AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

[Slv199]

I was with my exH for over 20 years and I’ve not had many sexual partners. I’m not sure about “condom etiquette” and it’s something not talked about.

My exH would always take the condom off and throw it in the bathroom bin. This is what I expect.

I’ve found my new partner just leaves it in the bed, which is gross and I worry my kids might find them. On other occasions I’ve found them inside me the next time I’ve gone to the loo. Which obviously leaves me worried I might get pregnant.

As I don’t have much experience I wondered what others think. AIBU to expect him to put the condom in the bin? Or at least tell me where he left it and definitely not leave it inside me!

Leaves them inside you?? I’d be worried about the possible pregnancy risk at that too, I’d consider that assault

Thats fucking gross. A dumpable offence if ever I heard of one.

So you can fuck him but not have this convo with him? Is he trying to stealth you?

This is definitely not normal and something he would mention surely.

You would be unreasonable to stay in a relationship with this man!

Crikey, dump him

As others have said. Look up stealthing. That’s not ok. You need to have a harsh conversation with him.

Sorry, but what do you mean, you find them inside you or in the bed?
When you finish, and you dont see him take it off and tie a knot in it, arent you just naturally curious in the moment and say 'have you sorted the condom?' Im a bit worried for you, are you only having sex heavily intoxicated so you arent paying attention to whats going on or something?

Shocking. This man needs to be thrown in the bin. Leaving them in your bed is disgusting. Leaving them INSIDE you? Unthinkably awful. Get rid.

That's disgusting. Total lack of courtesy towards you. You deserve better.

If the condoms are coming off then they are the wrong size for him- either too big or small- and yes not disposing them is gross

This isn’t normal.

You should do these things, quickly-

1. Dump him
2. Get tested for STDs

Thats so grim...🤢

You need to do a pregnancy test and have an STI screen ASAP.

Oh and get a new boyfriend!

I can't for the life of me understand why you wouldn't just immediately say- 'Oi! Where's the condom? You haven't left it in the bed have you? Actually... no really, where is it? You've 'left it inside me?' You absolute dickhead- did you secretly want to get me pregnant? Dispose properly of your condom every single time please or I'm going to assume you've the mental maturity of a stupid 16 year old and stop fucking you immediately' then mutter 'unfuckingbelieveable' repeatedly to yourself under your breath but also firmly within earshot of this idiot.

Gross

This is disgusting op 😡 he belongs in the bin, what a horrible thing to happen Jesus.

Leaving it inside is delibrate, otherwise there would be a convo of "I think its slipped off" dump him and go get a full screening

As others have said, the fact you can’t address this with him means he is not the man for you.

The fact he is doing this at all means he’s not the man for anyone, btw. It’s so far outside the realms of normal behaviour it’s completely impossible he’s unaware.

He’s doing it out of disrespect (best case scenario) or for an actively manipulative reason such as to try and get you pregnant or harm your relationship with your kids (worst case scenario).

I don’t understand how he could leave it inside you? Isn’t the point of a condom that it stays on the whole time so should come out when his penis comes out?

In the bed is also gross and totally unnecessary because presumably he goes and cleans off afterwards so why not take it with him?!

He sounds dirty and vile honestly. Have you been to his place? Does he do the same there? Does he have a messy house generally?

That’s disgusting. Get rid of him.

In writing this post @Slv199 im assuming you’ve got the terminal ICK for this guy?

if not, why the fuck not?

HE IS REVOLTING 🤢

Inside you?? More than once?? And his response wasn’t “oh fuck the condoms come off”?

I wouldn’t ever be having sex with him again.

You need sexual health screening and a pregnancy test. Oh, and dump your boyfriend, he's not a good man.

He is wearing the wrong size and you are not protected. He is putting his ego above your safety. Get an STD and pregnancy test and dump the bastard.

Indeed. How can you have sex with someone but not be able to talk about it? Something sounds very wrong with your relationship.

Sorry but how does this happen (repeatedly) without you knowing??

I had this happen once with someone I was sleeping with but we were both so drunk I put it down to that. I would definitely realise generally!

As others have said, get rid of this one. He is at best disgusting and at worse abusive.