To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I don't drink alcohol and nor do any of my friends or family. I am aware that other people do drink alcohol. I don't think either choice is unusual.

I think it just very much depends on your social circle. Im from the South West, very much working class and i'd say the people I know are very 50/50.

I used to drink most weekends before having children and now im very much a once or twice a year at events drinker. A lot of my friends are similar.

My friends that either didn't have children or their children have grown seem to drink more. Maybe its just a stage of life thing?

I don't think MN is "against" alcohol - but there are countless threads where a person's appalling and abusive behavior is exacerbated by being pissed regularly if not daily.

I'm not quite a thimbleful of wine at Christmas more like a tia maria or baileys at Christmas. But a daily drinking habit is not a good idea and I totally disapprove of drinking over the recommended amount. I drink a glass of wine probably every three or four months at the most. Drink just isn't a part of my life. And I dont like the way it affects such a lot of lives in a negative way.

I drink a bottle of wine a week or equivalent but a lot of people I know in real life these days dont drink much

Back in the 80s and 90s a lot more did drink more

I don't think there's a prevailing Mumsnet view, I've seen both sides of the coin well represented on here and I'm sure this thread will be no exception. Along with the usual disdain for anyone different.

In my circles (50+) most people have cut right back or are at least trying to.

I drink around half a bottle of wine on a Saturday night usually.
If I’m going out on a Friday night I might have a few drinks but that’s very rare . Bank hol weekends I’ll usually drink a few drinks Sunday too.
on holiday I’ll drink most nights if I feel like it and at Christmas I’ll probably drink 5 or 6 days/nights.

I know people who drink a few times a year, weekend drinkers like me and people who drink most days.

It's probably reflective of society in general. Not drinking is increasing, as is use of low alcohol/ no alcohol alternatives. You only have to look at the difference in what supermarkets are selling to confirm this.

I used to drink (occasionally but a bit bingey when I did) now I don't. I have quite a few friends / family members who also don't drink now - some as short term health stuff, some never.

Mumsnet to me seems to vary between people who want to justify what seems to me to be a lot of drinking, the "AIBU to think everyone has a glass of wine every day" (which turns out to be half a bottle plus a bit extra on special occasions), and a proportion of people who don't drink. No one much starts threads about drinking in moderation, presumably because it's not very interesting.

eh? Where gave you seen ‘must mumsnetters despise alcohol’? Never seen ‘most’ despising alcohol on here.

I think we are inbetween. DH and I usually open a bottle of wine on a Friday night. Apart from that, DH has a bottle of beer every evening and I don't routinely drink at home. I rarely have more than one glass if we go out - probably two if entertaining at home. Most of our friends are similar.

We drank more when we were younger, 60s now. My grandparents and parents drank more.

In my experience drinking changes in your 40s. I don’t despise drinking but have stopped (2years) and a lot of my friends have either stopped or significantly reduced the amount they drink. Generally peoples attitudes are changing towards alcohol.

I think alcohol usage is understated here on Mumsnet for sure, possibly due to stages of life (pregnancy, babies, small children) and quite a few over 50s for whom alcohol impacts sleep and general wellbeing.

I’m not really a drinker, just because I don’t really see the point of drinking for no reason, but if we’re out for a meal and I’m not driving I’ll have a few, or if out for a night or occasional I’ll probably be absolutely plastered.

But yes, a lot of people I know will regularly have “just because” drinks. Either at home or out, and not a skin full but 2/3 drinks. I’ve always felt like the odd one out for not doing so.

The things people say online don’t give an accurate picture of what’s actually happening in the world.
The increasing amount of data on the short and long term negative effects of alcohol mean that people who are drinking more than the recommended max of 14 units a week are probably not going to be bursting into print on Mumsnet disclosing that. For a whole variety of reasons - not least that they don’t want to be censured for it!

It’s like with fertility. Hordes of women over 35 conceive quickly and easily, but they aren’t posting about it on the internet. (For one thing, it sounds unbearably smug and insensitive) So what you see tends to be content from the folk who are struggling to conceive, and that skews our perception of the reality of TTC at 35.

Mumsnet's views on a lot of things seem to be so far removed from the real life that I know. That said, I don't drink alcohol now because of health issues, but very much used to.

Your poll is designed to polarise opinion and only reflects your own biased opinion. While lots of people on mumsnet don’t drink alcohol, lots do, in moderation. I’m one of those. I like a cocktail on Friday evenings and a glass of wine with a nice dinner. I did Dry January without difficulty but don’t want to give up booze permanently.

I drank like you until perimenopause hit, enjoy it for now.
Now I only have a glass of cava on Xmas day to join in, and I don’t miss it at all.
My 20’s adult kids don’t drink anything like I did at their age, one doesn’t drink at all.

As PP have said, it seems to change during perimenopause. I haven’t been a big drinker for a while but was surprised recently on a night out with friends how much they’d all cut back as well.

It’s about 75 percent of the population drink. So yes statistically it’s skewed, I’m also always surprised by the venom it attracts, and the rush to label people alcoholics, it’s really unusual

conversely I also recall a thread where someone asked what would you like to be able to afford in your weekly shop and the most common answer was alcohol. I do often wonder if there is a correlation.

I recall another thread where the op was slagging off a relative for relatively normal drinking and posters were jumping in to call him an alkie, it worked out the op was fat, as I assume were some of the poster rushing to judge, but in their minds their over eating was very different and shouldn’t be subject to judgment.

its very odd and statistically speaking very skewed, but it’s less about that and more the sheer venom and judgement it seems to attract on here,

Im 37 and I dont drink alcohol, haven't for about 3 years now. Even before that I rarely drank only when I was out on a night out and that was reluctantly with the drink practically forced into my hand and it would take me all night to finish it if I ever did. I dont enjoy the taste and have since put my foot down just stick to Pepsi or juice on a night out now.
Dh quite likes a drink on nights out however hes in his 40s now has a couple of medical conditions so hasn't had anything apart from a few shandies since the start of the year. He says how much better he feels for it.
Our friends have also reduced their drinking considerably recently, a combination of age and expense.

Yep, I'm late 40s and drink a LOT less than I used to.

When DC were babies and toddlers I drank a glass of wine most nights (my children were always both in bed by 7pm, 6.30 on a Friday).

Now I'm 40s. I usually have one or two at the weekend - literally A glass of wine or more usually A g&t.

Wine flushes me anyway. And so I don't really enjoy it after the first half glass.

One g&t gives me a hangover now too.

I don't drink in the week as I'm too busy and need sleep. And I dont drink when we go out as I prefer to remember conversations.

My only drinking is done at home and ideally before 6pm in order to protect my precious sleep.

I really disagree with you OP, I see lots of people scoffing about the thimble full of wine and saying they love a good booze up. People become furious when anyone suggests an alcohol free wedding on here!!

As for being teetotal, I drank a lot in my 20s/30s and when I got to my 40s I found I could no longer tolerate it (peri meno) and all my friends said the same. It makes us feel utterly shit after even 1 or 2 glasses which is probably why you are seeing people say this. The after effects simply arent worth it for many of us any more which I think is sensible- why would you continue doing something that makes you feel rubbish?

I rarely drink during the week but do enjoy a cocktail and good wine with a meal or on holiday.

I don’t know many people who regularly drink to excess, but I can’t think of anyone I know who does not drink at all.

I agree OP- same sorts of habits in my circle too

I used to drink a lot from 17 to around 25 (hello uni) basically binge drank for 4-5 days out of that time for a number of those years. Calmed it down to more acceptable levels from then to mid 30’s and now 39 I barely touch unless it’s social. I cba and most of my friends are the same. Saying that I had 2 lovely glasses of Hugo spritz and sat in the garden with my book yesterday evening