Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

532 replies

Kinekia · 29/05/2026 18:47

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

OP posts:
Brokentoes85 · 04/06/2026 01:34

NewIdeasToday · 29/05/2026 18:53

I’m afraid that seems very unfair to the new department who presumably wanted a colleague who could start in the next few weeks. It would have been more ethical to explain you’re pregnant and negotiate on start dates.

No what's unfair is men can't be in that position.

She doesn't have to disclose anything.

Brokentoes85 · 04/06/2026 01:36

Fortysevenpl · 29/05/2026 19:10

Of course they did - because they specifically asked about holidays booked, clearly indicating that they wanted to know if there were absence periods coming. Maternity leave is just that. Whilst you might not have done anything wrong legally, you have fucked them over - they hired you because they needed an employee to work soon, that’s kind of the point of hiring.

They aren’t being friendly to you. Seeing as you are obsessed with legalities, do they have a legal obligation to make chit chat with you? No. would you make chit chat with someone who deceived you? You hid the bump deliberately and you said there was nothing else for them to be aware of so I would say thats
deception , even if legally you’ve done nothing wrong.

She disclosed the holidays she had booked.

Brokentoes85 · 04/06/2026 01:40

Sunloungerhogger · 29/05/2026 19:53

This is what you were completely justified in responding “no” to that question - they are not legally allowed to ask if you’re pregnant - which means they’re also not allowed to ask it in a roundabout/backdoor way either! So you do not (legally - or morally, because that’s why the law is there in the first place!) have to disclose it then.

I was asked in an interview recently if I was pregnant, when I said no, they said are you sure? Started to think they were going to pull out a pregnancy test next

Frillysweetpea · 04/06/2026 09:13

Brokentoes85 · 04/06/2026 01:40

I was asked in an interview recently if I was pregnant, when I said no, they said are you sure? Started to think they were going to pull out a pregnancy test next

@Brokentoes85 Good god! Did they offer you the job and did you accept? I think they would be nightmare employers on lots of levels. They have no idea of employment law and their responsibilities to their employees and presumably don't care.

IamMaz · 04/06/2026 17:55

This is exactly what recently happened in my son’s workplace. They recruited someone to cover for someone going on maternity leave, only to find out that the new recruit was also pregnant and due to give birth before the original staff member. This is NOT a huge company and has caused loads of problems in trying to juggle everything. They have since recruited two men!!! I can quite understand if companies decide not to recruit so many women in the future… (obviously younger women). 🤷🏽‍♀️

Portugal1987 · 05/06/2026 07:32

Kinekia · 01/06/2026 13:09

I come back with a positive update about my situation and talk about how my manager is now being understanding and wants to offer support. And someone decides I need knocking down a peg and put in my
place. Fucking vile. I don’t mind criticism for what I’ve done but some have been downright fucking nasty and would love to see me sacked and thrown out onto the kerb. I will be leaving the thread now. Thank you to everyone who’s left supportive comments.

I’m happy for you that it all worked out! I’m in a position where I’m applying actively for job, while hoping to get pregnant soon, due to a lot of uncertainty in my current role/company (tech layoffs). What choice do I have??

It’s so easy to put this blame on a woman, and I don’t think YABU you for navigating it this way! The only time you could have disclosed this to get the job, is after signing contracts. I agree they most likely wouldn’t have hired you if you had said it in an interview.

If it’s just slightly uncomfortable at work for a bit, if that’s the worst - it’s all pretty ok. You did what you needed to do: got a good job, mat leave, a job to return to, a new little person to love.

Honestly, DON’T FEEL BAD.

BananaPeels · 05/06/2026 07:53

Portugal1987 · 05/06/2026 07:32

I’m happy for you that it all worked out! I’m in a position where I’m applying actively for job, while hoping to get pregnant soon, due to a lot of uncertainty in my current role/company (tech layoffs). What choice do I have??

It’s so easy to put this blame on a woman, and I don’t think YABU you for navigating it this way! The only time you could have disclosed this to get the job, is after signing contracts. I agree they most likely wouldn’t have hired you if you had said it in an interview.

If it’s just slightly uncomfortable at work for a bit, if that’s the worst - it’s all pretty ok. You did what you needed to do: got a good job, mat leave, a job to return to, a new little person to love.

Honestly, DON’T FEEL BAD.

It is immensely tough being in your situation as I was in that too. I was trying to get pregnant, stuck in a job I hated and after 2 years of trying we were stuck not know what to do. Do I stay and hope for the best and have my career on hold or do I move and risk falling pregnant and doing the dirty on them by starting and then leaving? I am hugely sympathetic with any pregnant women in this situation as most of us need an income to keep a roof over our heads and are put in massive moral quandaries.

anyway I moved jobs and I fell pregnant on the first month of my new job. Go figure so had to tell them 3 months in. They were fine about it and I’m 20 years past that and everything worked out in the end. Just move roles and what will be will be.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page