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What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

780 replies

Magpiesinthegarden · 03/06/2026 13:51

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

OP posts:
MissRaspberryRipples · Today 17:23

Also many years ago (over 22years ago) another ex of mine when I split from him and he moved back in his mum's. I came home when he said he'd took all of his stuff and left and I found that he had emptied my fridge and cupboards of all of the food shopping I had paid for and left me with barely any food for the week-i was 3months pregnant with his child aswell. I think he literally left me with a few bits of food that he didn't like and would probably have made a few sandwiches for work -ironically it was me that had paid for the whole food shop and he had contributed nothing to it just like he left me paying all of the rent gas electric etc whilst still giving his mum over £200 out of his wages every month because she told him they couldn't afford to live without the money he paid them before he moved out

Lisbonismycity · Today 17:34

When they get married and have a child and its all smiles for the ‘gram

yellowduckieswalking · Today 17:37

complained the whole way to a christening as he doesn’t like religion (and was hung over) then announced loudly when we got there that he should leave because he was actually a catholic and this h Church of England stuff was really offensive to him.

how I laughed …

Blogswife · Today 17:40

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 03/06/2026 14:17

Took "his" lightbulbs when he moved out.

Mine took the lawnmower & the scarifier when he moved out .He didn’t have a lawn - I did !

Ladymuffins · Today 17:44

@MNHQ this thread deserves a spot in Classics!!

PetulaGordeno · Today 17:46

I can remember late 80’s my boyfriend started to dress… oddly. Think Don Johnson in Miami Vice if he’d been sniffing glue. He walked into a bar one weekend (I was there with my friend) and he had a very expensive Versace suit on. I was with him when he had bought it. He was very tall, darkish and good looking so you may think, so what?
That’s all he had on. No top on underneath and it was cut down to the waist. No shoes. Yep, nothing on his feet. And he could afford a full outfit.
I was mortified and me and my friend got out via a fire escape at the back.
I got asked about that ‘look’ so many times.

Delladuck · Today 18:25

Mizztikle · Today 16:24

Not mines but, I once overheard a man in whilst queuing in Poundland, telling his son remember that the ball he was holding was from Daddy and that his mommy hadn't paid him back the £5 he paid for the last ball he bought. The child looked about 3/4 years old. Turned my stomach, just hope she knows she's lucky to be rid of him.

I nipped into our local Morrisons to use their post office the other day

The counter is one counter,but split into two halves-one for 'normal' shopping and the post office bit

A bloke was in the queue,just in front of me (at the 'normal' counter) with two kids

One asked for a small chocolate bar and he turned and snarled 'I CANT AFFORD TO BUY YOU FUCKING CHOCOLATE AS YOUR FUCKING MOTHER TAKES ALL MY MONEY TO SPEND ON HERSELF!'

I felt so bad for that poor girl as she put it back-i noticed he could afford his tobacco and 6 pack of beer

I judged hard-fucking tosser

Tlittle · Today 18:30

He cheated on me with a work colleague after years together and got with her. Well apparently she quickly cheated on him and he was going around playing the victim about it. Karma!

Kevinbaconsrealwife · Today 18:42

Wishonastar77 · Today 08:31

Turned up on my doorstep at 7am with bewildered kids, him crying because he found out his girlfriend was having an affair and he was heart broken. He had a minimum 3 full blown affairs while we were together 🤦🏼‍♀️

Omfg !! 😳

RamsaySnowsSausage · Today 19:29

EarthSight · Yesterday 18:25

An ex of mine had a photo of himself as a laptop wallpaper. Just him. No one else.

He was dressed up as some film character (probably Batman related), on a night out which I'm presuming was Halloween, but come on!! I've done cringey things in my time but I've never had any urge to look at a photo of myself every time I open a laptop.

Haha! Mine got jealous that I had a picture of Neil Armstrong as my desktop. This one - it's when he'd just finished walking on the moon and I think it's just beautiful. He said I should have one of him on there if I was going to have anyone. I did ask if he had ever walked on the moon but he said that wasn't the point - I was idolising another man and that was disrespectful 😂

What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?
Rescuedog12 · Today 19:34

Jollyhockeystickss · 03/06/2026 17:00

Told his new girlfriend that i was fat and ugly and useless etc etc, he got said girlfriend to come to mine to drop off our daughter and i could see this woman who was very unattractive and overweight and frumpy and old so i came out into the road looking gorgeous and tanned in a little summer dress, well the look on his face he was livid, also the look on her face because shes now thinking OMG shes really attractive and if hes saying that about her and shes really attractive whats he saying about me....the look on both their faces...

What a nasty post

CruCru · Today 19:54

RamsaySnowsSausage · Today 19:29

Haha! Mine got jealous that I had a picture of Neil Armstrong as my desktop. This one - it's when he'd just finished walking on the moon and I think it's just beautiful. He said I should have one of him on there if I was going to have anyone. I did ask if he had ever walked on the moon but he said that wasn't the point - I was idolising another man and that was disrespectful 😂

Plus, wasn’t Neil Armstrong super clever and athletic? I think you have to be near superhuman to be an astronaut.

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 20:03

Delladuck · Today 18:25

I nipped into our local Morrisons to use their post office the other day

The counter is one counter,but split into two halves-one for 'normal' shopping and the post office bit

A bloke was in the queue,just in front of me (at the 'normal' counter) with two kids

One asked for a small chocolate bar and he turned and snarled 'I CANT AFFORD TO BUY YOU FUCKING CHOCOLATE AS YOUR FUCKING MOTHER TAKES ALL MY MONEY TO SPEND ON HERSELF!'

I felt so bad for that poor girl as she put it back-i noticed he could afford his tobacco and 6 pack of beer

I judged hard-fucking tosser

Its one of those situations where you want to say something or buy the poor kid the chocolate yourself, but you just know that if he will speak to his small child like that, he wouldnt think twice about having a right old go at a grown woman, and would probably mean that the wee one got even more shit from him.

Disgusting behaviour.

CruCru · Today 20:06

My ex would get into a mood (he SULKED) and, if we were going somewhere, he would make a point of walking painfully slowly. Just to make me walk super slow as well. He wasn’t a slow walker (he was a foot taller than I was), he was just a dickhead. If I just kept walking at normal speed, he would then speed right up and overtake me (with the aim of making me jog to keep up).

He also had a thing about the phone. If he rang me, he expected that I would know it was him without him having to speak through psychic abilities (mid 90s so no caller display etc). He once rang up and then was furious because a friend of my Mum’s answered (a man). He wasn’t jealous - this dude was mid fifties (ancient to me at the time) but he didn’t like the idea that someone he didn’t know was in my Mum’s house.

Anyway, the wanting me to know it was him backfired because he would ring my student flat and then, when another girl answered, would SULK and just sit there silently. He only cut it out when I said we’d had some nuisance calls and a couple of the girls had talked to the police. He admitted it months later. I wish I hadn’t mentioned it - then when the calls got traced, I’d have known it was him and had a good, sound reason to dump him.

Still, I learnt a lot - mainly to spot red flags and wankerishness.

NameChangeMay2026 · Today 20:14

CruCru · Today 20:06

My ex would get into a mood (he SULKED) and, if we were going somewhere, he would make a point of walking painfully slowly. Just to make me walk super slow as well. He wasn’t a slow walker (he was a foot taller than I was), he was just a dickhead. If I just kept walking at normal speed, he would then speed right up and overtake me (with the aim of making me jog to keep up).

He also had a thing about the phone. If he rang me, he expected that I would know it was him without him having to speak through psychic abilities (mid 90s so no caller display etc). He once rang up and then was furious because a friend of my Mum’s answered (a man). He wasn’t jealous - this dude was mid fifties (ancient to me at the time) but he didn’t like the idea that someone he didn’t know was in my Mum’s house.

Anyway, the wanting me to know it was him backfired because he would ring my student flat and then, when another girl answered, would SULK and just sit there silently. He only cut it out when I said we’d had some nuisance calls and a couple of the girls had talked to the police. He admitted it months later. I wish I hadn’t mentioned it - then when the calls got traced, I’d have known it was him and had a good, sound reason to dump him.

Still, I learnt a lot - mainly to spot red flags and wankerishness.

Omg, that reminds me of my covert narc ex, who would go silent during phone calls. So I wouldn't say anything either, and we'd both be sitting there on the phone not saying anything! I'm over half a century old, and I've never had anyone do that before or since. He was such a freakshow.

Once, we had an argument and then I went to have shower, as it was the morning. In the shower, I heard these deep, disturbing thumps/thuds. They were really loud. I genuinely thought that someone was messing about on the roof - top floor flat linked to other buildings.

Turns out it was him, doing what he called "bunny hops" on the floor.

So yeah, turned out that when he was upset, he thumped like a rabbit does when they're annoyed.

I'm just sad I didn't see it!

Edit: And also similar to the post above, mine would expect me to see through walls. He would disappear while we were out shopping and I'd gone to the loo or something, and then he'd get annoyed that I didn't know he was waiting in the stairwell. say, me having searched the shop floor.

EvieBB · Today 20:18

AlternateLook · Today 10:01

Trying too hard. I can see you're still affected by an ex. Shame. Time heals, they say...😘

You're a wierdo

NameChangeMay2026 · Today 20:19

I mean, you can't fancy a man who thumps like a rabbit when he gets upset, can you. No wonder I never wanted sex.

🐇

happyinpjs · Today 20:40

i cant believe some men . Mine did a simiular thing but he gave himself and the angles mootashes ridiculous

CruCru · Today 20:48

NameChangeMay2026 · Today 20:14

Omg, that reminds me of my covert narc ex, who would go silent during phone calls. So I wouldn't say anything either, and we'd both be sitting there on the phone not saying anything! I'm over half a century old, and I've never had anyone do that before or since. He was such a freakshow.

Once, we had an argument and then I went to have shower, as it was the morning. In the shower, I heard these deep, disturbing thumps/thuds. They were really loud. I genuinely thought that someone was messing about on the roof - top floor flat linked to other buildings.

Turns out it was him, doing what he called "bunny hops" on the floor.

So yeah, turned out that when he was upset, he thumped like a rabbit does when they're annoyed.

I'm just sad I didn't see it!

Edit: And also similar to the post above, mine would expect me to see through walls. He would disappear while we were out shopping and I'd gone to the loo or something, and then he'd get annoyed that I didn't know he was waiting in the stairwell. say, me having searched the shop floor.

Edited

Yep! I really hope younger women don’t have this sulking-over-the-phone thing. Although from what I’ve read on here, they all text each other and block each other when they’re sulky.

Delladuck · Today 20:50

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 20:03

Its one of those situations where you want to say something or buy the poor kid the chocolate yourself, but you just know that if he will speak to his small child like that, he wouldnt think twice about having a right old go at a grown woman, and would probably mean that the wee one got even more shit from him.

Disgusting behaviour.

I was desperate to buy both kids a massive chocolate bar each but as you say,he would have gone berserk at me

Ill never forget the look on that girls face as she put it back and he promptly asked for his amber leaf

It was the sheer spite of 'I give all my money to your mother'

Some people shouldn't have kids

I bet the dcs mother feels well shot of him (and I will guarantee he pays fuck all compared to what they actually cost)

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 21:01

Delladuck · Today 20:50

I was desperate to buy both kids a massive chocolate bar each but as you say,he would have gone berserk at me

Ill never forget the look on that girls face as she put it back and he promptly asked for his amber leaf

It was the sheer spite of 'I give all my money to your mother'

Some people shouldn't have kids

I bet the dcs mother feels well shot of him (and I will guarantee he pays fuck all compared to what they actually cost)

Yeah funny that, its always the ones who do everything they can to get out of paying that bang about the "fortune" they are "forced" to pay in CM.......and how all of their ex's are spending it on getting their nails and hair done!

SerendipityCat · Today 21:04

happyinpjs · Today 20:40

i cant believe some men . Mine did a simiular thing but he gave himself and the angles mootashes ridiculous

Come again?

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 21:11

SerendipityCat · Today 21:04

Come again?

gave the angels moustaches I suspect. Not everyone is good with spelling.

TheMoonIsMyFavourite · Today 21:12

Tried to argue with our DDs year 4 teacher that it was my fault that DD didn't have a packed lunch at school, on the day he took her to school.

Apparently I hadn't dropped a lunch round to his in the morning because I'm far too busy with work and if DD lived with him full time nothing would ever be forgotten again

BuntyBeaufort · Today 21:30

First date: picked up in his pretty red sports car with the top down.

We pulled up outside lovely country pub, but black clouds were gathering, so I suggested he put the roof up just in case.
But no, he refused as obviously I didn’t know what I was talking about. Two hours later pretty car full of water, wet bums all round, and me to blame for not insisting.
Second date: didn’t happen