AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

[brillfrill]

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

I agree with this. From a distance and in photos, that dress still looks like a white dress. There are so many other colours to choose from- it’s bizarre!

Of all the colours in the world why have you bought your child a white dress?

Somewhere this idea that wedding guests should dress like they are heading to an evening awards dinner crept in and it's bizarre.

Totally agree, the expectation that everyone look like they're attending the Oscars, or splash out £500 on a full length dress which they will never have the occasion to wear again to look "glamorous" or "current". Most weddings I have been to have female guests in standard shift or midi dresses from the high street, not top end designer brands, people want dresses they can be comfortable in, enjoy the day, dance in, partake in the ceilidh (we are in Scotland).

I think your dress is perfect. It is a colourful floral, not white. I wouldn't put a toddler in white for a wedding because of the chance of getting food down the clothes. Something patterned might be better.

It feels like someone (either OP or her mother) not agreeing with the “no flower girl” rule and just doing it anyway 🤣🤣

@DappledThings No, I’m not odd. It’s a “casual dress down dress when you haven’t bothered to find anything better so you drag a dress you’ve had for years outvoted wardrobe” outfit. It’s not remotely special - great for a pub wedding though. I’m not suggesting this wedding is black tie (although my DDs will be) but this dress isn’t a wedding guest dress. It’s clearly an every day dress. It’s a very boring mum dress and suitable for pub, bbq, lunch out, races if you aren’t dressing up and a kids party. A wedding, if it’s reasonably smart, not really.

They didn’t specify no white on the invite, it said formal and suggested colours including pastels. So the dress is colourful it just happens to be with a white background.

My friend brought his then 5 year old to our wedding in a white dress. At no point did it occur to me I was meant to be affronted by this. Because only the incurably petty and insecure are offended by the clothes of a small child.

It’s actually new from vinted!

If in doubt, always run it past the bride!

I'm confused at the op saying this is a similar dress, then later says that the actual dress isn't floral, so honestly I'm not sure how we're meant to judge.

Secondly, it's your brothers wedding, not some random person, just message your brother with a photo of the actual dress, and say, "me and Mum have picked this out for me to wear to the wedding. And DD has a floofy white dress. But I'm now worried it's all a bit too white. Could u ask xxx what she thinks and let me know asap. No offence will be taken!"

I entirely disagree! Looks far dressier to me than any of those events and the next step up gets into evening event territory.

But neither of our opinions matter if OP likes it and is happy in it.

Not wearing white does not extend to not wearing anything with a white background. This madness of anyone being offended by a completely normal white background and coloured patterned dress is so irritating.

What about the responses to your DD’s dress @brillfrill ?

I mean you can get white dresses that don’t exude ‘flower girl’ vibes- but you just don’t do it.

Next we will be hearing ‘oh but my child has a condition which means she can ONLY wear white’. That is about average for MN.

I tried to find something that looked similar with colour ratios, not pattern

I better find her something else tbh, can someone suggest suitable options please? my DD doesn’t like pink or red

edit: with options I meant does it have to look a certain way? is it fine for it to be any colour? some people suggested pink but as I said that won’t work

The dress in the picture is fine but seeing as it’s not the dress you’re wearing… all of the advice given is irrelevant 😂 because we’re judging a dress you won’t actually be wearing.

And don’t put your DD in white.
If they’ve specified no flower girls and to choose pastel colours, Next do beautiful pastel dresses for little girls.

I'm very ignorant about clothes, but even I know it's wise to either eschew white, or check with the bride

How old is she?

Your dress is fine.

I’ve no idea why you’d want to dress your toddler in white when you don’t have to! Pick something with a pattern so the inevitable stains will be easier to hide something like this:

https://www.boden.com/products/girls-bubble-hem-dress-honeysuckle-flower-vine-g5801mul?variant=42953127559377&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_campid=20181558948&tc_adgroupid=&tc_targetid=&tc_locphys=9045991&tc_matchid=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20186121797&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_vnQBhCxARIsADcZyxI0pbGfGtES8ZByL34_EqUyJPjxwRSGjtxbxq1yQautiJvaV6uzOhkaAuseEALw_wcB

Just turned 4

I agree - that would be classed as too casual for my brothers wedding in my opinion, i would go for glam and all out for a family wedding, family weddings don't happen often

I would put the toddler in a pink / blue / lemon cardigan over the white dress or pink frilly socks or coloured shoes just to make it look less flower girly.

And agree with others, that dress is…dull and informal, I know it’s not the one you’re actually wearing though.

I’ve never had a wedding invite that specifies no white, I think it’s just a given.
Glad you’ve decided on a different colour for your daughter, she just really doesn’t need to be wearing white.

These are better - various brands from John Lewis.