To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

I drank loads in my youth and drank fairly regular as an adult but since I went zero carb I just can’t tolerate it. I don’t drink at all now and I don’t miss it. I don’t care what other people do though. I had some fun times with alcohol

I have to be honest and say the only friend i have that regularly gets pissed is also the only one who doesn’t drive.

I think our culture is suffused with alcohol tbh and as a nation we still are inclined to be heavy drinkers.

A PP has it right that as you get older and particularly as you hit menopause alcohol often becomes less and less attractive because the damage it does to you both mentally and physically becomes so apparent almost overnight. Your body can't process it in the way it could as a young person.

I drank moderately to sometimes heavily in my 20s: it would be very routine to sink a couple of bottles with a friend on a weekend night. Now in my 50s and not quite teetotal but drink sparingly, maybe one to two units a fortnight. Quite small amounts of alcohol now have quite a deleterious effect on me, make me feel slow, sluggish and stupid the next day, so I just don't bother with it unless it's a special occasion. I think a lot of people, as they get older, try to treat alcohol with more respect as opposed to drinking it just because its there.

I think it's a good thing, to be honest, and I welcome the fact that we drink less because as a nation we've had huge problems with it.

This "thimbleful at Christmas" is such a cliche by the way. I have not seen a single thread on Mumsnet which doesn't include this hoary old phrase. It just makes people look really defensive when they use this.

I think it is this. I get the sense that the majority on Mumsnet are over 40. I do drink sometimes but not every weekend (whereas I probably did in my early to mid 30s).

I guess its not that interesting if you are a moderate drinker. I dont drink, and with my friendship group, they drink on the odd social but it would be good wines etc rather than for the sake of drinking. No one binge drinks.

I do think the new generation of young people are more concerned with the health impacts and how they look, so its seen as wasted calories.

I don’t find that Mumsnet has the views you state it has.

My husband and all his friends drink a lot, all of the school mums and my other friends drink a lot. Every weekend and binge drinking. Any opportunity to have a drink. I only do it for special occasions and I'm the odd one out. In one of the wealthiest part of the country, all 45-65.

I totally get why you posted this. Despite the voting poll showing that most agree with you, nearly all the comments are once again about not drinking/rarely drinking! I think it’s really unusual. Everyone I know drinks, and drinks at least several times a week - family, friends, colleagues and clients. All of them.

No alcohol problems or religious regions, I've been teetotal since I found out I was pregnant with DC1 over thirty years ago. I used to feel the odd one out and maybe it comes with age (I'm mid 50s now), but my two closest friends no longer drink either.
I am one of eight siblings, and only one drinks socially. Our parents were both teetotal so no background of seeing it cause issues.

I also see amongst my now adult DCs and their friends a decline in drinking (we're pretty much all based in North Yorkshire for anyone thinking Northerners are all old soaks). Whilst not strictly teetotal, none of them drink on a regular basis, not even at Christmas. They might have a few drinks a couple of times a year. DS said he can have have a European city break for the price of two nights out drinking (if you include cabs, club, food). They definitely aren't unusual amongst their friends either.

My feeling is that people over 40 tend to cut down on their drinking due to negative health effects and young people in their 20s arent drinking as much in general- stats show this.

The middle generation probably still does.

My son is currently at university and it's pretty normal for students to not drink alcohol at all. Times are definitely changing

Surely it's because people post on threads they feel strongly about and people who drink in the way you describe are not bothered about the effects of drinking somewhat more than recommended?

I think less people drink nowadays. I’m in my 40s and in my 20s and 30s enjoyed a drink but like others menopause stopped me drinking as one drink made me feel awful the next day. I also come from an alcoholic family (lots of premature deaths) and didn’t want to risk it.

The poll is a bit unfair, I disagree with the OPs view of Mumsnet but didn't vote YABU because I don't think alcohol is the devil, and don't think that's actually the view here.

The poll didn't ask if you drink several times a week or not.

Same. We are in our fifties now and when we go for dinner, usually nobody is drinking at all (N London, professional background). People did drink in their 20s to early 40s though.

I don't drink, well hardly drink! Il have a shandy maybe once every 2 months;m, maybe once a week when it's sunny in general. I don't really have a social life anymore, the odd times I do go out I drink though! Life's too short to be wasting days on hangovers 🙂 I have friends that don't really drink either and others that love the pub, I'm 30

Yeah it is - its kinda a bit like:

1. I love wine and drink from a bucket OR
2. Alcohol is satan's ribena

Most of us dont have views that extreme 🤣

My friends and I generally have always enjoyed going out and having a few glasses of wine but as previous posters have said so many people I know have really cut back since hitting around 40 and perimenopause kicking in. Lots of people can’t tolerate alcohol in the same way as they did and it makes them feel awful even after a couple of drinks but also attitudes around the risks of drinking a lot is also a factor too.

For the good of everyone's health, please know that the most recent research has found that alcohol is far worse for you than was previously thought. So OP, the people you mention who drink multiple times a week are harming themselves in the long term. Canada and the US have revised their guidelines of safe drinking limits right down. Even very small amounts are now known to damage your heart and raise your cancer risk.

The World Health Organisation says the risk starts from the first drop and that* there is no safe level of alcohol.*
https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health

The idea that moderate amounts of alcohol are better for you than no alcohol has been exposed as a myth:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/jul/25/moderate-drinking-not-better-for-health-than-abstaining-analysis-suggests

Research saying that alcohol is not safe at even light amounts:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4432712/

Alcohol is now classified as a Group 1 carcinogen, and it's especially bad for people over 50.

I think Mumsnet has many users who don't drink much because they tend to be an intelligent bunch and we all know it's bad for you.

Now that the latest research says that it's worse for you than previously thought, and that very small amounts are damaging, alcohol is going the way of smoking. Both very Boomer-type activities, hallmarks of the past, not the future. Anyone who's at all with-it has curtailed their drinking.

One more thing that's relevant for women: Alcohol raises the risk of breast cancer.

Sorry to be the original fun sponge.

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

I don't think I've ever seen threads like this on MN. In fact, I quite often see posts along the lines of Meh, a bottle of wine a night isn't too bad, so long as you have a day off now and again.

Very often, there are threads where someone asks if they are drinking too much, and naturally a lot of the people who reply are those who have had troubling experiences with alcohol. So there will be quite a few posts urging caution and moderation. But on the whole, I see a wide range of attitudes to drinking on MN, including heavy drinking

NONE of them? That is extremely unusual. I seriously don’t know anyone who DOESNT (bar the pregnant ones and then they partake in a one occasionally)

It's a bias - of course your social circle is going to be similar to you.
90% of my friends drink, it's somehow how we initially bonded I'd say. But there's other people out there, different cultures, different family dynamics...

I agree with you OP, there always seem to be far more people on here who don’t drink than I know in real life. Also quite a lot of judgement on those who do. I say that as someone who has friends who don’t drink either for religious reasons or because they are in recovery. But then there have also been the wine o clock type threads where everyone is talking about what they are drinking that night.

It can be similar when drugs are mentioned. Either people talking about all the drugs they did when they were younger, or a complete horror of any drugs and how dangerous they are

You mustn’t be clicking on them then, I see them all the time, the op is correct.

Also quite a lot of judgement on those who do.

Conversely, I see quite a lot of judgement for those who dont drink. The "thimble of wine" people, "dont be so boring", "lighten up", "my uncle lived on whiskey and spite and lived until he was 104" posts etc

I have friends who don't drink and friends and family who do drink, but none are heavy drinkers. To not have any friends or family at all who drink is unusual I would have thought though.

Is this for cultural/religious reasons?

I enjoy wine, but stick within the NHS guidelines.

I went out yesterday to a bar where a lot of alcohol was imbibed, and out of our party of 10 only 4 were drinking alcohol.