AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

[Trombolice]

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

He’s certainly made some very audacious assumptions.

But I’m a bit confused about why this wasn’t discussed in the early days of your relationship, where he would have said that he was looking to eventually set up home with someone and you would have said that you didn’t want to live with anyone in the future? Surely everyone has that ‘what are you looking for’ conversation when they meet someone new? Or when you agree that it’s an exclusive relationship, the chat about your futures together? Otherwise how do you know if your futures are compatible?

probably to fill OP's house with all his abandoned hobby clutter and junk

I voted wrong sorry!! YANBU, no way be entertaining his idea, and to suggest you’re ‘selfish’ for not sharing what is rightfully yours is ridiculous.

This would be the end of my relationship with him. I really cannot stand entitled expectations and this reeks.

Yeah, assuming that you would live together at some point isn't an issue, but without even discussing it with you , he's moved himself and his daughter in with you and changed her school.

That's not great is it? We'll never get over the confident entitlement bang average men will we?

He wants a nanny with a fanny. I'm surprised he didn't try to move in after 6 months though, this type usually does.

What a surprise. Darling daddy looks for a woman who owns a nice home that is just right for him. And then tells her he is planning on moving in. Seriously boot him out of your life.

It wont be the same man, unfortunately, there are millions of chancers

Just click the other box, it changes your vote. You can see the tick change.

Never assume, it makes an Ass out of U and me.

True colours flying at the mast.

Well he’s certainly dating you for your assets isn’t he!

Like others, the assumption isn’t criminal for a long term relationship BUT it’s the fact he’s decided without discussion and then had the audacity to sulk at you! The strop in particular is red flag. Oh to live in the heads of men who think they can simply bend the world to their every whim!

@Gillettegirl you can change your vote. Just click on YANBU and it'll change over.

Is your user name from the song MY LOVER'S GOT NO MONEY, HE'S GOT HIS @Trombolice ? 🤣

😂😂😂 Excellent!

love the expression!

Reasonable to assume living together as a possibility, not to assume.

I think it depends what you are both wanting from the relationship? If you are both young & wanting marriage & more children or if your older and already been there done that ect. Me & DH both rented separately when we ment but I wanted children & marriage so moving in together was inevitable.

it’s not fair on his child if he’s already given hints to moving into your place without discussing it should definitely be a conversation.

Omg 😂 it is from that song yes but only because it was on radio when I name changed - I never twigged how ironic it was 😂😂

I voted YANBU but i do have a however.

Just because he is in rented and has a daughter doesnt mean his life is permanently on hold until he catches you up. Maybe he would like to see a future where you do live together which in my eyes there is nothing wrong with as long as you are financially protected and he pays his way accordingly.

To shoot him down and suggest there is no way in hell he and his daughter will ever share a house with you......well dont be surprised if he considers no long term future in it.

From the look of your post you have been together 1.5yrs. If you are still together in 3 or 4 years do you not entertain the thought of living together? If so i think thats a conversation for you to be having.

Please break up with him

Bet he wants a game room.

He rents. - bingo!
You’re a home owner - bingo!

Tell him your house wants to break up with him.

Always interesting seeing the language posters use about men they're involved with. Quite the difference between 'been seeing someone for a year and a half', which keeps it on the more casual end, and 'my partner of three months' that you sometimes see at the other end. FWIW I think you're right to be cautious OP. How dare women want to have any space to themselves? They should be offering it up to any men and children who feel like using it.

He's after your house. If you continue with him and let him move in he will be asking to go on the deeds next "as it's only fair".

He's showing a few red flags including manipulation, I really hope you dump him.

Bingo you own, he rents. He’s just after free housing & babysitting. Chuck this one back.