I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

[cbr333]

I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

Omg - well done ! Loving the fast forward to tomorrow idea. I wil try that .

Great work op, put that satisfaction in the bank! These wins and the good feelings are so valuable

Was just popping back in to see how OP was doing, and wanted to say you’re doing great!

Well done on sticking with your plan and yes! you should be proud of yourself! Social pressures and our drinking culture (assuming you’re in the UK) can be so tough but I’m delighted you have found some AF alternatives you enjoy and are managing the social side.

Update: a friend from last night just messaged to say she’s feeling rough today and is very jealous of my non drinking last night!

I’ve taken youngest to gymnastics this morning then we went to McDonald’s for a milkshake and there was a fade painter so she’s had a super fun morning and I feel energised and positive. I’m going to remember this feeling 😁

The easiest way is to give up altogether.

It's great to be free of it.

Not a drop at the barbecue - I also caved at the sight of whispering angel by the gallon and Pimms but hung tough. There was very little alcohol free stuff so the lesson is to take my own next time .

I thought about your next day feeling … proud of myself !

@olympicsrockYES!!! well done! The whispering angel would have significantly weakened my resolve!

when I nearly caved at the event I was at I thought of having to admit to you and the other lovely posters on this thread that I had not managed it. Really grateful to you and this thread 😁

Another post of gratitude. Got some stress in my life. Also got some beer in the fridge.

When I wake up in the morning both will still be there. This thread is really helping me work out what is going on and how to extinguish the triggers.

@Motherbear44I’m so pleased that you’re finding the thread helpful.

@cbr333 do you find that you eat worse when you drink ? I tend to snack on crisps/ nuts etc. I have gained much of the weight that I lost on Mounjaro.
I think that work related stress is at the root of my problem and also the amount of rushing around I do. Then I wasn’t sleeping and the cortisol related to this meant that I piled on weight . The wine was about numbing the stress.
Three weeks off work now and I am so much better . I need to try and identify my reasons not to drink to motivate myself. My initial motivation was about not
drinking after surgery but I’m now at 2 weeks. Another week would be good for me.

Sleeping well
not being dehydrated
skin looking younger / brighter. Anti-aging
promoting weight management
being in control not dependent
having more energy to exercise / live life more fully
Able to drive home

I have to agree that healthy eating goes out of the window after a glass of wine. If the snacks are salty then another glass is probably tempting. Something dipped in hummus could be tasty - but I have never had a feeling of “hmmm I’d love a large plate of carrot sticks” with an aperol spritz.

So I think my effort has to be put into reprogramming my brain to knowing that “a nice cup of tea” is an acceptable reward after a stressful situation.

I don’t know if I eat worse but I eat less as I feel sick and then it takes me a couple of days to feel ‘right’ again (this is if I have drunk quite a lot). But I feel bloated and I gain weight from the alcohol alone. I’ve now lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks by just not drinking - that may be water weight but my clothes feel looser!

same as you, my skin is already much improved, I’m sleeping less (don’t have the initial soporific effect) but it’s better sleep and I feel more refreshed. Also, crucially, I feel like I’m being a better mum.

Have you lost some of the weight you regained in the last few weeks? Even if you just do another week that is a month off which is great! The reset will help you to make a plan of when you will want to have alcohol free days and know you now what the benefits of not drinking feel like!

I did what a couple of pp suggested and downloaded the drink aware app. It’s been great tracking the diff days and when (if) I reintroduce wine I can set targets so I have some accountability not to slip back into daily glasses of wine.

You haven’t gone a month without alcohol and you are already planning how soon you can restart drinking and how you can justify to yourself that you have it under control.

You have done brilliantly but you are right at the start now.

@Kepler22Bim not planning when I can start drinking, in fact I was initially going to just do the month of June but I am now planning to extend that.

For me this isn’t about giving up for the rest of my life, it’s a hard reset and an opportunity to have a proper think about why I have slipped into having a drink most days. I do, however, totally understand what others have said that when you start back it’s easy to end up where you were in the first place.

im only a fortnight in, but this has been an empowering test of my will so far and I feel good about myself.

my mum died in pretty terrible circumstances when I was pregnant and i think I could easily have turned to wine had I not been growing another human being, so I know I have the ability to not drink, what I don’t know is whether I have the ability, long term, to just having a few drinks at the weekend. If I can ultimately find that balance than great, if I slip back into my previous ways then I need to face up to the fact that I need to remain sober indefinitely.

long post sorry, hope that makes sense!

that all sounds familiar op. There's a lot of it about, it seems.

I don’t think this has to be about never drinking again or else failing - totally agree about a hard reset to work
out how to do better , get more balance.
I haven’t downloaded the app but might try . I think it feels too much like a chore / having a problem to have a sobriety app but maybe i’m in denial . I have no intention of being sober long term ( at the moment ) but it’s an opportunity to see how I feel sober, explore nights out without drinking , alternative stress control mechanisms. I’m 3 lb down after 2 weeks

Half way through! Husband is back for a few days and he has been doing dry June too. He has lost 5lb - pleased for him but why does the weight always drop off men so quickly!

Just a quick update to say I’m 17 days now and it’s definitely got easier and easier. Hip pop and alcohol free G&T have been winners.

school sports day tomorrow where there is Champagne etc and I know I will be absolutely fine.

that said, I am deffo looking forward to having a glass of wine at the end of the month which isn’t ideal.

hope everyone else is doing well?

17 days and going strong here too - also getting easier. Today i managed lunchtime drinks with my booziest friend ( rhubarb drink in a can) I went to London with university friends and managed drinks in a bar ( non alcoholic
mojito ) and an Italian restaurant ( sparking water) . Interestingly I ate less too. Maybe enjoyed the food less but didn’t end up stuffed as I usually do. The bill was less too !

I think I’m looking better. 3lb down .
The question in my mind is how and when to transition back to ‘sensible drinking’ . Or not.

Maybe I could not drink alone - that would reduce by 1/3. Not drinking unless with people outside the family - that would reduce by 60% or only at weekends - reduce by 60% .

What are your plans / thoughts @cbr333 ?

wow, good on you! That’s really wonderful and I feel happy for you 😊

I will stick to no alcohol during the week is much as I’ve thought about it far, but having a clear head and being more present (and responsible) at the weekends makes me think I won’t just idly have a drink because it’s Friday or Saturday night.

annoyingly my weight is just 1lb less but I’m eating well and lots. I am 5’ 7” and 9st 2lb so I am not looking to lose weight particularly, I have a belly but that is two kids, including one caesarean! I don’t watch what I eat and although it’s full of veg it is also full of carbs - I love bread, pasta and potatoes so I can’t see the scales going down much more!

Good luck with Sports day ! I will find it tricky next week I think …
You are very slim , unbelievable !

Same height and 5 stone heavier here ( quite amazing when I put it that way ). I do think that alcohol has played a role in my weight gain.

@olympicsrockwhen my mum died I lost a lot very quickly through stress and grief - I just couldn’t eat or even swallow food. I got very thin at one point, under 8 stone so it’s been gradually going up which I am happy about and I am sure it will go up more!

Sports day was fine but this evening has been trickier - it’s such a lovely evening! Will have my kombucha instead and we’re having a barbecue.

Keep me posted on how you get on - we’ve got this!

Just tried Lucky Saint lemon lager - it was horrible! First and last purchase 🤢

We have managed 19 days now ! Well done for sports day. Whoohoo ! I tried a lovely kombucha ginger drink in a can called equinox yesterday. I quite like a lemon lager the Peroni zero one is ok.

I survived Friday night drinks in the garden - offered G and T , rose , tea or something else to my guest ( like me ) . She chose tea which made my life easy . But I did also have crisps with my soft drink with ice …

I’m planning not to drink this weekend but if we wobble , it’s ok because it’s the weekend and we’ll get back on the horse on Monday .

Be strong !

20 days done ! Tomorrow will be the magic 21 days to make or break a habit !