AIBU not to answer the door about the neighbour's fence?

[Liesmorelies]

I don't think I am BU but I feel a bit uneasy about this for some reason.

I came in from a lunch out about an hour ago and went upstairs to open the curtains in my bedroom - the room is south facing so I have been keeping the curtains drawn and wanted to let some cool evening air in before bed tonight. When I opened the curtain my neighbour, who lives at a right angle to me, was in her back garden with someone and was pointing at my house at the moment I opened the curtain. It was a little awkward and we made brief eye contact so I immediately looked away.

I then came downstairs and shortly after there was a knock at the door. I ignored it and it was repeated a couple of times. I could see through the slatted blinds that it was two men. They walked up the drive and paused, then came back down and knocked again a couple of times before finally giving up and going.

I'm sure it was the same neighbour (her partner) who was pointing at my house. There is a fence that blew down a couple of months ago and the man came round to nail it up shortly after it fell as they have a dog. He said it would need replacing and I thought to myself I would probably offer to pay halves though I didn't say anything as I didn't want to commit myself and it was a week night and I was cooking dinner. I don't care about the fence as I have no dog and there is a bush there that gives privacy. I know from my deeds that I'm not responsible but I'm happy to pay halves if it's a reasonable price and they do all the work. But I don't want to discuss it tonight as I've had a bit to drink and it's not urgent to me. I also don't like that they were pointing at my house and were persistent in knocking. AIBU not to have answered?

You don't need to pay half for the fence if it's theirs misses the point of this thread

I'm sorry, @VIII - No, I won't go over to talk about the fence as I don't care about it so I'm not going to go out of my way about it. If they knock I will answer, just like I did the last time. They have knocked twice (that I know of) and I have answered once, so no need to assume I will never answer again. i just don't want to tonight.

What kind of lunch goes on until 6:00PM-ish also misses the point of this thread?

Much better to start a thread on the internet to discuss this with strangers than have a grown up adult conversation with your neighbour

Classic case of OP asking AIBU? Majority response “Yes you are” , OP “No I’m not!”.
why have you started this thread?
if I’d had written this OP then read the responses I’d think “Oh ok I can understand now that the neighbours knew I was home so that’s why they knocked a couple of times. I’ll try and speak to them tomorrow.”

Regards the fence, if you don’t want to contribute you don’t have to. The can put a secure fence up their side of the boundary. Don’t expect the nice side to face your garden though 😆

For goodness sake. Go and knock and ask them what they wanted.

Definitely strange behaviour going on. Very odd.

But not from the neighbours

For all you know they were pointing to something like loose roof tiles and wanted to let you know. Or it was the person who will be mending the fence, and they were just pointing at the house whose owner needs to give permission for access on the other side.

Refusing to answer the door for no sensible reason is what is incredibly rude.

Don’t expect the nice side to face your garden though 😆

There is nothing in this world I care less about and anyway I have already said it's largely covered by a bush, so you can keep your emoji as it really won't be that funny if they put a fence up the 'wrong way round' for me. I will be very happy if it is sorted with minimal disruption to me.

Much better to start a thread on the internet to discuss this with strangers than have a grown up adult conversation with your neighbour

Well you are on the site and replying to the thread @AgnesMcDoo , so presumably you do have some insight into why people sometimes prefer to converse online with strangers rather than talking to the people involved in the various situations they find themselves in.

Well by your own admission you answered once and have refused to answer today even though they know you're in. How are they to know you will answer if they knock again? Let's hope the 50% of the time you refuse to answer for absolutely no logical reason it's not an emergency.

I seem to be alone here O.P but if you didn't want to answer your door at that time to talk about what you think was likely the fence that's more than fine I think! Xxx

OP , you say you've had 'a bit to drink'. Maybe look at this again tomorrow.

If you open the door and they make a comment just say you didn’t want to open the door and surely the fact that you didn’t answer told them that! You don’t HAVE to open the door just because a man knocks on it!! Especially when it’s about their fence and it’s their problem! DONT offer to pay half for the fence if you don’t own it then it’s their issue! They want it repaired because they have a dog and it doesn’t bother you 🤷‍♀️ Point out to them the fence is their responsibility not yours and they can carry on replacing or repairing it as long as you aren’t disturbed/disrupted

Perhaps they were pointing at your house as there was some problem. Our neighbours told us about our leaking overflow which we were very grateful about as the water company had been telling us for ages we had a leak which we couldn’t find.

Don't give it a second thought.
You do not HAVE to answer the door. Ot doesn't mean you're being a cow. You may have just got in the bath for all they know.

I'm 99% certain there is no issue with my house that they can see from their garden. However, if there is, surely they would put a note through if I didn't answer the door to them. That is certainly what I would do in that situation. Unless people think it's 'basic manners' to withhold crucial information about someone's house if they snub you by failing to answer the door for some reason you are unaware of?

How much have you had to drink? It’s all a bit cringe, don’t like them pointing at your house, hiding and not answering the door.

You sound unhinged OP the more you write. I think it’s time you switched your phone off and went to bed.

YANBU. You don't have to answer your door. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

You are overreacting due to being pissed.

Not at all i was pointing at multiple neighbours houses earlier today as I was talking to a friend about what style of windows me and partner have been discussing and was pointing at the neighbours windows I liked and didn't like

Think you would come across as rude tbh, the neighbour is taking steps to fix a mutual problem and you won't answer the door. You could have at least said, sorry it's not a good time but if you put a note through I'll have a look tomorrow

It's not a mutual problem.

You're under no obligation to open the door if you don't want to. Just like you don't have to answer the phone if you're not in the mood, or respond to messages until you're ready.

I don't answer the door in the evening after a certain time. Not because I'm scared or bothered, but because I'm relaxing after a hard day and don't want to deal other people.

And frankly, if the neighbour had booked to have someone come round to measure up, if she'd wanted your input, she would have been sensible to let you know when they were coming in case you wanted to talk to them. She was daft to assume that just because that time was convenient for her, that it was convenient for you.

Yep, sometimes I feel like I've strayed into a parallel universe on here!