To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

You’ve done nothing wrong OP and there’s no need for you to apologise to your new team. Just do the best job you can now that they have hired you. Don’t let yourself be made to feel guilty for a perfectly normal and valid thing.

Fwiw, I had to apply for a new job while in early pregnancy because my company went out of business. I did not disclose my pregnancy because (as you knew too!) I would not have been hired if I had. I waited until I had signed my contract and done a solid month of good work then told them. They were actually lovely about it and it ended up one of the best places I have worked. And yes, it was a small business, but I also wasn’t employed long enough to qualify for anything but Maternity Allowance from the government, so it cost them nothing but some of my time. Went back a bit earlier too (couldn’t afford to stay off!) It was more inconvenient when our boss broke his leg skiing the year after I came back. At least babies come on a pretty predictable schedule!

Bonkers attitudes on this thread! Shows why you should never disclose. Women are protected by law for good reason and your common sense told you the right thing to do.

Ah, so YOU don't care if it creates problems. Got it.

If you have a loved one who is mentally or physically ill or ND, or in local authority care and had 4 care co-ordinators in a year or so because of people going on MAT leave you may think differently.

Literally every homicide or suicide inquiry or inquiry or inquiry into inappropriate care by social services or the NHS will state that changes of workers are a huge risk factor

It IS a big deal then.

And you may say 'well this doesn't apply to OP'. But it does because we're talking about legislation. And attitudes here with posters saying 'you hate women if you think it's not okay'. 'it's not a problem'.

So this isn't just about OP. It's bigger than that.

So again, the solution is for women to not get pregnant?

or pregnant women should just resign and not have any income?

not sure what you want women to do here?

The amount of posters telling you that you should have told them at the interview shows that you did the right thing by not disclosing earlier.

Nope.

Just don't con employers into giving them a job that they know they won't be able to do for months.

Because that's what the OP has done.

She knew that she wouldn't be able to do her previous job after having a baby and legally, she could be terminated for not being able to fulfil her contract.

So applied for another job where she was supposed to be back-fill for MAT leave while knowing she was also pregnant and couldn't fulfil the role.

And she now knows she legally has the organisation over a barrel.

But now we're supposed to pretend she's a victim?

Nah.

She played it well, and she admitted she did but i'm not going to pretend she's being treated badly just because people seem a bit pissed off with her.

She 's worked in a job for 13 months, had 2 months off sick and as much AL as is allowed and in a few weeks about to go off on MAT leave for 9-12 months because as she said, she wouldn't be able to claim UC for a while because she has savings over 16k.

She's working the system perfectly.

It doesn't make her a victim or an example of how we should employ pregnant people as by the time she's come back from MAT leave she'll have been paid for likely double the time than she's actually worked.

Why am I supposed to think that's a good thing?

So you wanted the Op to be unemployed as a result of having a baby?

That’s pretty black and white. I’m speaking from the perspective of a wonderful business owner with excellent mentoring and support for all. Surprisingly, they prefer all knowledge at interview. Then perhaps they can offer job shares / short term contracts whilst the pregnant person is away / offering the job to several people. It’s called being open and mutually respectful.

It's a huge company, it doesn't actually make that much difference which dept you are in when you go on mat leave. Yes to the dept management but not the overall company.

I would work really hard for the remainder of your pregnancy and hopefully they will think that you were a good hire, they just need to wait a little longer for you. Your career is much more than the next year or so.

Good luck!

Wrong

If they deliberately bully her because she us pregnant then that is illegal.

OP we all know they wouldn't have given you the job if you'd have told them and that is discriminatory

Nah you’re fine. I wouldn’t have told either. I once had to get a bit arsey with an internal recruiter who invited me for interview for an internal role saying I met all the criteria, and then was silly enough to retract it over email citing my pregnancy as the reason (I guess she found out internally somehow). I emailed back asking her to confirm that the job was not open to pregnant women and got a slightly grovelling email from her manager apologising for the “miscommunication”. I got the job, and subsequent promotions in that role, and have been doing it for 5 yrs now.
In your case OP, I get that they didn’t want someone who was going to go on maternity leave, but tough. You only have to tell by 25 weeks anyway, so any manager, at any time, could be given just a few months notice of a maternity leave.

Nope.

But equally don't think any organisation should be paying MAT leave for someone that hasn't had a significant work history and then the employee thinking they're being victimized.

OP worked for 13 months and had 2 months sick and a month A/L and now just about to go on MAT leave for months in 10 weeks as OP says she thinks she'll work till then. Though she likely will not.

Lets say she comes back early, at 9 months post-partum but part-time as OP intends.

So in 2 years of paid employment she works for less than a year as AL accrues on MAT leave.

She's been employed for 2 years and paid for more than a year she didn't work.

If you don't see why that would be a problem for any employer, and think that's pregnancy discrimination, I don't know what to say to convince you how that is a huge problem.

How on EARTH did someone who was 8 MONTHS pregnant manage to hide her 'bump?'

Legally you are fine
Morally you are fine
Personally you gave them a good reason to be pissed off, but heck if you are a manager part of the skill is working well and nicely with people who piss you off without showing it, because that's your job.

What are you suggesting I should’ve done? Doesn’t everyone make choices based on their own personal circumstances and what’s best for them? I’m genuinely curious as to what you think I should have done here because you sound like you’d have also disapproved if I’d have left work and gone on UC.

Shall I leave the workforce completely and go and live on a commune with my baby and spend my days milking cows and making sourdough?

This site and the vote outcomes are fascinating for judging who uses this site / bots / job types / working / non-working etc.

THIS IS WHY THE EQUALITY ACT EXISTS!!! You have done NOTHING wrong and anyone who suggests you should have disclosed or complains your pregnancy 'inconvenienced' an employer, is the reason we need these laws.

I wouldn't have told them until I legally had to in order to be paid maternity / any other requirement.

You have every right to not be set back in your career, financial circumstances, pension impacted, bonuses, sick pay etc - it's all impacted by your salary. Mental health from doing a role involving more front-line contact and so on.

Humans have to reproduce or we die out. But we're put off because 'it will inconvenience employers'. If that's the case then the system needs to change, not us.

You carry on as you are and don't feel one second of guilt.

Only one solution for it - women go back to the home- no work for you if you are of child bearing age.
Shall I leave the workforce completely and go and live on a commune with my baby and spend my days milking cows and making sourdough?

These extrapolations do not help the debate!

Clearly neither is being advocated by anyone on this thread.

It is a dilemma there is no doubt about that, and the OP has to make her own decisions about right and wrong, but it is clear she is not entirely happy about this or would not have posted her original question.

Acting within the law dioes noit always mean doing something that feels morally comfortable.

Maternity leave is a hard won right, but exploiting it in this way does not add to the sum of women's security in employment as it puts employers off employing women of child-bearing age, especially small employers.

The OP has achieved what is in her best interests, but at the price of her conscience, and potentially has contributed to the unattractiveness of women to employers.

Personally I could not have made a statement at interview that I knew to be on the edge of honesty (to put it kindly) and in a big organisation it may have been that honesty would have paid off in some way - they would mark her card as being a person of integrity and keep her in mind for promotions etc. As it is she will sadly be starting off with an uncomfortable sense of having pulled the wool over people's eyes and of people feeling wary of her.

What’s the point of your AIBU? You clearly don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.

Morally you are fine

Legally, and morally, she did the right thing by not telling them

The OP did exactly the right thing legally morally whatever perspective you care to take

Quite a few comments along these lines. I don't think people saying such things understand what morals are.

One important factor here is that the OP is already working for the company and that job and the associated maternity rights would still have stood. She would not have been unemployed or not covered for maternity leave.
There is no way of knowing whether she would or would not have been offered the promotion if she had disclosed at interview. We all suspect not, but cannot know for sure.
If she had declared at interview and not been offered it, for whatever reason, the company would have noted her honesty and integrity, as I said upthread and this can only be to her benefit. As it is her card is marked in a negative way.

You didn't answer my questions. I assume your reply to me is not intended to be an example of respectful communication.

What you describe, at interview stage, is called unlawful. A wonderful business owner would be cognisant of that.

https://www.acas.org.uk/recruitment/follow-discrimination-law

"If she had declared at interview and not been offered it, for whatever reason, the company would have noted her honesty and integrity"

Give over. No, they wouldn't. A business that didn't appoint because she was pregnant would have gone, "phew, what a lucky escape" and carried on discriminating.

Hey, you are aware you are talking to a real person?

Why do you feel the need to be nasty to someone who asked for support with a difficult situation?

OP made it clear that in her original role, she would not have been able to do that after MAT leave as it involved hours she felt she would not be able to fulfil after having a baby.

And the employer could have ended her contract because of that. Legally.

MAT rights didn't apply after OP returned to work and said the job no longer worked for her. Legally.

If a business can't manage due maternity leave or any other leave, it's an unviable business.

If employees, have to do extra work as a result of any other employees' absense, that's the fact of the business, not the employee.

The nastiest and attitudes on this thread only confirm the OPs decision was the right one.

On a site which is so scathing of those who don't work, claim benefits, don't maximise their income for theor families, the hypocrisy is unbelievable.