pervy, and I’d have wanted him kicked out as well.

Way over the top! It was a joke, she should’ve earn more careful where she stuck her arse!

How was it demeaning?

Would it have been better if he’d made a complaint about her inappropriate face sitting that occurred because she didn’t look where she was going?

Face sitting...... You're the one adding that layer in your own head.

All 92% of them are “cool girls” …. Ok then 🤔

So many prudes on MN. Yes, it was funny and was probably an attempt to relieve the tedious boredom that softplay centres represent for most parents! I would have probably said, well I need to get my money's worth so its your turn to climb down onto me next time!

This.

“It’s just a joke” is so 1972.

It's quite funny

These are the sort of comments that I make in an awkward situation and I'm female.

I'm more interested in how the current generation flirt. Is everything considered offensive?

Christ almighty! What a time to be alive!

@Playcomment I hope you never join my gym, we have a great laugh, we’re all ages and genders and nobody is ever this uptight