I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

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I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

@ERthreeI have checked out the website a couple of times and have considered it but, for the moment, I’m happy with how I’m handling it. I suppose im
getting the experience of talking about what I’m doing with you lovely people instead and it’s working for me.

I don’t know about alcoholic but if you have cravings I think you’re on a slippery slope and its wise to cut down as you’re doing.

You're doing well. You HAD a habit, that's all, not an addiction to alcohol. It was a reward/a signal that it was time to relax. People have different habits, some are healthy, some are not. Alcohol is an easy one to fall into because it's 'adult' & socially acceptable.

it's difficult not to miss a habit, it doesn't mean you're addicted to the 'substance/actvity' just that there's a 'gap' in your usual routine.

I don't think you're 'bored' exactly, just there's a gap in your routine & reward system!

I am glad this is helping you and long may it continue. You are doing well and you really should be proud of yourself.💜

Have cooked a big lasagne and made some garlic bread to have later with the girls. We’ve chosen some cinema snacks and are watching The Secret Garden. Heavenly way to spend the afternoon!

Will think about the washing and dishwasher and school prep later 🙈

I was drinking over a bottle of wine a night, yet if you read some of the comments on this thread I wasn't an alcoholic as I didn't drink in the morning, and I wasn't physically addicted. One of the worst things people who have a problematic relationship with alcohol can do is ask how much other people are drinking, as it then justifies their own habit. ‘Oh it's fine, I'm only drinking half a bottle of wine, not a full bottle. I'm doing much better than them’.

My problematic drinking crept up on me, and I stopped 18 months ago and created new evening habits. I found soda water and lime pretty good as a substitute at first for having a drink in my hands, but that soon passed as well.

Keep going OP, you are doing great.

@Nothingeverlastsforeverthank you for sharing this, I have definitely been guilty of ‘oh but I don’t drink as much / frequently as x’ or ‘I just drink wine and not spirits / cocktails / shots.

I know I’m going to feel fresh going into next week which is a good feeling!

Just commenting to say I think that you’re doing the right thing, and that your children will likely notice it positively and be happier. Too many mums I know have a couple of drinks and don’t think it changes their behaviour with the kids, but they do pick up on the difference. It’s also so much better for your health and mental health. Well done!! BTW I’m not against drinking at all, but it think should be something done on holidays or occasions rather than a regular thing, when you have young children at least. When I’m 75 I’m going to start drinking every day at 5pm 😂

So you're drinking say 3 bottles of wine at the weekend and 2-3 bottles during the week, so 6 bottles of wine per week?
That's 50-60 units per week

Which is around 4 times the suggested maximum units is it not?

You've gone 1 day? You've no idea if you're physically dependant, give it 2-3 days and see if any physical symptoms develop.

However even looking for this validation is suggestive of alcoholism

I can't even imagine this, you are the only adult in charge of your young children in this scenario and you're too drunk to reliably get them to hospital in an emergency?

@Velumentaltoday is my seventh day of no alcohol.

I would say an average week would be 4 bottles of wine - 2 bottles total Monday - Friday then 1-2 bottles at the weekend depending on plans, but sometimes maybe once a month?) it would be 2-3 bottles at the weekend. Still by no means ideal but not 60 units!

I am married, no I have not done that when I have been in charge of the children by myself but I have for sure drank too much to be able to drive them myself (I don’t actually drive if I have even one drink)

So 5 bottles of wine a week. That's crazy and drunk while solely in charge of young children.

If you were drinking vodka or white lightning instead of wine and admitted you'd so much white lightening you wouldn't be able to get your kid to hospital in emergency the women on here would be suggesting someone call ss

So on weeknights, when your husband works away, and you drink half a bottle of wine. What do you do then in an emergency?

The same as people who don't drive I imagine.

You're being very judgemental & unplesant. Why?

4 bottles a week would be 40 units, if you drink half a bottle every night that's 2.5 bottles. Not 1-2.

Then a bottle a night at the weekend on average is 2 bottles. So 4-5 bottles on an average week.

40-50 units and not as a 1 off but on a 'good' week'

You can guestimate! Well done! What's your point?

Because it's wild the level of 'ah it's not so bad sure it's just a few glasses of wine', I can't imagine anyone reacting like this in real life. I genuinely don't know anyone who drinks to that level let alone while in charge fo young children.

Then comes along going 'am I maybe an alcoholic...' then is delighted to accept all the strange minimizing going on here.

It's not just about driving, it's about waking when they need you which is harder under the influence or even realizing there IS an emergency

Why are we minimizing it is my point?

No a good week would be much less than that. I did say upto half a bottle, I am not measuring it out with a pub measure! I have been totally honest on this thread (and have stated what I drink upto the max rather than editing it). J haven’t wanted people to sugar-coat things however I think you are being quite unkind.

I am just trying to make a positive change and you’re not saying anything I haven’t already thought and punished myself over.

The positive change is great, just recognize how big a problem it was and don't go back is my point. Minimizing is so dangerous

Your point is to stick the boot in and lecture.

I don’t think I have minimised and I certainly haven’t delighted in anything. There have been some strong points and criticism but they have been thoughtfully written and have been helpful in keeping going.

Why so everyone else not more shocked? Genuinely. Would you react the same if she wa having 40 units of white lightening per week?

She is being unkind, OP. You're doing great, had a lovely day with the bairns and a fresh, clear head for the new week. Keep on keeping on!