I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

[cbr333]

I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

I'm not interested in your conversation.

Fair enough, so no, you would react differently.

She cold turkey has done 7 days & isn't struggling with no alcohol.

she realised she was drinking too frequently/too much to be comfortable with it, so she's changed it.

your unpleasant preaching isn't helping anyone.

we can all read the posts, you were talking about driving.

but it's not relevant anyway. She's not drinking like that now.

Definitely.

Me, I don't care if it's a good wine, a good whiskey or the cheapest plonk.

her problem was never alcohol addiction it was simply an unwanted & unhealthy habit

.

Totally agree.

Well done OP! May I join you in solidarity? I have also just gone a week alcohol free having got into a similar habit for the last few months. I’ve been putting on weight as the booze has increased and snacking / crap food choices and poor sleep has increased .

I’ve got a few weeks of sick leave to reset and hadn’t made any firm plans but perhaps a June off booze is the right thing to do. Thanks for the inspiration xx PS ignore those preachy posters upthread. Some people
are killjoys . It’s about achieving moderation x

@OneThreadOnlybyN@Ayarreetthank you very much for your kindness, it’s really appreciated x

@olympicsrockThat would be wonderful, please do! I’m sorry to hear you’re on sick leave, maybe a reset would really help?

I don’t think I want to give up alcohol indefinitely, my ideal would be not to drink Monday - Thursday and then to share a bottle of wine with my husband and/or friends at the weekend. If I can do that then great, if it start slipping into my recent habit then I’ll need to have a rethink.

The irony is this is my only bad habit. I’m otherwise very fit and healthy, I don’t take drugs, don’t smoke, I love to cook and so most food is homemade and always with loads of veg and fermented foods etc. Although I do have a weekend for breaded chicken 😬

Tbh if you can do a reset and set rules for alcohol that may be better. But it takes a while.

Mine are, I will never drink alone - so only in company, and the company has to be drinking too. I only drink with people I trust.

These rules should cut your consumption and mean you are drinking socially which is better.

As someone who doesn’t drink much I find the idea of thinking about alcohol so often mind boggling. When and how much to drink etc - why are you always thinking about it?

It does sound like an issue. However it’s great you have recognised that.

If you stopped drinking regularly and did save £30 a week - I’d get the cash out or transfer it into an online saving account so you can see to adding up, that’s £1.5k a year!! That’s a small family holiday or some weekends away. I’d use it for something like that. Instead of literally weeing it away 🤣

Oh god, weeing it away, I hadn’t thought of it like that 🙈😂

I wish I didn’t think about it, it’s very annoying! My mother in law, if there is a bar of chocolate in the fridge, will talk about it and then keep going back to get squares of it until it’s gone. I’ve had chocolate go off it’s been in the fridge long. She could have an open bottle of wine in the fridge for more than a week - it wouldn’t last more than 3 days with me. I guess it’s horses for courses but my horse is a socially, medically and financially damaging horse!

The fact you are already planning on how you will go back to drinking after only a week is concerning. You need a long break from alcohol to do a complete reset, you should only restart drinking when you are no longer thinking about restarting drinking.

You need a balance of recognising your success without being too congratulatory or you can slip into thinking that as you have gone a week/fortnight/month without drinking you don’t have a problem.

@Kepler22Bthank you, yes you’re right. I think what I’m recognising is that I would like to be able to enjoy a glass of wine again, but that if I can’t do that with boundaries (eg none during the week and not at home) then I need to take another look at myself.

I'm definitely still in slightly ashamed territory although I do feel good about myself for acting on a problem and sticking to it (whilst being very aware that this is only day 8!)

From reading your comments OP, I think you’ve a problem with alcohol. I suspect you’re still thinking about when you can next have a drink, even if it is in a few weeks and even just one glass of wine or “sharing a bottle”. All seems nice and innocent.

The way you describe wine in your first post and the need to replace the alcohol with some form of imitation of an alcoholic drink would be worrying to me.

I think you’ve done really well stopping but I’d suggest you don’t set yourself a time limit and stay off it a lot longer than you are planning if not forever. Whilst you may not have been physically dependent, it doesn’t sound like you were a million miles from it. Keep going!

I would try and speak to someone about this as the craving doesn’t go away after a few nights. You need to make a hard decision and be truthful to yourself and to other people. Best of luck - you’re on the right path.

Yes I can understand that- I’d be the one eating the chocolate though 🤣
I guess it’s whether it’s alcohol for you because of the feeling we get when drinking it- or is it just the wine/taste. In which case just swap to non alcoholic. We’ve had some really nice low alcohol/no alcohol rose from
tesco before actually think it was their own brand!!

But yeah you are literally peeing it down the toilet 🤣 so move that money elsewhere so you see it building up and you can do something memory making with the kids with it instead and have a nice trip to look forward to! Those amounts over the years would be eye watering. If there’s somewhere you want to visit I’d get planning! I can’t see you then dipping into that account to buy wine - if you do then you know you’ve got real problems.

If you’re drinking 60 units of alcohol a week and have to purposely plan and work hard to achieve non drinking days then you have an alcohol use disorder. If you were not an alcoholic you would not even be thinking about this you would just stop. And if you already have an addiction then it is very hard to rewire the brain to go back to normal levels of drinking. Your drinking will eventually creep back up to drinking daily or you will negotiate with yourself to change your drinking days. Your best chance if you want to reduce your drinking is following the Sinclair method or just stop totally.

I don't do this with alcohol, but I totally get what you mean about the sweet relief of young kids finally sleeping. I do scratch around for a 'treat' for myself. This is why we don't keep crisps or chocolate at all in the house.

Do you keep it in the house? Could be worth giving it to a friend for your next get-together.

I also have this mid-day (at several points) with coffee. I'm a SAHP and the kids know if I'm in my seat with my coffee, I'm not playing, I'm resting. Just 10/15 minutes for me.

I'm trying to switch to decaf tea though because I'm wanting to drink 3 a day now, and I'm getting palpitations. Not a healthy sign (I say sitting here drinking a coffee - just the first one though!)

Hi @cbr333

I've gone through very similar journey, and am now on my second stint of sobriety. The first days and weeks I found (and others too) were a bit weird and frankly 'meh'. There wasn't a big jump for joy or massive leap in vitality and joie-de-vivre. In some ways it was a bit of a let down and something to plod through at times. The one thing that did improve quite quickly was quality of sleep and waking up feeling more refreshed. Anyway it's going to be different for everybody but that's what it was like for me.

There's a long-running series of threads with people going through or having gone through a very similar journey to you. Whether or not you join in, and whatever you decide to do in the days weeks and indeed months to come - very best wishes and good luck

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5414227-on-a-mission-to-moderate-or-absolutely-abstain-judgement-free-zone-new-thread-autumn-2025?page=20&reply=152509142&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Well done. It’s understandable you feel a bit unhappy about it but take the win and the extra concern as a sign that you should make the effort to do these alcohol free nights more often.

Half a bottle on a daily basis is enough that you’ll feel the difference in the morning when you’ve swapped it out and feel much better I think.

Kids are hard work, understandable how this can happen and I’m happy for you that you’re feeling good about taking a night off the alcohol. You’re making a good change at the right time before you have a serious problem. Onwards and upwards 💐

@BezMills100% on the ‘meh’! When I finally sit down there is a bit of ‘is that it!?’ I’m really enjoying my hip pop kombucha though and only let myself have it when I would be pouring a glass of wine.

It’s funny; I’ve found it harder to fall asleep (generally seem to be dropping off at 12.30am instead of 11.30), but it is clearly much better sleep as within 10/15 mins of waking I feel sharp. That in itself is a reason to keep going!

definitely agree with a pp that working out my end date isn’t helpful. We have a family big birthday and associated celebrations in July and I’m looking forward to those as a time to ‘enjoy’ myself but I will challenge myself on why I can’t enjoy that alcohol-free, and what exactly about it it is that I think would be better with a glass of wine in my hand.

I’m exactly the same as the OP and your advice makes me feel positive that I can get a handle on it. Thank you

'definitely agree with a pp that working out my end date isn’t helpful. We have a family big birthday and associated celebrations in July and I’m looking forward to those as a time to ‘enjoy’ myself but I will challenge myself on why I can’t enjoy that alcohol-free, and what exactly about it it is that I think would be better with a glass of wine in my hand.'

I think that's a very insightful way for you to look at it. I do think its normal to want a little treat at the end of the day. I think its just if its alcohol that's the issue.

And yes - why does enjoying yourself need to involve it? What else will you be looking forward to - dancing, a nice meal, dressing up etc? It does sound like a good idea to refocus.

Saving up the money you'd spend in a separate account is a wonderful idea, OP.

I do that now and it's paid for more than one holiday over the last three years. It's both enlightening and concerning just how much goes on booze.

Zero percent lowlander beer is lovely BTW. The blue bottle is very refreshing when it's hot.