To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

😂

@MNLurker1345

But that is not what the thread is about. It is about the attitude of “teetotallers” to those that do drink and OP is questioning what she wonders might be a MN attitude to those that do drink alcohol.
Regarding your point, I can’t really comment on it other than to say, I haven’t come across it. I know so many people that do not drink alcohol. Most of my extended family. My DD is of the thimble at Christmas brigade. Her choice, we would never force her or even offer.
I personally don’t understand why anyone would pressure someone to drink that doesn’t. Why do people you know or associate with not respect a really simple and basic personal choice “I don’t drink” or “no thanks, I’m ok”.

I think the answer to this question partly lies in your third paragraph. I'm not a teetotaller but I drink sparingly and, as someone who previously drank quite a lot, I've been quite shocked at how much pressure there is to drink if you decide not to (for whatever reason). Particularly as an ex drinker.

It's very striking to me that drinkers are often made uncomfortable when former drinkers stop drinking: several friends or acquaintances have made me feel quite guilty in certain situations when I've chosen to draw a line after a couple of drinks, and implied that I'm not being "me" anymore because I no longer want to drink heavily. They have behaved as if I'm somehow being disloyal by choosing not to drink.

Possibly there's some defensiveness on the part of teetotallers or former drinkers because of the constant pressure exerted by society to drink and, having seen a number of people in my life die young or experience serious illness or social problems in which drink played a part, it possibly does make some people feel a bit evangelical. On the flipside, I can understand how, as a twenty-something, if a former drinking partner had inexplicably stopped doing the main thing that bonded us, I might feel a bit confused and snubbed by it, so I can sort of understand the perspective of the drinker as well.

The broader point is that while it is becoming much more acceptable to not drink or to drink less, we still live in a country with a high tolerance for routine heavy (and often very antisocial) drinking, and attitudes to alcohol are very polarised.

@Thepeopleversuswork “The broader point is that while it is becoming much more acceptable to not drink or to drink less, we still live in a country with a high tolerance for routine heavy (and often very antisocial) drinking, and attitudes to alcohol are very polarised”

I see very much from this thread that attitudes are polarised as you say. I see also that drinking is very related to socialising.

Drinking alcohol has never been a social thing for me. It is more of a lifestyle choice. I like good food and wine.

I can now see that if one’s drinking experience is at the local pub, where they certainly do fill those glasses or in a bar, where people drink alcohol on the whole without food, overconsumption becomes the norm.

My DD 33, grew up around my love of food and wine as are my DGC. My DD drinks minimally. A
cocktail when she meets up with friends in London and the very occasional glass of wine at table with us.

But her DH, who grew up in that whole pub culture likes a beer or two at the end of the day and when they are out.

From one extreme to the other and everything in between!

I used to drink when I was younger but then I was either ttc pregnant or breastfeeding for 12 years without stopping. I find with dc around I need to be always alert and not compromised by alcohol so I don't drink.

I partied like crazy from 16 to 20

Im 38 now and can’t remember the last time I had alcohol, it’s a few years at least.

I honestly think I got it all out of my system when younger.

I think it depends on your physical temperament a lot. I never get drunk these days but will drink wine at home whenever I feel like it/several times a week. Have no perimenopause yet/ still very active etc. so that may change for sure.

It massively varies with people I know.

My dad is a currently-sober alcoholic, my brother is tee total as a response to having an alcoholic parent, I drink may be 2 drinks a month. My DH drinks 2-3 pints a couple of times a week.

I have noticed that in the last few years, many people I know have given up alcohol as they felt unhappy with drinking. They weren’t outwardly seeming like they had any issues, or regularly drunk etc, but they felt it was becoming a negative thing somehow.

I think overall, my friends are now either tee total or fairly minimal drinkers. But nobody is particularly critical of alcohol or people that enjoy a drink, they just don’t want it themselves.

The thing about some teetotallers (looking at you, PIL) is they’ll sit in judgement at people who drink alcohol and then they’ll eat sausages or bacon or sugar-laden cakes which are much more likely to give you cancer.

I am a weekend drinker. Half a bottle of wine on a Friday night and another half on Saturday night. On bank holidays I will drink another half a bottle, and on holidays or over Christmas I will drink more. I don't drink to get drunk and haven't been drunk in a long time.

This seems fine to me, I appreciate others would think this was excessive and others not.

My alcohol consumption has gone up since the sugar tax came in.

There are now very very few soft drinks I can safely have on a night out and in many places there are none at all.

I do think Mumsnet has an extreme attitude to alcohol. Most people I know do drink but not that much, I am 50 and everyone around me is very in to health and fitness. I will have wine Friday and Saturday but only a little, I like to get up early or exercise so too much makes that hard. I can also only drink certain types of wine now (I never really drank spirits) no more cheap stuff which actually helps keep it moderate, I won’t drink it for the sake of it, there has to be something I actually enjoy for me to bother.

I don’t understand why people who drink alcohol regularly get so irritated and annoyed that others don’t drink at all/ often.

i have probably one glass a wine twice a year. I don’t really care what you or anyone else drinks.

in my circle, there are a lot of people who don’t drink much for a variety of reasons

Well that's a new one. Can't you drink water? Soda water with a slice of lemon in it?

It's just self selection bias. People that don't drink love to chastise and lord it over people that do and are more likely to post. I am in my 40's and the lightest drinker I know. And I am drinking probs half a bottle of wine a week. Most people I know are going way harder than that. Alcohol isn't great but it isn't the devil.

Where does this attitude come from that you are either a heavy drinker or an unhealthy eater? You do know its possible to be both a heavy drinker and eat unhealthily, right? There are people who both eat bacon and sugar and drink? There are also people who don’t drink and eat very carefully.

Its not an either / or choice.

Your voting options are stupid. I don't think alcohol is the devil - there is nothing wrong with drinking it in moderation. But I don't agree that everyone drinks loads either.

I do drink occasionally, but not often and typically in small quantities - a glass of wine with a meal. I don't drink every week. I just don't feel the need.

I certainly don't disapprove of people drinking more, and if they moderate their intake then it isn't an issue. However, I do think some people drink far too much and that this isn't healthy. I also think that there are quite a lot of people who are in denial about the fact that they have an alcohol problem.

Bacon and sausages aren't going to make someone a drunk driver that kills someone are they?

Not everyone who enjoys a glass of wine now and again drinks and drives.

I don’t know anyone who loves to chastise others for having a few drinks. I’ve said uothread, I barely drink alcohol. But I really don’t care whether anyone else does or judge them for it. My parents haven’t drunk alcohol since the 1970s and don’t really care about others drinking or judge them for it.

Maybe it's an age thing @Peanutbutterkitty ?

When I was younger I dranks lots of alcohol (up until my late 30s/early 40s). I gradually reduced it because even 1 glass of wine started to make me feel really awful - something to do with histamines and sulphates.

I'm mid 50 and don't drink any wine, only beer, cider and spirits and not a lot of those.

As you get older your body is less able to cope with metabolising alcohol and I do think the average age on MN is older than 30s.

Are non drivers allowed a drink?

Drinking doesn't make someone a drink driver
Drinking and driving does.
They are two separate things

Bacon and sausages are less likely to give you cancer. Alcohol is more likely to give you it. Its a more significant risk.

I thought obesity cost the nhs more than alcohol related diseases

I don't drink alcohol. I just don't care about it. I don't like the taste, it's too expensive, and I don't need it to have a good time.

I'd honestly rather have a Schloer or J20.