AIBU to expect vegan guests to avoid preaching at shared meals?

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I’m a flexitarian. Meaning I have a mostly plant focused diet. But if invited to, say, a work event or a wedding or to dinner at my oldest friend’s parents house, I’ll eat a lot of salad, potatoes, and bread. Maybe even a bit of their chicken or beef roast to not cause offense or awkwardness. So, that’s my choice. I have long term dear friends who are vegans. I respect that. But I want them to contribute an appropriate dish to share with everyone if it’s that’s so important to them. That said, I think they should just eat and shut up. Do what works for them and leave other people alone. Judging and preaching at
your host and other people is bad manners. No matter how passionate you are, there’s no need for that. You don’t persuade people by bullying them. Am I wrong?

This is the sort of thing vegans have to put up with.
A healthy vegan diet is linked to longevity, with a 15% reduction in mortality from all causes.
In fairness, this is arguably down to what we add in, higher fibre overall because we have more room if we're not filling ourselves up on meat and dairy, and plant based proteins, as much as what we take out. But it certainly gives lie to the statement our bodies cannot exist on plants alone. We can and we do.
The answer is a 'happy medium' only if you want the easy route to health. As it's without doubt easier to consume all the required nutritrients if you are prepared to add in some fish to your plant based diet.
But some people don't want to do that because they don't want to exploit animals and are prepared to work a little harder to get what they need from plants alone.
Why is that such a problem for you?

How can you tell that someone is a thick, bigoted carnivore?

You don't need to worry, they can't wait to tell you by repeating the oh so witty "How can you tell someone is vegan? You don't need to worry, they'll tell you!!"

They think they are so original and funny as well.

I do eat meat BTW.

Vitamin B12 is the only nutrient not found in a plant based diet.

Vitamin B12 is made by micro-organisms and is not produced by plants. Fortified foods and supplements are the only reliable sources of vitamin B12 for vegans. Be suspicious of any claims that this vitamin can be derived from plants.

From the Vegan Society web page.

You are probably getting your B12 from fortified foods such as plant milks, cereal or nutritional yeast.

My B12 levels were normal

A lot of vegan milks / cheeses and yogurt have B12 added - must be more than sufficient as I was fine 🤘

Can you explain what the preaching was like and what was said? I’ve never actually witnessed a vegan preach to anyone and I’ve known and been around quite a few. People always refer to vegans preaching but I’m yet to see it? Has anyone else seen this happen?
ETA: referring to in person encounters, not online where everyone is on the soap box

Sorry. I have just edited my post to say about fortified foods. There is a podcast on the Vegan Society page about B12 following the death of a vegan who didn't consume any B12 at all.

Hahhaaa haha you have clearly not met the preachy vegans among us. ‘Well if you’re ok with murdering animals and destroying the planet, I’m sure it tastes nice.’
a family member so no one is uninviting her, but it’s hard work!

I didn’t say anything about it being male or female morons. Although in my experience, it’s men who are going to try to tell I’m missing out on eating pigs

Jealous of their confidence we are not.

Yes but with family, surely you can be direct and tell them to STFU?

TBF I have. A son of a friend who is very enthusiastic, decided to have a pop at me because I took my daughter to a farm park 🤷‍♀️

I didn't engage!

So 25% end up being eaten by vegans...so they're contributing to the clearance 🤷‍♀️

I'm just saying if people are going to preach about morals and ethics they probably shouldn't be throwing stones.

That's fine, no need to apologise.

Ohh I eat a lot of nooch yeast so that could be it!

No not the next generation up. They’d have to be more directly insulting rather than just very very wearing in their single mindedness. Some neurodiversity. My generation now…

Has anyone noticed that there seems to be a common denominator among the posters on this thread that keep trotting out the garbage of vegans always announcing they are vegan?

I suspect they tend to be the goady sort who eat a limited diet and can't think outside the meat and 2 veg box (if they even eat vegetables, that is)

It's that kind of mental gymnastics to avoid realising you're the problem that pisses people off.

ARE you ok with murdering animals and destroying the planet?

Just out of interest.

Ad why do people invite others round for a meal and are then not prepared to host them properly by giving them vegetarian or vegan foods if they require it? Just why?

It isn't difficult.

Not solely by Vegans... Soy products are extremely common in Asian cultures.

Do I? Am I? I love veg. And lentils, I cook an awesome basil chili lentil dish. I’ve just found a choc muffin recipe with zucchini and cannellini beans to try on my dc.

"I’ve just found a choc muffin recipe with zucchini and cannellini beans to try on my dc."

That reminds me of one of the characters in The Vicar of Dibley (Letitia Cropley) 😁

I’m ok with eating meat. I’d like to pay for better meat more consistently but 3dc and cost of living. We grow some fruit and veg. We don’t eat meat every meal. I pay for a collect textile recycling service for clothes too worn to donate, and spend a lot of time I dont have trying to recycle things rather than bin them.
we get a fruit and veggie delivery that reduces plastic and landfill. We are trying, like many. While we bring up 3 active dc who eat all day long and play sports all weekend and every night. But you do you and carry on having a go at people.

When I was in a hostel making some dinner I found myself in the company of THREE other vegans. I was delighted! Ten minutes into the conversation it transpired one ate chocolate, one ate yoghurt and cheese and the other ate fish.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say "See lads, this is why people don't like us"

Ok, so the thread's op went weird, but I still want to come on to say that I'm grateful to my vegan friends and colleagues. One was militant, and although it made me uncomfortable, I did learn some things that I'm glad to know. Another one is very gentle about it, and again I've learned some things in very glad to know. Over the years, partly because of their and my vegetarian friend's input, my diet had changed massively and I'm glad for that.

I agree that "flexitarian" is a pointless phrase. "Omnivore" and "meat eater" are already very broad, inclusive terms. Very few people eat a genuinely carnivorous diet. I only drink alcohol about once a month, but I wouldn't call myself a "flexitotaller".