To have paid for all my newborns things?

[Greekslippers]

Just wanted opinions here!

FTM. My newborn is 12 weeks old - he is a bundle of joy. It has just dawned on me that I have bought everything for him; from sudocream, to cots, to prams - all clothes, the full works. My hormones are settling and I am starting to see things a bit clearer. I worked until 36 weeks. Professional career.

I use coffee / nicorette (ex/smoker) (!) to keep me awake during all the nights feeds as I do those too. Essentially, I asked my husband to go and buy me those two things to get me through the night shift - I noticed he had transferred £30 for it from our joint account to his account? I was like what the hell? I pointed out I had paid for everything else. Is he taking the piss?!

AIBU?

No no no. This is all wrong!
It's not 'your' maternity leave to pay for when you're caring for your (yours and his) baby. The baby is a joint expense.
The baby is also a joint responsibility in terms of care.
He is shameless and hopeless too?
What is the actual point of him?

Re read my comment. I've said to take the baby items from the joint but that I'd personally consider nicorette to be something from my personal finances not the joint. You've read it wrong.

😂😂😂

Maybe he doesn’t want to fund your nicorette addiction?! Does that sound like him? I’m not being mean it might genuinely be why! My husband got hooked on nicotine way back in secondary school and now uses Nordic spirits. I just can’t stand the fact he’s ‘addicted’ so whenever he pays for it on our joint account I just can’t stand it… although there’s no other option really! But I just don’t like the idea :(

So what is his excuse for any of this? The failure to put money into the so-called joint account, the failure to buy anything for his child, taking money out of the joint account, being out all the time, failing to do anything to look after this child?

What exactly is he contributing to your life and the baby's?

He just says he is working

As an umbrella response.

Who the fuck and why the fuck are women having babies with people under a non-joint finances “Monzo me what you owe” agreement?

JFC.

This whole thread can’t be real

All the more reason he can pay for shit! It's not as if he's good for anything else by the sound of it.

XH was like this. We divorced when ds was 9 months (I paid for all divorce costs 🙃 )

What does he pay for? Do you have a mortgage? Does he just keep his wages to himself?

You’d honestly be better off as an official single mother. Off paper, you already are anyway.

So by Joint you mean an account YOU solely pay into for him to mooch off of you? What does he contribute? Why did you marry????

She’s paid for their joint babies expenses alone and you’re lecturing her for spending £6.50 maximum on some snuss?! 💀 Beggars belief.

So he's literally good for nothing? Brings nothing, pays nothing, does nothing? What in earth persuaded you to marry this useless article?

Why would you not pay for baby's things through joint account. Surely that is literally the point of having a joint account to pay for expenses that both have. And I would invoice him for half of everything you have paid for so he can transfer that back into the joint account. The cheeky fucker. Is he acting entitled in other ways?

The joint account only has her money in it. He keeps his to himself.

wtf do you see in him @Greekslippers?

Divorce him as fast as you possibly can.

There's no actual joint account. It's OP's account, which he accesses freely to reimburse himself for anything he picks up for her.

OMG that’s terrible! Why would she share all of her money but he keeps his separate?! I’m actually lost for words! She needs to remove his access to her account asap.

Fuck that shit. Either he starts paying for half of baby stuff and life in general or he can fuck off and take him through child support

Yeah working and spending his whole pay packet on himself and not you because he has access to your money so why would he use his own 😳

By the way, when are you leaving this utter waste of breath?

What do you see in him?
From the sounds of it he is a useless father and doesn't provide anything financially for them.
Do you actually want to be with him?

Oh god @Greekslippers I had this too, when I pregnant I was constantly adding bits like nappies, wipes, clothing etc to my personal shop every week, it never dawned on me until much later that my ex never did this..we were lucky insofar as big ticket items like buggy, sleeping cot thing & car seat were bought as presents from extended family, I never challenged him over it because by then the writing was on the wall unfortunately, not because of this but it didn't help

Good luck & enjoy your gorgeous baby, time flies x