AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

[Trombolice]

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

Also - whats the bet that after living together in your house for 2 years he'd break up with you and try and claim half your house? (obviously you'd protect yourself legally before he moved in but I bet he's the sort that would try . . . )

Novice cocklodger (failed)

Wow, what a cheeky fucker! Not only does he have the nerve to think they'll be moving in with you without discussion, but then gets in a strop and calls you selfish when it doesn't look like things are going to go his way?!

Its probably a discussion that should have happened earlier in the day, but people can't just assume things! I'd also be questioning his motives. If he'd got the wrong end of the stick and been really embarrassed about it, that would have been different, but his reaction speaks volumes, I think.

He's an aspirant cocklodger and OP has most definitely dodged a bullet, but I'm another one who is flummoxed that this hasn't come up sooner. I've been seeing someone for three months, so much less time than the OP and CL, and we had this conversation within a couple of weeks. I won't blend families, which means I won't cohabit while either of us has children living at home, and he never wants to remarry. Both completely reasonable deal-breakers which we have made clear upfront so that we don't waste anyone's time.

I would think after 18 months you'd have discussed what your future looks like but you've clearly dodged a dodgy one- I can't believe the things he's said, calling you selfish and what about his daughter etc! She's his responsibility not yours!

I reckon he's the sort to only break up if he had another woman to move on to (and move in with)
I think if he was unable to find that, he would likely be the sort to make himself comfortable in OPs house and avoid breaking up even if the relationship was miserable. After all if he lost the relationship, he'd have to go back to being financially responsible for himself and parenting his daughter alone. I think if op threatened to break up with him when he'd move in there would be an awful lot of 'so you're going to make me and my daughter homeless, she moved schools for you, how could you do this to us!?' etc

The cheek! How dare you refuse his very generous offer to move himself and his kid into your house. Let him have a strop...all the way back to his own home. I hope he's now your Ex.

The MRAs would get hysterical. They are already upset about the Facebook groups where you can ask if anyone else is dating the same man as you or exchanging information about abusive men.

Apparently it is very abusive towards the men in question when women warn other women about them. It makes it more difficult for them to find another victim, the poor diddums.

What a cheeky entitled twat.

Please dump him.

Wow! He called you selfish?!?? He is the one being selfish! I'd tell him that too, and that he sounds like a cocklodger and he has shown his true colours. I'd be inclined to tell him you are considering calling time on the relationship now he has shown his true colours.

DUMP!

At least you know his intentions so can now stop any moving in by stealth

Bet he tries “we have to move out of our rental and I can’t find anything else can we just stay for a month or two until I get something sorted”

And you will end up having to evict him and be responsible for his belongings for a month.

He was the one who stated that her house is bigger than his.

"I thought I'd moved in"? Cheeky bastard!

It's like you're not quite capable of understanding the general point I'm making about people who rent - not this specific bloke - and the opinions on this thread about them.

These men are so predictable. He's already mentally moving him and his DD in, you'd be doing all his childcare whilst he goes to football/gym after work and a cook and cleaner to boot. Any objection to the above and you are selfish and not valuing him. You see this all the time on the step board.

So you've never spoke about moving in together yet you are the selfish one?

Sorry this would give me the ick and that would be it.

Unbelievable! -laugh emoji sooooooo badly needed here?😂
& Doesnt his DD have a living mother????

What an absolute CFing CoKLodger!

I have a close friend who has been with her partner for more than 20 years and they don’t live together. Never have and probably never will but they love each other , do lots together etc

I don't think anyone has made generalisations about people who rent
There has been comments about men specifically who see a woman with a house they own as an opportunity to cocklodge or try to make a claim on that asset. Which does happen, not that infrequently
So if you're not a man who chooses his partner based on her assets and how they could work for him and you're not trying to muscle you're way in to their home or expect them.to help raise your child without asking if theyd be comfortable with becoming a step parent, then don't worry, no-one is talking about you

His assumptions are far fetched considering (I’m guessing) you had not had this conversation before. But I also think it’s natural to think about the progression of your relationship.

Now is the time you need to sit with him about what you are wanting and what he is wanting. If you don’t want to live with anyone but still have a partner, but he wants a partner he lives with, maybe it is time to end things.

Ha ha ha

My lover's got no money he's, got his @Trombolice

Perhaps you could sing to him that his outburst has caused you to be ‘freed from desire… with your nonsense I’m petrified’ @Trombolice

This was my exact reaction to the article too!