AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

I agree with OP and I would also have found it pretty disgusting for people to be using their own forks in shared dishes of any sort. Use utensils to dish out your food, then eat it with your own fork. My husband Is vegetarian and we always use separate utensils for meat and his food. Basic manners.

Veganism and vegetarianism can be dietary preferences for health or weight-loss reasons. However, most vegans adopt a vegan diet for ethical reasons and should be respected not mocked.

If the majority of people adopted a vegan diet, experts estimate it could reduce food-related greenhouse gas emissions by roughly 70% and free up about 75% of current agricultural land, allowing forests to regenerate and helping to restore biodiversity.

A widespread transition to veganism offers clear advantages for the environment. Most people, including myself, are too selfish to do this but I greatly respect the people who do, like OP.

How is the OP precious and OTT? She doesn’t want to eat meat and made a perfectly reasonable request. I’m a committed carnivore, but wouldn’t dream of contaminating my vegetarian friends’ food.

Biodiversity is all well and good. But humans need something to eat.

Around 70% of the UK’s land area is agricultural, but only about 1/3 is suitable for crop farming. The rest of the agricultural land consists of rough grazing and permanent grassland, which is largely unsuitable for crops due to rugged terrain, altitude, or climate.
The UK simply doesn't have the right environment to support wide-spread veganism that relies on home-grown crops. So we'd have to import huge quantities of fresh food, which has it's own massive environmental impact. Not to mention being hugely susceptible to other worldwide factors, such as war and extreme weather events.
A widespread transition to veganism in this country would be logistically near-impossible.

No lecturing, just a simple request, in her own home. Why are carnists so defensive?
Rhetorical question btw.. I think we all know why.

Again with the insults without articulating an actual argument.

DD is vegetarian and we would never use the same utensils for her food as for meat dishes
Your family are being arseholes

Same. When DD is home we usually just eat vegetarian meals but on the rare occasion when I am cooking meat or fish I am meticulous about using separate utensils and pans when cooking. It isn't difficult.

It might mean a little more washing up, but I'm not a twat.

i don’t understand. You don’t stick a fork that’s been in your mouth in a dish someone else is going to eat out of. Vegan or meat makes no difference

You won’t listen to anyone’s arguments. You just keep claiming that veganism is being “precious” and that it’s unimportant.

If people feel strongly about something they tend to come across as quite passionate. It's not smugness, I don't think. Once you really connect meat with dead animals and animals feeling fear it's hard to let that go, and they want to convince people.
But no, OP, they should understand. I feel the same if someone puts a knife with butter on it into my marmalade :) Use a clean one!

I didn’t try to convince anyone of anything. I didn’t mention dead animals or animals feeling fear of anything like that. I literally asked them not to use their forks that had been in meat dishes in the vegan dishes. No passion, smugness or anything else.

Absolutely reasonable.

I haven’t once claimed that veganism is “precious”. You would appear to be the one not listening.

You haven’t said anything worth listening to. It’s all been drivel.

The poster who apparently hasn’t read what I’ve written and misattributed me is claiming I’m the one who’s posting drivel? Not really shining here are you?

Exactly this!

They’re just arseholes who enjoyed having a reason to be arseholes. It’s what arseholes do. You can win with people like that OP. I’m sorry they treated you the way they did. They know they were in the wrong but simply found it amusing because they’re not very nice people

Yes, drivel.

No, you didn't! I agree with you. I was replying to @ilikeachallenge who mentioned vegans being smug and lecturing people about not eating meat.

This is a typical answer from someone who is completely wrong. Of course the UK could grow appropriate crops to support veganism, as the "meat industry" is inherently inefficient.

60% of the grain grown in the UK goes to animal feed. That's right - effectively 60% of the agricultural land that is devoted to growing grain ends up feeding animals who are then slaughtered for meat. Breeding, feeding, and slaughtering animals is an inherently inefficient way of producing protein.

Vertical farming.

It’s posters who can’t even get a quote right, articulate what they are supposedly criticising, or form a coherent argument about why it’s so awful who are talking drivel.

You haven’t even read what I’ve posted. You just decided I’m on the “wrong” side, mixed me up with other posters you disagreed with and made a mindless attack.

I haven’t mixed you up with anyone. I have read every post on the thread. I DO think you’re wrong, I DO mean you and I still think everything you have said is drivel!!

I have been veggie for nearly 35 years and I have never come across someone who didn’t understand my request to not put meat utensils into the vegetarian food. Your request was totally normal. Their response was totally unreasonable.