AIBU to expect vegan guests to avoid preaching at shared meals?

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I’m a flexitarian. Meaning I have a mostly plant focused diet. But if invited to, say, a work event or a wedding or to dinner at my oldest friend’s parents house, I’ll eat a lot of salad, potatoes, and bread. Maybe even a bit of their chicken or beef roast to not cause offense or awkwardness. So, that’s my choice. I have long term dear friends who are vegans. I respect that. But I want them to contribute an appropriate dish to share with everyone if it’s that’s so important to them. That said, I think they should just eat and shut up. Do what works for them and leave other people alone. Judging and preaching at
your host and other people is bad manners. No matter how passionate you are, there’s no need for that. You don’t persuade people by bullying them. Am I wrong?

I'm not having a go - I'm genuinely interested in your answer.

We do know that eating animals is murdering animals, and that it's very bad for the environment, and I'm interested in how people un-see this when there is another option.

As an aside, being 'had a go at' is such a minute inconvenience in the context of what is being had a go about. I'm always embarrassed for those who use this rhetorical device.

Or just doesn't delve too deeply. For example, I suspect I've had soup with meat stock on occasion.

Though I did send one back one time when I ordered a vegetable soup which had ham floating around in it!

You've hit the nail on the head Bringing.
It's part of being vegan isn't it..thou must preach and bore the tits off people with your vegan views

I have vegan friends, I have veggie friends, I eat meat on occasions. I've never had anyone criticise my food choices. If anyone "preached" their choice of diet, I would just distance myself from them. Can't be bothered with judgemental behaviour.

I've only once debated with a meat-eater in person and they started the discussion themselves.

I think meat-eaters construct these tropes/jokes because they know that their position is very hard to defend. It conflicts with their self-image as a decent, moral person, and makes them deeply uncomfortable. So they frame 'preachiness' as a worse crime than animal cruelty and helping to destroy the planet.

It's like being accused of murder and making a counter-accusation of 'your mum'. It's such an underpowered 'crime' in comparison with that of which they feel accused that it's (almost) laughable.

Eating animals is not inherently bad for the environment.

It's the global over consumption that is driving the environmental issues.

I genuinely believe we should eat meat, just not every meal every day! You just have to look on the threads on here about vegetarian weddings and how people kick off that there's no meat for one meal in one day of their entire life. It seems that some people think they should have meat every single meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner. And they can't comprehend meals without meat being perfectly fine!

What I found an interesting watch is the TV series a few years ago called back home in time for tea or similar. And it was very striking that in the 20s, for example, they had one rasher of bacon to share between the whole family for a meal. And these days, people think you're being tight if you only put two in a sandwich.

Ok.... So they're still contributing to it?

Of they want to be preachy, they should be prepared to be preached back at, just because they think they're right, doesn't mean they are right and vice versa.

We're all allowed different opinions,and nobody should be telling anyone what they should and shouldn't be eating.

I did - sorry

Honestly, do either of you know anyone whose vegan? Believe it or not, we don't spend our days 'preaching'. FFS

Plant-based food sources such as tofu generally have a much lower carbon footprint than meat. That doesn't mean the footprint is zero. I doubt it would be possible to live life without having any environmental impact at all.

I took this graph from a United Nations food and climate change report (note - I think soy would fall into the legumes c category):

The report is here if you want to check the source: https://www.un.org/en/climatechange/science/climate-issues/food

People who adopt a vegan diet due to environmental concerns are taking a sensible approach to reducing their carbon footprint, I don't see how that's hypercritical. And besides which, some vegans choose to be vegan for other reasons.

Oh for some reason my image wasn't included!

And also utter bollocks @AmazingGreatAunt

That might be because of the countless times all the vegan food has been eaten before the vegan gets to the food since there is usually less of it. I now take my lunch to catered work events because after a few people ask 'can I ask you just one question etc' and by the time I get to the buffet there is nothing left for me but a growling stomach for the rest of the day. So I just bring my own to avoid being hungry. Social events are usually better. But flexitarian is simply an omnivore, its not a 'diet' per se, its just a pretentious word for it. I certainly don't preach, but non vegans do take offence at my existence.

I always put myself down for the veggie options and will eat what I like and what's fits with my conscience not what.yoy think I should ir should not eat. I haven't eaten a meat burger itme meat sausage for over 50 years and won't be doing so now to please anyone

But it isn't a definitive word is it. So I invite someone to dinner and ask about dietary requirements. Flexitarian so what does that mean? You eat fish on a Friday a roast on Sunday and vegetarian the rest of the time? You eat meat all week apart from no meat Monday? You are vegan in January?

Indeed it is difficult, which is why people shouldn't be preaching, because nobody is perfect.

I know one of two matters is off topic. But I find many vegetarians (not all, but a large no). Say replying to a person's post preaching to the world.

But I also find Trans people trying to ram their trans ideology/vision of their sexes down our throats. No, we are the sexes we are born with - manipulating bodies with wasted NHS money that should be better used for proper medical needs! No neither party vegetarians or Trans people will ever win me around to their twisted ideology! I turn off from those preaching to the world!

Whenever I go to a work thing, lots of the men moan that there's no meat, it's kind of hilarious actually, like they think if they eat one meatless buffet they'll keel over.

I don't like people who preach to others either and generally I don't give a fig what other people are eating.

But just because you can't eliminate your carbon footprint entirely doesn't mean you shouldn't try to reduce it. That argument doesn't make any sense to me.

some people really are weird about meat

they think a meal isn’t a meal without it

they panic about protein

they buy the cheapest meat possible with little regard for animal welfare

they are openly hostile towards vegetarians/vegans - see other thread regarding sharing utensils with vegan food

very odd

Exactly, and it wouldn't make sense to label food as flexitarian on a menu either, the whole menu would be labelled!

The vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian etc labels exist so that people know what items/meals they can and can't eat. A flexitarian label would be totally pointless. If you people want to talk to each other about how much meat they eat, how they're trying to cut down on dairy consumption etc, they can do that without labels.

Well - I totally agree, no item on a menu should be labelled 'flexitarian' as that would be confusing and maybe meaningless. But that doesn't mean that a person can't be described or describe themselves as flexitarian. That would be meaningful and describe something about their eating patterns.
I also think that a flexitarian probably wouldn't reply to a dinner invite with 'oh I'm flexitarian' because the person hosting the dinner party doesn't need to know that - part of the point of being flexitarian is presumably that you can just eat anything when it's easiest socially.
But when people are talking to each other out of interest about their eating patterns, or perhaps arranging cooking plans in a flat share, or starting a thread about eating patterns etc, then I don't see the problem with describing someone as flexitarian?!
Just in this one page there have been several criticisms of the term - it's 'pretentious', and 'pointless'. And people are told that if they want to talk about eating patterns they should do so without labels. It's just an interesting level of rejection of a word... it's coming in for a lot of ridicule and criticism. And I'm wondering why. For people who feel angry or disapproving when they hear the word 'flexitarian' - what do you think the feeling is all about? Is it about identity I'm wondering?

I could do this I other ways, by not flying, not driving etc.
No one method is the best /right one.

Oh they do suddenly care about animal welfare when they know it's halal meat for some reason that's definitely absolutely and certainly not to do with racism 🤔🤔🤔

I'm vegan, have never spontaneously 'preached' in my life, and have never heard anyone else do it either - it's invariably the meat eaters that raise the issue. I will, however, answer the same tedious questions that are asked without bloody fail, or respond to the usual comments:

How do you get your protein?
What do you eat?
What would happen to all the cows if we all went vegan?
Why are you vegan?
Do you eat fish or chicken?
What about ham?
I couldn't go vegan, me, I love my sausages too much