AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

[Trombolice]

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

I think he has accidentally revealed his true colours and I would back away. It smacks of gross entitlement and I would be very wary of his intentions.

Hoping you may one day move in together is lovely but assuming it will all work to his advantage and to assume he brings his daughter without even discussing moving in together, let alone where, how or on what terms is a giant overstep.

It's calling her "selfish" for not automatically wanting to share her home and having all those"extra" rooms- a massive red flag.

Well, you'll just have to buy him a car, then!

Honestly, some women are so selfish.

Thank you! Never knew this!

This!

Oh god, get rid of these freeloaders.

I was also about to suggest Pithy's threads but I see another poster has already provided the link.

Bloody hell. You’ve too many rooms and unreasonable not to share them? What a bloody free loader, wanting to move him and his kid in.

you need to bin him off.

God yes. Rogues Gallery. Providing a service to women everywhere to dodge Colin the Cocklodger. Excellent idea.

Thinking you can move your kid in, without so much as a conversation, is batshit.

Crikey, freeloader alert !! Time to drop him like a hot potato.

He was looking forward to years of mortgage-free bliss, while you wash his pants and cook his tea.

Do the school run, cook dinner, do the hoovering, look after the daughter...

lol did you not read the op, it wasn’t he assumes they’d live together, although if I was giving hou relationship guidance I’d explain it’s best to have that conversation not just assume. There is everything wrong with demanding to move into your partners home with your kid and saying they should share it.

think it’s clear some posters on here behave the same way as this bloke, with their eye out for the free housing.

Oh God...how did these men cope before being able to scrounge off women?

I'd run.

No-one falls in love faster than a…

Thinks he’s got house signs in his eyes. Yours.

I’d be getting rid of him if this happened to me.

Came on to say this.

It’s a complete reasonable assumption
you rightly so corrected him

but I don’t think you handled it particularly well

So I take it if he moves in he’ll be responsible for taking and collecting his daughter from school as well as any social activities she plans on doing. Really sounds as if he hasn’t thought this through.

I’m in a similar position as I own my own house (small) and yes I’m dating someone but I’d have to think hard about letting someone move in. My best friend has done this with her flat and it’s going well (her boyfriend is divorced with 2 teens). Where’s the daughter’s mother in this or does he have sole custody?

I agree. And he won't see why he should have to pay rent because "you own the house".

I'm so sorry that you found another cocklodger. The follow up comments would be the final nail in the coffin for me.

Just no he is cheeky

It looks like from your OP as if he does have sole custody. So you’ll be an unofficial stepmother too.

How was she meant to handle an entitled man assuming that he's going to be living in her house she's paid for with no discussion and then calling her selfish because he's already promised his daughter it's happening and complaining she has far too big a house for just her. She bought it, she can buy as big as house as she likes
By moving in she'd become a step mother, she never agreed to that either.

Do you assume that you will move yourself and your dc into your partner’s home without discussing it?

I also rent and I’m not feeling that way.

He’s talking about changing schools without discussion.