To think Mumsnet's views on alcohol are unusual?

[Peanutbutterkitty]

Every time I read a thread on Mumsnet talking about alcohol, I am always fairly surprised because most posters seem to absolutely despise drinking, claim to never drink or not be able to possible manage more than a single thimble of wine at Christmas.

Yet most people I know drink far more than that! I am in my thirties and I'd say almost every friend I have will drink every Friday and Saturday, and sometimes one or two weekdays depending on the weather! And everyone will drink at least 3 drinks in one go, often more if it's a bank holiday/bbq/party/catch up with friends.

This varies across all classes/age groups that I know - neighbours, family, colleagues etc. My friendship group are all professional, responsible people with otherwise very healthy lifestyles (daily gym/pilates, homecooked healthy non-UPF meals, salads and quinoa and green tea types!), but they all love a few glasses of wine or beer at the weekend.

I am from the south east and my cousin is from the north east, and she said it is very much the same where she lives.

So are our hometowns just odd? Or AIBU to think this is fairly usual in the UK, and that Mumsnet posters are unusual in this regard?

Genuinely just curious as it came up in conversation!

YABU - Mumsnet is the norm, alcohol is the devil
YANBU - Mumsnet views about alcohol are unusual

That’s not been scientifallh proven yet.

Do you drink in front of your kids ?

You've mentioned obesity several times now, but I'm still not sure what point you're making.

The fact that obesity is common doesn't somehow make alcohol risk-free- alcohol causes cancer.

I’m an absolute fucking gobshite after a drink so I don’t. I’m late 30s so was fully engaged with the binge drinking culture. My parents were alcoholics so I was literally given shandy from about aged 3. I remember my first time getting absolutely wankered about 7 years old. I don’t want my kids seeing me behave like the greatest prick to walk the earth nor do I want them growing up thinking it’s normal.

If I could just have a couple of glasses of wine without being a hurricane I might drink. But I’m not so I don’t.

You need to drink, yes, but not alcohol.

Mumsnet skews hysterical on alcohol and many other issues, but that's what makes it entertaining.

What are you talking about? I haven't said anything about obesity - this thread is about alcohol, not food.

I’ve been sober 4 1/2 years (a choice) and I’ve noticed the drinker friends do not invite me out anymore so I spend more time with low or non drinker friends.

im part of a couple of groups and even there when people realise I don’t drink the invites slow down.

im not weird about my non drinking. I sometimes leave at 10pm because I need to get my car before the car parks shut. Happily drink lemonade or Diet Coke and don’t throw a strop of the alcohol free menu is limited.

I think for a lot of big drinkers I make them feel uncomfortable with my choices.

that’s not my problem and I doubt I’ll give up my sobriety as it’s just a different way of being and I enjoy waking up after a night out to crack on with my day and not needing to down electrolytes and pain meds.

As someone who has massively cut down/almost stopped drinking, the pressure to drink is so much more noticeable.

A really old friend and drinking buddy who drinks the same now as we did in our 20s has recently accused me of being neurotic, being controlled by my partner and other things because I have made clear that I don’t want to drink excessively any more. She doesn’t believe its a genuine desire on my part and thinks its some sort of social pose or trend.

It’s deeply embedded in our society and so many relationships are built on it that it can be really hard to rewire those relationships as a sober or almost sober person.

The accusations of “despising” alcohol and the “thimbleful of Sherry at Christmas” trope is all part of this. Its changing but a lot of people have a really hard time imagining a social life without alcohol.

I work with people who are early 20s to early 60s. They all drink alcohol- don’t know how much but theres a weekly work pub night.
At least half the adults I know regularly buy wine.
My v. young adult/ teen kids regularly go out clubbing, and this will involve pres at someone’s house first, and they have definitely had hangovers…the bars are packed with young people so not convinced young people are not drinking.
I don’t drink anymore but that’s only because I used to drink like a sailor and have no off switch, so for me it’s all or nothing. If I could have 2 or 3 glasses a week I would.
The supermarkets sell a LOT of booze, so not sure folk are entirely honest about their drinking habits.
For most people alcohol is not the devil, it’s a social lubricant and a pleasure, and I certainly don’t judge anyone who enjoys a drink.

Do you have kids op? Post kids tolerance for hangovers changes a lot

You said something about food addiction and rhe conversation you joined was about how obesity was the bigger issue,

No, I quoted a poster who said they enjoyed drinking and I asked why they needed to drink to enjoy themselves. Yes, they mentioned food but I didn't respond to that. YOU then continued to bring food and obesity into it.

Why do people need others to be thought of as lying to male themselves feel better about their alcohol issues?

If somome has issues work on that stop putting your issues onto others

I think it's an age thing to some extent?
My generation were known for heavy drinking and I think the highest alcohol consumption is among the over 60s. I can't tolerate it much but friends and family do drink regularly.
My DC and their partners are in their 20s and drink very little. Apart from a few wild nights at uni they don't drink now from one week to another, and when they do it will be one beer or glass of wine.

I think it’s skewed because it’s a predominantly mums website.

I think women tend to drink less when they have small children due to breastfeeding, general exhaustion and needing to be sober for the kids.

Then women’s tolerance to alcohol completely depletes in her 40’s approaching menopause.

From my mid 30’s to early 40’s I’d have at least a glass of wine most evenings. More on the weekend. Didn’t affect me at all.

Now mid 40’s I feel really rubbish after just one glass of wine. I cannot get drunk now without getting a horrendous headache and then needing 2 days in bed to recover. It’s just not worth it.

And I responded saying you could also ask why overweight people feel they need to over eat to enjoy life.

The accusations of “despising” alcohol and the “thimbleful of Sherry at Christmas” trope is all part of this. Its changing but a lot of people have a really hard time imagining a social life without alcohol.

I think you're right @Thepeopleversuswork - alcohol is so normalised in society that some people see anyone who doesn't drink as a direct critic of their own choices.

I have a glass of wine in front of my kids

I don’t drink so I would be one of the people you are talking about.

Drinking just doesn’t interest me. I usually have a drink at Christmas and maybe a beer at a barbecue once a year.

I know of around three people who are like me and don’t drink. Most people I know do drink and some drink at least three times a week. However a lot of people I know don’t drink for religious reasons.

But what is your point? Do you feel judged?

My scottish family and friends drink a whole lot

I'm living in east London and my friend group and I rarely drink (maybe twice a year). Aged 30s and 40s.

I do feel people are moving away from drinking as pub culture is gone, it's spendy, hangovers suck, we tend to be more health conscious ...

Because you're unlikely to scoff 6 cream eggs and then batter your partner or crash your car and kill someone.

Yes there generally seems to be a certain holier than thou non drinking sentiment on MN. Most people I know drink quite regularly, some every day. They also answer their doors too, contrary to another MN obsession.

Absolutely.

I see drinking large amounts as something my parents generation did 20 years ago. I do drink and like the odd beer especially in the summer, but having a bottle of wine with lunch, or going to a BBQ and having 5-6 beers is just not something that would ever cross my mind anymore.

To be fair I think it’s the actual direct criticism on the thread,

I guess some people like to judge. Even though they themselves have an equally bad if not worse issue, ie eating habits. They will happily attack others for drinking, then pop off, make a Sunday roast and over eat, whilst sitting there fat and doing so.