AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

I dont think you are unreasonable.
Its not a lot to to for someone ensure they can eat their meal.

In future maybe just dont share they can't do something as simple as use separate utensils.

YANBU. Would they have been more considerate if it was an allergy issue.

What selfish people.

Next time don't share.

It is an absolutely normal, fair, and easy request and you made it up front and very politely; it's not like you kept silent and then yelled at them for mixing after they did it. Even if it had somehow been unusual or surprising to them how could it possibly have ruined THEIR evening? They weren't the ones at risk of having their food made inedible for them. It's especially weird and antisocial for them to go after you like that when they're guests in your house.

I wouldn't host them again, or if you absolutely must make sure there is ONLY vegan food available.

Precious? Do you understand why using utensils with meat on them is offensive and completely inappropriate. I'd order my own veg dishes, put them on my plate and if the meatiest want to try some id leave a bit behind in the dish or they can order veg side dishes for themselves

Sorry but I do think you were a bit over the top. It's not like any additional animals died. No extra animals suffered because you used someone's spoon to share out some dahl.

Just to use a different fucking spoon? Are you taking the piss?

WTF?
Who mixes serving spoons anyway?

YANBU

Let's not even mention allergies......of which i have none as a happy meat/animal product earing person!

Im not vegan or veggie and would have zero problem with using separate utensils, I can’t see why it’s an issue at all, they were being very rude.

God, meat eaters can be right twunts 🙄

It’s not about that. I don’t want to eat animal products and it was easy for them to make sure I didn’t have to and still share the food. I wasn’t asking the to do anything difficult or time consuming, just use a different fork.

I'm not vegan, vegetarian or have any allergies but i wouldn't want utensils been shared across dishes, especially dishes with sauces. A spoon goes in each dish.

I'm of the mind of why should you give any of yours up when you can't have anyone else's?

I can't stand the taste of everything crowd though. Gets on me tit ends a bit

How annoying having people at the table asking to eat some of your dinner! Vegan or not!! YANBU tell them next time to back the F off with your food!!

Yeah any normal person would be fine with that OP

It’s manky to cross contaminate utensils between different dishes regardless of dietary preferences! I’m guess they’re the sort who don’t believe in food allergies either?

OMG you PAID for the takeaway and they treat you like this?
I would sequester all vegan food and only give it to them on request!
Ignorant people!

But presumably you don't want to eat meat for moral reasons. Well there's no extra meat involved so it's no different to share the spoon. Morally you've done nothing wrong in using a spoon having meat traces on it and neither have they.

I'm veggie and I don't share unless I've finished. Then its fair game.

Each dish has it’s own serving spoon surely? You don’t want people using the fork they’ve put in their mouth in the dish, and even between dishes that are both meat there are different sauces. It’s really not hard to keep things separate.

Hopefully they will be paying for the next takeaway?

Oh my god. If there was human flesh in it would you eat it? Would you want your spoon in it? No.

im trying to help you understand how gross it is to eat flesh when you haven’t forever

@HedgehogsOnTheWallwell you wouldn’t be able to eyeroll in this house shared utensils (well actually food at all) don’t happen because you could land 2 of us In A&E at best. We have one sulfite allergy, one vegan and one vegetarian plus DH who eats anything. We also don’t do buffets, hotel breakfasts or even restaurants because people can’t be trusted to understand basic principles of hygiene and cross contamination. I once almost died because the “vegan” soup at a work event on the mainland (the only vegetarian option all day) had been made with chicken stock but she thought it would be fine and nobody would know.
It doesn’t matter why someone is vegan, vegetarian or chooses to identify as a pink elephant if they ask for something to be done there’s no reason to be snarky. Op my Dd1 is vegan and I have noticed that people bend over backwards to sympathise with Dd2 having a sulfite allergy, they think I have made up my condition which has led to me being a strict vegetarian (and other foods) and avoiding even skin contact with many animal products. Mention Dd2 is vegan and people become almost aggressive about her choice and try to shove meat and dairy consumption in her face, the word vegan seems to trigger folk.

Really, you think not wanting meaty sauce/fat in your vegan food is a bit OTT? What about forks/spoons folks have had in their mouths, would you be ok with that in your meal? I wouldn't.

Just use a clean spoon, how hard is that.

Yeah definitely just keep your food separate next time and say sorry but I'm not being involved in the sharing as I can't share any of the other dishes. Then if they whinge - I made a simple polite request last time and you were very rude about it, I didn't want to argue again about that, and I certainly don't want to argue about what I do with my own food. As PPs have said using people's own forks is disgusting behaviour anyway meat or not. But certainly when you have a vegetarian/vegan involved.

They see the issue in the same way as if you only dislike their food, or perhaps you have a food intolerance to something.

They don't understand it is an ethical issue, so they think you are making a fuss about nothing.

The answer is to eat all your food, and not offer them any, or serve it to them yourself.