AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

[Liesmorelies]

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

I think not answering the door is extremely rude especially when somebody knows you are actually in the house. Unless its totally unavoidable and you're in the shower.

Get a grip. They have a dog that they don't want escaping. You sound very self absorbed if it doesn't affect you. Not to mention precious. As for pointing at your property 🙄

You best hope you don't even need their help or co-operation in future. Knowing you were in and ignoring them makes you look ignorant. Yes it is up to you whether you answer but you have painted yourself as strange. They have tried to speak to you about the fence but I expect you will be annoyed about anything they do about that . You're just being awkward.

So you've got e from being certain it was the neighbours partner to saying it was two men and you're not sure who they were.

I don't think it's rude they knocked a few times. They saw you at the window and knew you were in. They may have thought the first time they knocked you might have been in the garden/on the toilet/in the shower and not heard, so tried again. If they walked away and came back they may have seen your shadow behind the slatted blinds and thought "oh, she is in". You call them rude but you're not coming across well yourself here.

You’re off your rocker OP.

The ‘stranger’ was probs it the person they’ve employed to fix the fence and id assume the pointing was done in the course of explaining what needed to be done. It’s not remotely weird.

It's bonkers sometimes.

They were maybe needing access to your garden to install the fence and wanted to ask permission. I would have just knocked and left a note when you didn't answer, but I would ask them what they wanted next time you see them, otherwise it's a bit odd that you ignored them when they knew you were home.

I didn’t realise it was so offensive to knock on someone’s door to talk about work that is potentially required. I bet you would have a moan if they just cracked on and ripped the fence down without consulting you. Nowt as weird as folk.

Exactly. Instead they were probably trying to be polite in consulting her first. I'd just crack on and do the fence now. If the workmen have to go into her garden she now can't complain she wasn't asked. A PP mentioned that the dog is the neighbour's responsibility. Quite right, which is why they are trying to do something. Never mind though @Liesmorelies is happy with her bush. ETA: I hope the dog pisses up it.

YANBU. You're perfectly entitled not to answer your door for any reason! You could have been in the shower for all they knew. It's your house. I don't get why people here get weird about people not wanting to answer their door. And I agree with you, persistent knocking is rude... Read the room! It's like when people call you over and over again when you don't answer

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Ever thought it was

"Oh look love, Lies' guttering is loose at that end, I'll pop round and let her know, she maybe can't see it from her garden"

Good job you're not worried by any of it then. 👍

You are 100% right OP and tbh some of the responses on here have been nuts, I think there were a lot of people last night (probably drinking) lol that just wanted to be mean and have a go, because it cheers them up??

So weird, why do you hope someone's dog pisses up OPs fence??

Not the fence because there isn't one. OP keeps talking about how she's got her bush instead. It's a natural place for a dog to take a liking to.

OK!

You're so funny OP 🤣

No matter what anyone here says, you truly believe you're utterly and unequivocally right!

So why in God's name did you start a thread to ask if you're unreasonable?

On which side are the fence supports? If on theirs, then AFAIK it’s down to them to replace or fix it.

Though having said that, we did once need to go halves with next door, who were responsible for the fence, but hate spending any money even though it’s a rental they’ve had for over 25 years that now brings in at least £3000 a month!

Tight as you like!

Hangover ?

Think it was the booze.

So glad I have normal neighbours. Well on one side anyhow. The other side are odd. You sound odd.

I would have answered the door to listen to what they want. I would explain that it’s not my fence and that the fence on the other side belongs to me. Also not to damage my bushes and shrubs. That way they know where you stand.

no, because he obviously had someone round to give a quote, so it would make perfect sense they would a) indicate who owned the adjoining garden b) go round and contact them the same day. Why on earth would they do half the work, go home, and then come back to speak to you while they were already in the area?

the "persistent" knocking was probably because they knew you were in (having seen you at the window) so thought it was weird you weren't answering the door! For all you know he has previously tried to speak to you about it when you weren't in. How on earth are they supposed to know when it is a 'good time' for you to deign to open the door?

I don't understand why, if you weren't ready to commit to paying for it, you at least didn't answer the door and say 'Sorry now isn't a good time,' and ask them to call back. They might not even want you to pay but just need your permission to come into your garden to work on it.

As pp's have said, there is an advantage to you to getting it done as well - won't have a random dog coming into your garden and will look better if you ever come to sell.