AIBU to wear a white print dress to my brother’s wedding & dressing my DD in white too?

[brillfrill]

I plan to wear a white dress with a nature print on it for my brother’s wedding in August. Picked it out with DM, she thinks it’s definitely fine. The thing is my toddler DD will also be wearing a white. Do you think anyone would take offence? I’ve added a picture of a similar dress on this thread because I don’t want the actual one on here if I wear it.

Wondering what you think?

Little children can wear white to weddings.

Omg look at Princess Anne! Her dress was mostly white! People MUST have looked at the photo and thought "that woman in the yellow hat is probably the bride".

Or maybe they looked at the woman in the centre of the photo in the wedding dress, standing next to the groom.

Agreed with this. Both points.

Op I really like the dress you ended up ordering. I also like the second off the dresses you posted (butterflies) for the shape.

If you go to vinted and type in party dress age 4, there are any number of really pretty and suitable dresses that come up. I would live to be in the stage of choosing things like this again.

That's partly because she has been stuffed at the back behind almost everyone else and under much darker lighting than those at the front.

To me, what it shows is that, at that time, the 'no white' rule was not as rigid adhered to as MN believes it should be. I have never heard anyone criticising either Princess Anne or Queen Fabiola for their dress choice for that wedding.

It is not rules that are important, but basic consideration is. "Be kind", OP.

Absolutely. Be considerate to your guests and don't impose the idea on them that a tiny bit of white on them is a slight on you as the bride. Don't make being a guest difficult by demanding any uniform rules.

Be kind to yourself as the bride and chill out if you think this sort of nonsense actually impacts you. And be kind to people asking about completely acceptable and normal dresses and don't make them doubt themselves so they have to spend more money and stress to keep a non-existent standard.

I actually looked at Anne first - and I have seen that photo before.

I immediately thought it was Zara!

I feel as though you're getting it a bit backwards, framing it that the bride needs to make her wedding day 'easier' for her guests. It's her and her future DH's special day, and I think really, the guests should be wanting to make the day 'easier' and more lovely for them. Note: I say the guests should want to, not that the bride should be a demanding perfectionist.

Ultimately though, I've found it very, very simple to never wear white (or largely white things) to a wedding, so I'm not sure why it's considered such a dreadful hardship for a guest.

I think Camilla was criticised for it that day ...

If you dress you DD in white it will look like you’re making a point, even though you’re not.

Your dress is fine, and not remotely bridal. But pick literally ANY other colour for DD.

To be fair to Anne, she was sister of the groom, so arguably close to the bridal party. But then again, so is the op ...!

I think that's backwards. We made lots of decisions that were based on making the day easy and enjoyable for our guests. Just part of being a good host.

I still think any bride who is genuinely impacted in any way whatsoever by someone wearing a dress with a floral pattern on a white background has lost her mind. And the idea we should be pandering to the hypothetical upset is mad.

It's no hardship to wear a different colour if you want to but it's also no hardship to chill out about it and realise it doesn't matter in the least.

Is OP attending a royal wedding?

British Royal weddings tend to have bridesmaids dressed in white, the Kate / William wedding had Pippa dressed in what many people would call a wedding dress as maid of honour… but those are customs of a particular part of British society.

Anyhow, a certain amount of white is fine as long as the outfits isn’t bridal and is not primarily white IMO. But the bride does seem to get lost in that picture…

and the abundance of other people in white as well as the general colour composition is contributing to that.

Is OP attending a royal wedding?

British Royal weddings tend to have bridesmaids dressed in white, the Kate / William wedding had Pippa dressed in what many people would call a wedding dress… but those are customs of a particular part of British society.

Anyhow, a certain amount of white is fine as long as the outfits isn’t bridal and is not primarily white IMO. But the bride does seem to get lost in that picture…

and the abundance of other people in white as well as the general colour composition is contributing to that.

Is OP attending a royal wedding?

British Royal weddings tend to have bridesmaids dressed in white, the Kate / William wedding had Pippa dressed in what many people would call a wedding dress… but those are customs of a particular part of British society.

Anyhow, a certain amount of white is fine as long as the outfits isn’t bridal and is not primarily white IMO. But the bride does seem to get lost in that picture…

and the abundance of other people in white as well as the general colour composition is contributing to that.

Is OP attending a royal wedding?

British Royal weddings tend to have bridesmaids dressed in white, the Kate / William wedding had Pippa dressed in what many people would call a wedding dress… but those are customs of a particular part of British society.

Anyhow, a certain amount of white is fine as long as the outfits isn’t bridal and is not primarily white IMO. But the bride does seem to get lost in that picture…

and the abundance of other people in white as well as the general colour composition is contributing to that.

Is OP attending a royal wedding?

British Royal weddings tend to have bridesmaids dressed in white, the Kate / William wedding had Pippa dressed in what many people would call a wedding dress… but those are customs of a particular part of British society.

Anyhow, a certain amount of white is fine as long as the outfits isn’t bridal and is not primarily white IMO. But the bride does seem to get lost in that picture…

and the abundance of other people in white as well as the general colour composition is contributing to that.

why was my message posted repeatedly? Oh my 🙈

sorry @gindrop

Obviously you want the day to be enjoyable for guests too, but like a birthday party, a wedding day is ultimately about the person/people being celebrated, and what they want, not the guests.

For instance, I didn't have alcohol at my wedding. Many guests might have preferred it or even wanted to bring their own, but because we didn't want it there, they respected that and accepted it, and didn't bring alcohol anyway. Easy! Just like not wearing a notably white dress.

Who on this thread is the bride? OP is prospective SIL.

Yes, I was making general points. If everyone applied the "Be kind and considerate" mantra then this would remain the complete non-issue it should be. Guests would continue to not wear completely white. Brides wouldn't be miffed about a white background patterned dress. And nobody would be stressing about any of it or feeling the need to ask the internet about whether they were about to hypothetically upset a bridezilla.

So much simpler and more pleasant for everyone.

But earlier posters insisted no white for guests has been the rule ever since Queen Victoria got married in white. So I assumed royal weddings were felt to be relevant.

If nobody asked the internet- what would you do, without MN?!

I can't find anything written at the time to suggest she was. Only in recent retrospectively written pieces. She was wearing grey, not white. And if you look at the photos from the wedding itself, there are loads of people wearing white/off white dresses.

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