To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I agree with you! I am a healthy, non-smoking vegan with an active lifestyle and only eat organic fruit and veg (when available).

I also drink 2-3 glasses of wine a night.

According to Mumsnet, I am a drunk who will shortly die from protein deficiency 🙄.

We are all different aren’t we. This has never been my drinking experience. But each do “you”!

But I do get your point and maybe this is why many have a bad relationship with alcohol.

We can never really get our point fully across on SM, but people that drink and like to drink can still be responsible, mature adults that have fun with friends and family, with a glass or two. Not everyone that drinks is getting “hammered”, I laugh at that phrase, which makes me a bit judgey, I suppose.

As many have said we listen to our bodies and either stop drinking or moderate our drinking as we age.

Unfortunately some do have unhealthy relationships with alcohol as some do with cigarettes, drugs, food and many other things.

I’m from the NE, depending on who I’m talking to, I can fit into several categories. I have one friend I drink to excess with when I’m with her, we go to a certain set of pubs and people are all drinking quite heavily, but it’s all fun. I have another friend who when I see her we go to some very posh places, we probably have too much to drink but things are far less rowdy. When I’m with DH, we can go weeks without drinking and then maybe have a pint or two.

So, in my one little life I’m a binge drinker, I socially drink, I rarely drink, depending on the conversation at the time. I’m not trying to ‘fit in’, I gave all that shit up a long time ago, I just feel I’m all of those things, and none of those things. I’m not even going to expend much time thinking about it, I don’t care for the labels. The only thing I know I’m not, is teetotal.

This seems a bit contradictory. You're criticising people for being judgemental about alcohol while making assumptions about their weight and eating habits.

Why are we assuming that anyone who raises concerns about alcohol must be overweight?

BTW my BMI is 22 so does that make my concern valid?

I drank heavily as a student and on/before nights out up until I was about 30 ish. By heavily a night out was 2 bottles of wine, shots, g&t, vodka etc etc
unless I was going out I never drank at home

42 now and barely drink, I had a glass of Prosecco last month which was the first in a few years. DP is in AA so no alcohol at home

I don't think I've ever drank at home, it's always been socially only. I drank like a fish in my 20s, not much in my 30s and now I just can't be bothered most of the time, I'll have the very occasional cocktail and glass of prosecco at Christmas - a few times a year. My social circle is mixed, some people drink a bit, some very occasionally, some not at all. When we go out, I'd say about half of the drinks are alcohol-free. My teens and their friends don't drink at all, they are much more health conscious then I was at their age.

I’m not, I’m pointing out the likely hypocrisy in some posters, I very much doubt everyone is slim who is responding.

Where are all these non drinkers? I stopped drinking 4 years ago and I am yet to meet another person who doesn’t drink at all. I am early 30s

I know very few people who don’t drink at all, although I do think it is becoming more common not to drink. I rarely drink now because as a single parent to a teen, I’m always driving somewhere so not much opportunity to drink, rather than making a conscious decision not to. I have cut it out a few times in the past when trying to lose weight but found that it didn’t make a difference.

Actually I’ve just been rearranging my gin collection.

But even if some of the posters are overweight, how would that make them wrong about alcohol?

A smoker can be right about the risks of smoking and an overweight person can be right about the risks of obesity.

Why does their weight matter if what they're saying is factual.

Even if every single person raising concerns about alcohol was overweight, alcohol would still carry health risks.

It feels as though you've moved from discussing alcohol to speculating about the bodies of people you disagree with and using that as a reason to be well, really quite unkind and judgemental.

I don't think "some of the people disagreeing with me might be overweight" is quite the devastating rebuttal you seem to think it is. Its making you look like a bit of an arse actually.

No one said it made them wrong, I’m saying it makes them hypcritcal.

Yes it’s a very large amount. Also it’s not just about shaving years off life. It’s about reducing your healthy life span vs actual life span - and the UK already fares badly on this with around 20 years at the end of life spent battling chronic diseases that impact life.

I would rather spend 60-80 (or whatever I live to) able to walk, travel, garden, play with grandchildren, Volunteering than sat in a chair watching TV, possibly in pain, possibly not mobile, needing carers to feed or wash me.

The WHO disagrees - https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health

This too. Alcohol has social effects that can be powerful and damaging. I too was a hurricane… and many friends who still drink are hurricanes and don’t seem to realise it.

😂

this is a classic of the genre.

I don’t need to regularly drink large amounts to enjoy life but I do enjoy drinking.

I explicitly used the phrase “part of the tapestry of life” but you seem to be doggedly determined to sanctimoniously characterise this as some sort of moral failing.

It’s not needed, or required. But it’s something I enjoy and will continue to.

the pearl clutching on these threads is as tedious as it is hilarious

You seem to be taking as read that everyone who is teetotal or drinks moderately must be overweight, as if its an either/or scenario.

Lots of inconsistencies here: firstly there’s a world of difference between someone who has a roast on Sunday occasionally (as you refer to) and someone who is morbidly obese.

There are many levels of overweight from very slightly to life threatening and you are treating them all as being equally bad. Obviously a morbidly obese person is not well but being slightly overweight is far less dangerous for your health proportionally than heavy drinking is.

Also people who moderate alcohol intake are far more likely to also eat healthily/not smoke etc.

So this idea thar its a choice between being a binge drinker or being dangerously fat is your fixation but not really reflective of reality.

Hypocritical for what? If someone says "alcohol carries health risks" and they happen to be overweight where's the hypocrisy?

Hypocrisy would be saying "Alcohol is terrible and nobody should ever drink it" whilst secretly drinking every night.

Or, saying "everyone should maintain a perfect diet" whilst living on Jaffa cakes and sprite

Merely having an unhealthy habit of your own doesn't make you a hypocrite for acknowledging another unhealthy habit.

By that logic, nobody could comment on any health issue at all unless they lived a perfect lifestyle themselves.

Being vegan doesn’t counteract the fact that you drink 35 units a week. You may be healthy now but it may also catch up with you and no amount of avoiding animal products will change that.

Many wines aren’t vegan btw.

There's a difference between enjoying a drink and regularly drinking the amounts you describe upthread.

I also enjoy the odd drink so I'm not the sanctimonious pearl-clutcher you're trying to make me out to be, but it would never occur to me to drink multiple bottles of wine, beer and spirits in one session in the way you say you do.

I also haven't brought morality into it once - maybe if you feel so judged then that's something you need to address yourself, rather than accuse other people of things.

People who don’t drink like to tell you about it. It’s like joggers or vegans.
Other people just crack on.

The vast majority of people compromise longevity and end of life quality in myriad ways and I’m ok with my compromises.

I’m in my late 40s and I’m generally in great health.

I dont smoke, I’m slim, i wear sunscreen, i eat well (although not ten fruits and veg a day), i do cardio and weight bearing exercises.

if enjoying drinking (and not getting the 10 a day) bites me on the arse so be it. Im happy with the balance.

ironically the only health niggle i have is an old injury from a skiing accident. Would I be more mobile if i hadn’t skied, absolutely. Is the irritation of my impaired mobility outweighed by my reckless enjoyment of high risk sports absolutely!

God I so wish this were true. Going to the pub with people who drink is relentless. All you get is "come on, surely you can have one drink?" , "dont be so boring!", "come on - live a little". Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not having.

I've never heard it the other way around! eg "dont you think you've had enough Dave?" or "dont be such a lush - why are you drinking wine?"

My experience is the total opposite - it's the drinkers who bang on about it constantly and push you into having "just the one".

It’s your dogged determination to mischaracterise which is sanctimonious.

my description of enjoying good food, company and drink is characterised by you as an inability to enjoy myself without alcohol.

my reference to 7-8 glasses of wine over a long late afternoon lunch is described by you as “multiple bottles of wine, beer and spirits in one session”

All wrapped up in the condescending passive aggression of “why do you need alcohol…” and “maybe if you feel so judged then that's something you need to address yourself”. If those aren’t efforts at playing the morality police I don’t know what are 😂

anyway it’s a lovely afternoon where the am so I’m off to play tennis. Which I’ll maybe follow with a glass of rose in the clubhouse. Who knows 🤷‍♀️

I had to open the thread to see what, supposedly, MNs stance on alcohol is.

I don't really drink. In fact, I haven't had an alcoholic drink since a cruise with a friend last April. I'm certainly not opposed to alcohol, and wouldn't put "tee-total" on any paperwork. If the opportunity to have a fun cocktail with a friend arose, I'd be all for it.
Of my three closest friends I see socially... One doesn't drink at all, never has. Even as a student. And the other two are very strict about not drinking if they then have to drive. Not even having one.

Growing up, my parents were similar to me. Very occasional social drinkers. They'd share a bottle of wine at Christmas, and it would last 3 days. They might have had an occasional "half" of something if out for a meal. So a regular culture of drinking was never really shown to me.