AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

[Liesmorelies]

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

Ummm…no? I’d assume they discussed that I’m the neighbour they need to talk to about this fence, hence the pointing at my house and the subsequent knock. What exactly did you think was the reason that made you come to the conclusion it was strange?

Cant imagine this level of over reaction. A neighbour knocked after seeing you were in to discuss a broken fence theyve mentioned before.

Open the door. Ignore the door.

Jeez I wish this was my biggest problem

I'm autistic, live on my own and have a neighbour who gets pissed and smokes weed regularly, he terrifies me when he starts ranting. There are lots of reasons why people don't like answering the door.

Sorry to hear that, but that is nothing like the situation the OP has posted about.

But she is giving an example of why you may not want to answer the door, so it's a relevant comment.

Haha, this is exactly what I thought! You absolutely knew why they were knocking and who they were so I have no idea why you wouldn’t have answered. I totally get not answering when it’s a stranger, I have a ring to avoid precisely this but you knew and still avoided it!

It’s not relevant, because op knew exactly who was at the door and why they were there.
She’s even happy to pay half the costs in the interests of being neighbourly, so has no issues with these people whatsoever.

Read the last sentence. I said there are lots of reasons why people don't like answering the door. Even just autism on its own can make people anxious about answering the door, or the phone. Some people on MN have no empathy.

I don't have issues with people but I still don't like talking to people. That's from years of anxiety about being stared at and commented on because my mannerisms and speech are different from NT people's. As I said, I was using an example of one of the many reasons people don't like talking to people.

Try answering it

Fair enough, @TheLovelinessOfDemons

Absolutely fine not answering the door!!! Of course you have the right not to! You don't open and move on with your evening. I understand. But to make a thread about them pointing at the house and them being weird for knocking at the door after they saw the OP in the window? Knowing they were most likely neighbours talking about a fence that is down for weeks? What is weird or abnormal about this? Is the OP trying to make out people to be creeps that baffles me. This, I don't understand!

It was persistent only because you didn't answer......

I don't know if you are referring to me as "some people", but I have plenty of empathy. I have empathy for the neighbour who is trying to crack on and put things right in just maintaining the property and making sure his dog doesn't go into a neighbour's garden, and the OP of this thread - who obviously would have said if she had any reason not to open the door - is being bloody awkward and trying to make out the neighbour is odd.

Exactly. While it is true to say that there are many reasons why people might not like answering their door in general, so far as we can tell none of them apply here. The OP just didn't fancy opening her door at that time. That's fine and is her prerogative. But to then get worked up about the fact that the neighbour, who knew full well that the OP was in, who had previously spoken to the OP about the fence, and who probably just wanted to get on with, knocked more than a couple of times, is mad. It is an utterly normal, foreseeable and benign consequence of the OP not just answering her door the first time.

I did not try and make out they were odd, I said they were rude, which I believe they were. I think persistently knocking rather than just assuming now is not a good time is rude.

Er...you did.

Odd = strange

This is a bit odd op, considering you’re the one hiding from your neighbours, declaring them rude for knocking on your door and not making assumptions like you dictate they should. It’s not exactly giving full and happy life vibes.

They probably tried knocking twice, a few minutes apart, because they assumed you'd gone to the bathroom. They knew you were in.
I'm another one baffled by people's refusal to answer their door tbh. Ok, if you're genuinely in the bath, it's 2am, you know it's the Jehovah's Witnesses etc fair enough, but to ignore it because you can't be arsed just seems contrary tbh.
You could've answered and probably got whatever they wanted dealt with in the time it took you to write your OP.

Get a ring type door bell then you can see who it is and decide whether you want to open the door or not. The ring doorbell gives you the option to speak to people without opening the door. You can tell them its not a convenient time. I have a very stern notice on my door which makes it clear I don't open to unsolicited callers, sellers etc. If someone is ignorant enough to ignore my notice then they can stand there all day for all I care. I'm not running a social club for people with too much time on their hands.

And it was absolutely valid. Some people are just so trapped in their own thought process and cant comprehend that others may feel differently.

I don't fully understand this but I'm pretty sure I will have forgotten about this in a few months time.

🤣🤣🤣 you won't because you are going to forever reminded on MN as being "that person" when a door knock or neighbour dispute comes up....

😆 🤣

OP there are many many people that would react the same way as you...up to you if you dont feel in mood to answer door, or phone,and people can be rude expecting to have access to you and your time at their demand,on their time frame...I dont know why you have had so many people feel the need to be twats! It reflects on them,not you!