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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

227 replies

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:40

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

OP posts:
Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 12:12

Wtf have I just read? Going by OP’s responses this morning, it might not have been the booze talking last night either. She is just batshit bonkers. But keep them coming, OP. I’m loving the laughs 😆

Sidebeforeself · 31/05/2026 12:23
Knock Knock GIF by Pudgy Penguins

You should always answer the door..it could be this little fella

BudgetBuster · 31/05/2026 12:32

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Oh christ... have you been drinking for breakfast too?

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 12:49

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 12:12

Wtf have I just read? Going by OP’s responses this morning, it might not have been the booze talking last night either. She is just batshit bonkers. But keep them coming, OP. I’m loving the laughs 😆

Me too 😆 🤣. Bet she's seen them this morning and been the opposite to them as she's saying on here. They aren't going to forget her strange behaviour.

Liverpool52 · 31/05/2026 12:55

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

Possibly because someone pointing at your house bothers you so much?

thekindoflovewemake · 31/05/2026 13:13

You were being weird.

They might just have been checking they can access your garden to fix the fence or something? I can’t imagine someone seeing me in the window then refusing to answer the door - you could easily have said “sorry, I’m in the middle of something can you call me later” or whatever.

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Have you knocked and sorted it now?

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 14:06

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 13:17

Have you knocked and sorted it now?

Knocked back a few more cocktails again this morning by the looks of it 🤣

Tink3rbell30 · 31/05/2026 14:07

Ironfloor269 · 31/05/2026 14:06

Knocked back a few more cocktails again this morning by the looks of it 🤣

Show quote history

😂😂 of course.

Zanatdy · 31/05/2026 14:24

They are probably wondering why a grown adult won’t answer her door. They clearly want to discuss sorting the fence. My 21yr old son saw a neighbour come 3 times on the ring so went straight round there when he got back, like an adult. Turns out they wanted to ask if his ring had any footage as their cat was killed. I find it very odd that some people don’t answer doors / phones.

SparkyBlue · 31/05/2026 17:50

Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 10:04

They aren't justified in coming into my property without permission just because I chose not to answer the door last night. What an odd and entitled attitude some people have. That said, I wouldn't be that bothered if they did, especially if it was when I was at work - I probably wouldn't notice. I love dogs and would not care less if it pissed on my bush - what an odd comment, why would I care? So many people calling me weird and then gleefully imagining I will be devastated if they put a fence up 'the wrong way round' or if an animal wees on a bush. Neither of these things would bother me in the slightest. I just don't want to be expected to open the door when I don't feel like it.

But if they are trying to get work done and you won’t communicate with them what are they supposed to do. You are making a mountain out of a molehill and creating drama where none exists.

ElixirOfLife · 31/05/2026 17:58

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 30/05/2026 20:09

Good grief. If you’d just answered the door you’d know what it was all about! Who knows why they were pointing, perhaps they like your windows? Who knows? Who cares. I despair with some of the ridiculous behaviour on MN.

This! Just answer the door! Presumably they’re going to return anyway. 🤷‍♀️

And no they’re not rude for knocking on your door. If they were mooning 🍑 or swearing through the letterbox then that would be rude.

Kerrie1973 · 31/05/2026 18:10

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:40

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

Good on you. If you can't be arsed to answer the door right now, don't.

You're anticipating a conversation with two men you don't know and don't feel comfortable doing at this point in time...well done!

I had GSOH charity people turn up yesterday morning when I was literally just out of bed and answered from behind that door that I wasn't dressed...which was true but also didn't want to have to explain why I don't sign up for. charity doorstep donations...

Karenandfour1 · 31/05/2026 18:17

Why do people ask this sort of stuff when it’s clear they’ve already decided they are absolutely right with their decision. 🤷‍♀️ yabu

Panda69 · 31/05/2026 18:27

Im with you poster..if I'm not in the mood to communicate with people,it doesn't matter if they know I'm in.And I dont mind them knocking,and knocking again just incase I didn't hear,but to persist is annoying. Your choice if you want to communicate right that minute,and as you had had a drink,not the right time.Even just not in the mood,not the right time,don't answer....And when you do speak to them and they reference we knocked as we saw you were in,simply say you were busy

ElixirOfLife · 31/05/2026 18:32

It’s not just about whether someone’s busy though, OP thought the people knocking were rude to come to her property. Rude in what way exactly?

Darklight1 · 31/05/2026 19:28

I’m with you OP. Sometimes you don’t have the time or patience to deal with a neighbour complaining about something 😆

I imagine they kept knocking as they’d seen you and thought you couldn’t hear but they should have taken the hint and left.

they could put a note through your door if it’s anything urgent?

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 31/05/2026 19:37

This not answering the door malarkey is just so weird! 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Liesmorelies · 31/05/2026 19:44

LuckyHazelFox · 31/05/2026 12:49

Me too 😆 🤣. Bet she's seen them this morning and been the opposite to them as she's saying on here. They aren't going to forget her strange behaviour.

Show quote history

Christ, what empty lives some people must lead if this would count as a memorable experience for them - the terrible day we saw our neighbour but then, shock, horror, she....didn't answer the door!!!!

OP posts:
WilCh · 31/05/2026 19:58

They could have been trying to let you know you have a tiles missing or loose or damage to chimney or roof?

Niftywigglesheep · 31/05/2026 20:02

Why would you have to pay half? Not your fence.

And yeah I don’t think you have to be available to chat at any point of the day. We have gates on the front of our house so people can’t even get to the door. Our ring doorbells on the outside - it doesn’t work so it’s bloody perfect. Unless we know someone’s coming (family who know how to get in) you can’t get to us 😂

Frillysweetpea · 31/05/2026 20:47

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:50

Well, yes. If you opened your curtains to find a neighbour pointing up at your house wouldn't you find it a bit strange? And followed by persistent knocking at the door even more so?

No, not strange - they were probably coming round to clarify that they were discussing the fence and to reassure you that was all. But it's reasonable to not want any hassle when you've had a drink so YANBU to want to wait for another time to discuss it. Keep an open mind, don't assume the worst and be pleasant when they next bring it up.

Xkk · 31/05/2026 21:13

I don't understand what do you want OP. You said they were weird for pointing at your house even though you knew there was a fence down and they are talks with neighbour to fix it. What is weird about that? I would asume they pointed at the house they need permission from to come in and fix the fence. You didn't want to answer, that is fine, that is your choice. But why make a thread about them being weird when you knew what it was about? They knocked several times as they saw you home and they thought you didn't hear. Again, what is so weird about this? You then go and pick fights with everyone who said you were the weird one. You are not weird for chosing not to answer the door, well a little but let it slide as we all have right to privacy, but to start a thread and make something that isn't there for what? What do you need from this thread? Afirmation? No, they weren't weird at all, that is normal interaction when you live in a community.

TokyoSushi · 31/05/2026 21:18

I’ve just come across this thread, and oh my… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

stichguru · 31/05/2026 21:21

Liesmorelies · 30/05/2026 19:50

Well, yes. If you opened your curtains to find a neighbour pointing up at your house wouldn't you find it a bit strange? And followed by persistent knocking at the door even more so?

Not at all if I knew there was a fence that needed repair. I'd assume that the person had got someone round to look at the fence, was saying "oh but it's shared with that neighbour so they need to agree to that the style, colour and price of fence is ok, and will be happy to share the cost." If they suspect you are in, want to discuss something that benefits you too, and have someone there who is helping them with said thing and doesn't normally live with them or anything, the persistent knocking was probably because they knew you were in and didn't want the ridiculous hassle of having to come round again.