To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I've been pretty much teetotal for over 20 years. I'm from the north east and think it depends on your cousin's social circle, we aren't all the same.

Looking down on drinkers

So cyclists and vegans are also superior?

I'm coming across people who don't drink/ drink very little more often than ever (I'm in my late 40s). Most have been affected by the excessive drinking of close family members, due to the normalisation of heavy drinking over the years in the UK. I also find that the younger generations are far more sensible about not drinking and driving.

I cut down on my drinking after the children were born. I value a good night's sleep too much and don't sleep properly when I've had too much alcohol. I very rarely go above the recommended weekly limit and mostly drink far less than it.

So every person who doesn't drink looks down on drinkers? does it work for everything else we dont do?

and I do find the intelligence level on here at about 14 sometimes with all this 'they are being big meanies and looking down on me and judging me because I have made up things in my head' do people in real life actually think this way?

This reminds me of a decade or so ago when I was researching the Mirena coil, and so many of the posts on MN were along the lines of 'don't get a Mirena coil, it will be AGONY and you will be lucky if you don't DIE'.

It was only when I had a discussion with a group of friends and most of them had a Mirena and it was completely fine, no drama at all, that I decided to get one. And guess what? No drama, all fine. MN is not real life, most people who have positive/neutral experiences with alchohol, fertility, breastfeeding, husbands, kids, Covid, and Mirena coils do not bother to post.

I used to be the same. Had a big group of friends and socialising was all done around drinking. We would go to each others houses with kids and drink wine, out for dinner as couples wine again, girls nights out with cocktails and more wine, dads nights out which involved loads of beer…..

We are all mid to late forties now. Out of around 8 women in my “mum” group of friends I reckon two still drink like that. Most of us have stopped pretty much completely. Some are an occasional glass here and there. The effects it has on my body just aren’t worth it anymore and I used to love a drink and have a pretty high tolerance.

you realise that for many people alcohol just isn’t a big part of their lives. In much the same way some people don’t drink hot drinks. It’s not so they can feel superior: they just don’t want to drink (either at all. Or a lot)

I remember my mum was at a party and some woman was constantly picking on her for not drinking, calling her a snob etc. my mum stopped drinking years earlier because she was an alcoholic

So if this is true, why is it then that non drinkers get nagged and mocked relentlessly when out with drinkers.

Why do we get told stupid idiotic things like "oh come on, just have one", "dont be so boring", "lighten up FFS" etc

I have never in my life commented on what alcohol someone has in their glass and yet order a soft drink in a pub and you get everyone's opinion!

Noone who doesnt drink thinks they are superior, we just want to be left alone and not hassled constantly!

I couldn't give a literal toss what alcohol someone else wants to drink but stop being so judgy about people who choose not to partake 🤬

Everyone that I know seems to drink a lot, it’s the norm here from nights out to a few in the house on weekends with family and friends.

im the outlier. I maybe have one or two units a week but I can week or months without touching a drop. I do have health problems and alcoholism runs in my family so that’s a reason for me not to drink much.

I don’t look down on drinkers. I find drinkers often ask why I don’t drink and then assume that because I’ve said I hate alcohol because of its effects on the body, mind and its heavy social cost that this means I’m saying I hate THEM for some reason.

I hate alcohol. I don’t care if you drink or not. I am not looking down on you for drinking just as I don’t look down on people with obesity (as one drinker below clearly thinks it’s the worst thing ever). I recognise that these are symptoms of society and people aren’t ’weak’ or ‘immoral’ for having a glass of red with dinner.

But drinkers seem to take non-drinkers rejection of alcohol and it’s horrible effects as a rejection of them. It’s just internalised shame imo.

It’s absolutely fine if it’s not a big part of their lives. And it’s wrong when it goes the other way too - ie people judging those who don’t drink. But my point is there is a lot more judgement and criticism on here than what I see in real life (and that was the entire question raised in the op).

I don’t drink as much as I used to. And I see that in my dc and their peer group that drinking is not a popular or trendy thing to do like it was when I was young. I don’t think that’s a bad thing but I also don’t think people need to be vilified because they enjoy a few glasses of wine.

I drink very occasionally. If there is a party or it’s Christmas etc. I don’t drink a lot, and I don’t like the feeling of getting drunk.

I lived with an alcoholic as a teenager. It was an awful few years. So I absolutely can’t stand it. I don’t get why people need to have a drink nearly every day. And I definitely don’t understand the need to go out every weekend and get drunk.

One of my sisters, (middle one) grew up the same, she drinks every weekend.

My youngest sister, is in between both of us. Doesn’t drink weekly but drinks more than I do.

I don’t drink. I’ve never drank in my life. The taste of alcohol is just disgusting. My family don’t really drink, maybe a glass of sangria on holiday.
My husband enjoys a cider now and again. I really try to limit his alcohol intake in the house, because we have children, although I don’t mind a single cider occasionally.
His family I would deem alcoholics - they all “need” a drink in the evening. His dad drinks Malibu and a splash of pineapple his mum drinks a glass of Chardonnay followed by a vodka and Coke. To me that’s excessive.
But I am also aware my views on alcohol are the same as drugs etc, just why? Why bother smoking? Why bother doing drugs? Why bother drinking alcohol? There are a lot more, better flavours out there that don’t require your insides to be on fire.

But drinkers seem to take non-drinkers rejection of alcohol and its horrible effects as a rejection of them. It’s just internalised shame imo.

I agree. Ive never ever seen anyone on here literally being called an "alcoholic" because they enjoy a glass of wine twice a week.

I have seen lots of snarky comments about people who drink "a thimble of wine" at Christmas, as if drinking a small amount makes them an idiot - lots of this phrase in this thread alone.

More generally, I think there's a tendency in these discussions to treat any criticism of alcohol as a moral judgement rather than a comment on the behaviour itself. Saying that regular drinking isn't particularly healthy isn't the same thing as saying the person drinking is irresponsible, weak or alcohol-dependent. But people hear "drinking isnt healthy" and assume "you are calling me an alcoholic"

I barely drink anymore because the effects aren’t worth it. One solitary glass of wine will make me flush. Within an hour or two I’ll have horrendous diarrhoea and the following day I’ll have a hangover equivalent to a three-day bender in Magaluf.

I LOVE wine. I miss it. I certainly don’t look down my nose at drinkers. It’s just something I can’t tolerate anymore, and I think it’s the same for lots of women as they hit menopause.

We drink probably a bottle of champagne and a bottle of red wine every week. Otherwise most drinking is parties, holidays and a lot less than we used to. It's just a factor of getting older and having kids around I think.

Starting a thread like this always feels like an underlying acknowledgement of an issue. A sense of unease. I don't drink and I haven't felt the need to start a thread about it. I eat too much and am overweight and haven't started a thread about it because I already know what I know and don't need people to debate it so I can find some people who agree with my choices.

Well myself and over 90pc of people I know like a drink, certainly at the weekend and wine Wednesday is a thing!