I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

[cbr333]

I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

I’ve done another day 😁 the voice at 7.30 this evening was a whisper. It’s getting easier and I feel in control. Hope everyone else trying to abstain / reduce is doing well ❤️

Well done! - another day dry here too xx

Well done! Hope you’re feeling clear-headed and happy. I’ve just doom-scrolled for an hour on tik tok so that wasn’t the wine, it’s just a(nother) negative habit!

Clear headed yes and I played catch in the garden with my son . I wouldn’t normally have done that ! Go us !

I do need to break the doom scrolling too - I do it to self medicate almost

Well done OP ,just ignore the negative comments! You can do this.
I was similar to you about 10 years ago just finding a reason to ‘treat’ myself with young children.
It took me another few years to have the resilience to change my habits.
Now I still struggle with sleeping but feel mentally so much better. Just keep going…you can do this .X

Day 9 done ! Hope you are getting on ok too !

whoop!

I am another day down too but I’ve had a pretty rough day, not because of not drinking. Work is mentally draining at the moment (I work with bereaved people), the grind of husband being away and looking after the girls with not a moment to myself is feeling a bit hard as there are some friendship issues with one of them and they are upset. Also I feel I am being left out of my friendship group at the moment - long story and would maybe make it v clear who I am to anyone I might know reading - but I just feel quite blue ☹️

That sounds rough @cbr333

I feel like the hard days count extra, or at least they should!

That is tough … the saying “you are only as happy as your unhappiest child’ is true.

DH also away with work . I’ve had more energy in the evenings - have played catch with DS in the garden rather than doom scrolling/ drinking wine.

We are doing well! I’m aiming for three weeks - will have a party on Saturday so that will be the first test

Totally - it feels like it physically hurts when they are sad. My oldest is definitely having a pre-pubescent hormone surge, there’s a lot of emotion there.

I've got a big event this Friday so I’m going to take a can of hip pop and a bottle of San pellegrino so that I feel fancy 😂

what is your party? Do you think you could do the whole month?

Don’t worry about alcoholic or not just accept it’s a bad habit and they’re hard to crack
finda replacement liketrippp or dash drinks. Enjoy dry June!

Thr party on Saturday is a school families barbecue. I always drink in social situations - so it will be a very odd for me suspect I will be craving the Pimms .
I don’t know if I will manage a month - my mum is coming down , we have some
celebratory events including one on 28th June which would normally have champagne alongside it.
Even sports day in 2 weeks would normally be with wine for me - the truth is that I drink frequently !
So tonight - after kids sports we have pizzas ( and I might have wine/ beer) .

One hurdle at a time !

Come back and tell us how Friday goes…

Another day doooowwnnnn.

hip pop berries and cherries is a winner for me as a treat drink when I sit down to eat. I’ve started watching heated rivalry as I am in mourning for off campus!

I’ve had a better day today - I wasn’t at work so I went to an exercise class, did some batch cooking at home and got my nails done 💅🏻

Hope you’re well @olympicsrock🤞🏻❤️

Thank you. Your post really resonated with me. I try to be AF Monday to Thursday, but it's such a struggle and I get so annoyed with myself that I spend so much time thinking about alcohol. I had a lightbulb moment when I admitted to myself that I'm addicted. I don't get drunk or do anything that I regret, but one glass always leads to most of the bottle and I kick myself Saturday morning and vow to drink less next time.

Someone up thread recommended reading"The Naked Mind". I downloaded the book on kindle hoping it would help me cut down. I read the book and realised that for me I needed to stop drinking completely.

I've found it easier not drinking this week. Tonight is the first real challenge. I'm so looking forward to alcohol not ruling my life.

OP I’m being inspired by you, I cut out alcohol on doctors orders, my liver recovered so now I have alcohol free days and some days I have a drink. Now I’m drinking beer or cider rather than wine because of the lower alcohol content.

The thing is I read your posts and I’m coming to the conclusion that I should give up completely. I can do a whole month or more for dry January or Lent. As soon as I reintroduce the occasional drink it is a slippery slope. If I could manage one small beer and stick to that it would be fine. Thing is after the first one. It’s so hard not to say yes to the second. There are so many excuses to go for the first. Last night I had one - sorry two beers with the football.

lf I gave up forever I guarantee I would forget about it after about three months. Why is it so hard??

I think it’s hard because of the things we associate with alcohol - relaxing, holidays, being with friends, laughing lots (we block out the hangovers, the poor sleep and the oh god did I say something bad, embarrass myself).

This big celebration that we have coming up, im
still thinking, we’ll have rose, good food and dance. The truth is I could stop myself from drinking but in my heart I feel that it, and I, will be more fun with a glass of wine in my hand.

For me the hard part is disassociating wine from fun as that is what my brain recognises it as. If I could have a Diet Coke and feel more fun, more attractive, less inhibited then I’m sure I’d be chugging that back every weekend!

It is difficult! The main reason I've decided on sober sober is that it's easier than constantly trying to rein my drinking in and second guess myself.

I come from a drinking culture and honestly it kind of suits me but I have eventually concluded that being off it long term is the best play for me personally.

I’m having a wobble about tonight - just caught myself saying to a friend maybe it’s ok if I just have one glass tonight. There are 8 of us meeting for a fun group activity and there will be lots of wine being poured! I am purposefully driving but worried my resolve will weaken after a stressful and full-on week with work and other things and my friends saying oh go on, just one!

Stay strong, you won’t build new habits until you try. Have fun with out alcohol and show yourself that it is possible. You will have to consciously relearn responses to lots of situations.

If you friends won’t accept you for who you are without alcohol, are they real friends?

Hoping that tonight has gone well for you @cbr333 . I totally get what you mean about associating fun and alcohol. To be honest my mindset is that I find people who don’t drink at all ’boring’ and can be bored or inhibited myself at a party when sober.
I’m not sure I’m going to be ok at this barbecue either tomorrow . There is a medical reason why it is not ideal
for me to drink alcohol but it’s not absolute any more.

Will be a huge test if I can
manage .

@olympicsrocki did it! I have just got home after dropping my friend off. The feeling I have now is a bit of pride knowing that I stuck to my plan and also knowing that I’ll feel good tomorrow.

I took a lucky Saint af lager, an af gin and fever tree in a tin and a can of hip pop so it felt like fun trying different drinks. I still had the sensation of going to the fridge and pouring a nice drink, I think tap water would have been a bit rubbish.

let me know how you get on but sending you loads of positive vibes. I honestly think if you just get past that first 20 mins with the first drinks etc being poured then you’ll be grand. I liked what a pp said about playing the tape forward and thinking how you’ll feel on Sunday morning.

You've got this!

I’ll hit four years in December . Best thing I’ve ever done. Please keep going it’s honestly amazing . I have totally transformed myself