To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

To be fair she wouldn’t have had to disclose it, it would have been abundantly obviously to anyone looking at her that she was pregnant!

Well I’m getting the 6 months of enhanced pay whether you like it or not so go and cry about it. HR cheerily told me how great their maternity policy is when I had my initial maternity meeting, and they also cheerfully told me about how they want to be a welcoming workplace for women and about how I can discuss flexible working after maternity leave. As it stands, my previous role couldn’t have accommodated flexible working but many other departments in this business can - I don’t intend to request flexible working, but I could if I wanted to. Not everyone in corporate is an arsehole.

Also you’re making stuff up, I never said I’m going part-time. You’re talking complete and utter bollocks.

Quite. And now there is a poster saying they don’t think I deserve enhanced mat pay at all. Despite my employer offering it and encouraging me to take it! Complete fucking madness.

I tend to enjoy every single penny of that enhanced mat pay which will land in my bank account each month. I may even use it to travel for a month with my baby whilst I have the time off work. That’ll really piss these posters off

You know that the government pays for maternity not the employer (barring a very little amount at the start). It is for a company to decide if it wants to pay enhanced maternity but it isn’t obligatory

I think this is the best approach @Kinekia as long as you're not compromising your/your baby's health. Just get on with the job and demonstrate that you do really want it.

Longterm, this will all blow over.

Yeah we get it.

You pretended to be feeling bad but we all know you planned it.

Enjoy getting paid for work that you've never actually done and you fucked people over in the process.

Yay!

Never denied that I planned it. Why else would I go for the interview if I didn’t intend to get the role?

Green eyed monster comes to mind.

This is hilarious. She wouldn’t have got that job if she had been honest and she probably wouldn’t have ever seen anyone in that team ever again and so there is no way that her honestly and integrity would have been rewarded as no one would know about it!

lol, you started the post because no one is talking to you or making any effort to train you, why would anyone have the green eyed monster over this 🤣

She doesn’t like that I’ll be getting money for not working, as she’s stated repeatedly. She’s weirdly obsessed with the concept

That’s a very short term gain, versus working long term in an environment where no one likes you.

Green eyed monster because you're getting paid for work you haven't done and had no intention of doing?

Yeah. Most people are jealous of people getting paid for work they don't do.

I'm totally jealous but also didn't fall for your BS.

The issues is the bleeding hearts on MN thinking you've been victimised or it's a feminist issue when you've been a piss-taker from the start.

I actually respect you admitting it.

I’ve got every intention of doing the work after I’ve popped out my kid and spent a year at home with them, as I said from my very first post. Go and punch a wall or
something, you seem a bit riled up.

I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. After seeing encouraging posts in this thread from others who’ve been in similar situations on both sides as the employee and employer, I’ve got every confidence it’ll all blow over and I can have a great career there. But cheers for your “concern”.

But everyone who goes on maternity leave gets paid for work they don’t do. Same with men who take paternity leave or shared parental leave. When I was on maternity leave I even got a bonus and I hadn’t been there because I couldn’t be discriminated against. My brother took an entire 6 months of parental leave off and was fully paid by his office.

I think she does feel a bit guilty especially if managers and colleagues aren’t as friendly as they could be. But as pp said she had chances to bring this up beforehand, she didn’t, and though legally she’s fine to do what she did you can’t blame them if they’re a bit pissed off for this reason. OP keeps on going on about this though. Like she’s trying to justify her actions.

Not really hun.

Now you've admitted it and not continued to position yourself as a victim of the patriarchy but a woman who can work for less than a year and get paid for over 2 years because of legislation then yeah, knock yourself out.

It will piss people off and have an adverse effect on your organisation but you don't care and I never said you should care. I just said how it negatively effects employers and other employees.

I didn't say you should care and you don't.

But it does have impact on employers and other employees which was always my point.

She didn’t hide her pregnancy, but was not obliged to mention it; and quite right too.

To be fair I’d prob save some for the other six months , you clearly need ro work financially and are not a high earner,

Goodness me, I was being tongue in cheek.

I think you were being goady to be honest, but six months enhanced mat, in a low income job, when off for a year and you need to work isn’t really something to crow about.

You’ve come to the conclusion it’s a low income job. I can assure you it’s a bloody decent salary (significantly above my previous £34,000) which will unlock a much better quality of life for us, hence why I did what I had to do to secure the role when the opportunity came up. HTH.

@Kinekia legally you did nothing wrong.

They can't discriminate against a candidate for being pregnant, but it is highly likely you wouldn't have got the job had you told them you were pregnant, and they would have given you another excuse to say why you didn't get it.

Morally what you did was awful, and it is therefore not surprising the new team aren't happy with you. You have massively let them down and they will resent you. You surely knew that would happen?

I mean you could always take the minimum two weeks maternity and let your partner do the rest of the parental leave????

If you'd disclosed the pregnancy and they liked you, then chances are they could have arranged things so that you going on maternity wouldn't impact the team.

So in order to not ‘f-over’ the NHS, your colleague should have quit her job after the first child? Or limited herself to one child? Are you saying that women having children should not be employed? Or not have maternity leave…in order to not piss off their colleagues?

how about people just get on with their jobs, knowing that half the population may have children, which is a literal evolutionary necessity, and just try be happy about that.

The misogyny on this thread is mind blowing.

There’s been some fabulous advice on this thread about how to handle things and very fair comments from many posters but among that there’s been some utter batshittery. Including someone being quite nasty to me about the choice I made to go for the promotion and not disclose the pregnancy, only to then in one of their subsequent comments a few minutes later attempt to shame me and put me down for being a “low-earner” (on this very page of the thread) So I guess sometimes you just can’t win - be a low earner and have people put you down for being a low earner or fight tooth and nail to get into a role which puts you in the middle-earners bracket whilst pregnant, securing financial stability for your baby in the process only to still be seen a shit person who deserves to be shamed. Horrid, horrid attitude.

Absolutely unreal. I feel like I’ve been talking to Margaret Thatcher at times.