AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

Totally agree. There are some real twats on here.

She wasn’t lecturing them, she was asking them not to contaminate her food. Sounds like you’d be as dickish as her relatives.

YANBU @TakeawayRow . My extended family have spent the last 30 years taking the piss out of my vegetarianism so I feel you. Just don’t let them try your stuff and rember to do the “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!” Line and stab them in the back of the hand with a (non vegan) fork when they reach for your dish.

I'm a meat eater but two of my children are vegetarian and a third is vegan. It isn't "smug" to say what you will and will not eat; nor does it constitute lecturing. Vegans and vegetarians have been tarred with this nonsense for too long, usually by people who can't stand anyone who is different to them. I'm afraid you would not be welcome in my home.

I'm not here to debate veganism, as I've already done that today and it's draining. My point here is despite disagreeing with it, I don't act like this around people who are vegan when they are otherwise minding their business and being civilised because it is sad. I respect their right to choose what to eat, as is the case for everybody. If I was OP I would not socialise with such people again.

Well... I won't debate it with you. I just wondered what there is to "oppose"? 🤔🤔

Nah I don’t think you’re precious. I wouldn’t share with those folks again.

I have allergies and actually do demand separate utensils if taking some of my food. I will dish it up for people usually to be 100% sure. I’d treat vegan or vegetarian food the same.

Exactly. I’m coeliac and react to literally trace amounts of gluten. Shared cutlery, fingers, spreads, toasters etc genuinely make me ill but the amount of people who just don’t think or respect that is mind blowing.

What difference does it make to a meat eater to just use a different fork or spoon? Absolutely none 🙄

It's unhealthy, in a nutshell. I know you will want to elaborate on how it can be healthy, that's fine. Again, not here to debate. Cannot believe there are so many people here being such a prick to OP because of this, though. Reading through the comments and it's just shocking tbh. Or maybe not, since this is MN.

How twatty.

YANBU. I had to take issue with DH recently because he accidentally put sliced meat on my plate instead of his and thought taking it off would be good enough. It’s hard to explain why it matters but it does. Oddly, I can cope with the idea of eating animal products by accident after the event, but once I know, not a chance.

Nobody can genuinely be this self absorbed, surely?

There's been a lot of odd comments here! OP did nothing wrong, wanting to keep her vegan food vegan is perfectly normal

How is asking you not to dip your spoon on their dahl a “lecture”?

Yeah just get your own dish

That's gross, to stick your own fork in someone else's food 🤮

I'm like James Corden in Gavin and Stacey, I order what I want to eat and I don't want to share! Most of the time Indian is too spicy for me, I only order mild dishes, so no, I don't want to try your beef Madras!

Sadly I’ve spent enough time on Mumsnet to know that they can.

This is a really unpleasant way to treat you. I'm vegan and none of my family or friends would dream of making me uncomfortable around food. It actually sounds a bit spiteful. Are they like that in other ways?

You sound a delight.

Are you always this inconsiderate, uneducated, selfish and socially unaware with people?

If I was vegan because I didn’t want to eat meat I’d be ok with it, I eat a lot of vegan food due to it not containing dairy, so I’d be annoyed as they could contaminate my food and I would be very ill due to dairy allergies

Never mind that it's no problem to use different serving utensils for meat and veg dishes, if anyone started using their dirty fork to dip into meals that were for sharing I'd be rapping their knuckles with a big spoon!
Just be a bit firmer or dish everything up and don't let people do it themselves, next time. If they don't like it, well tough titty.

You know you are not being unreasonable. Your family members know that too.
If they are anything like the ones in my family, then this is just their latest excuse to pick on you and belittle you. Maybr just think about your whole relationship with them.

Surely you can understand that as a vegsn the Op doesnt want to eat animal products at all?
Im a meat lover and i get it it
OP Joey doesnt share food!

They are totally unreasonable and inconsiderate OP. I'm not a vegan. It's shit behaviour.

I eat dairy/glutenfree.
I don't share buffet style as people in general don't respect crosscontamination.
And I don't want other peoples food anyway.
So no thank you - my food.

But your not vegan and the Op is and isnt ok with it.