To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

Well OP could have got pregnant within a few days of accepting/interviewing so what difference does a few months make over the course of a career?

I would document any hostile behaviour and speak with HR or your trade union rep if it gets worse.

Great to see women supporting pregnancy discrimination on mumsnet 🙄

Great to see women supporting pregnancy discrimination on mumsnet

Exactly. Jeez, I remember the days when they could actually ask you in interviews if you were pregnant or planning to have children. They didn't like to employ young married women.

I thought times had changed but here we go, posters berating OP for not putting herself at risk of discrimination.

I disagree, they did need to know .
They were probably expecting op to cover for the pregnant colleague , now they have to find twice the cover.
I have had 3 pregnancies at one workplace and have worked with numerous pregnant colleagues and it is an inconvenience to an employer- there's no way round it ,so the earlier an employer knows the easier it is to plan for the rest of the team.
I would be pretty pissed off if my employee lied when asked that question.

Absolutely this. Rightly or wrongly they would not have hired you had they known you were pregnant, especially as someone else was also pregnant.

you did the right thing

I think the real kicker is that I’m due 2 weeks before the other pregnant colleague. It’s understandably going to be hard for them to get over that

So do you think they would have offered her the job if she had told them?

I wouldn't necessarily take that as a fishing question, it could just be a way to wrap up and ensure you've had the chance to say everything you wanted to say. E.g. if you were sitting there kicking yourself that you'd forgotten to incorporate your finest success into any of your answers. Or that you need reasonable adjustments for a disability you wanted to discuss.

I sometimes end conversations with staff with a similar type of question. I'm definitely not fishing or implying that they're holding back, it's just a way of making sure I have given them the chance to raise everything they wanted and they have what they need. Most people say no, occasionally someone will say "oh actually...".

This is all very fresh if it's only happened this week. Hopefully they will catch on to themselves a bit once they've gotten over their initial disappointment or frustration.

Very likely not , but it doesn't sound like she is going to have an easy ride with these people going forward .

So you think she should have disclosed her pregnancy so that they could discriminate against her?

Just trying to follow your logic here.

If they would not discriminate against her and still offer her the job, then they still have to put all the maternity leave cover in place anyway so it makes no difference at all.

If they would discriminate against her, then she is right to not disclose it isn't she?

You did the right thing.

They are not allowed to discriminate based on pregnancy. And so you managed to stop them discriminating.

I was in an interview when a woman disclosed being pregant, it made it hard to be impartial (not my decision to make but I know it adds a layer of concern, what are we going to do during maternity leave?) .

Your boss and team will come around, or they won't; but you did nothing wrong.

How they’re treating you is discrimination, and you’re protected by the Equality Act. If you email Pregnant and Protected you can get an hour of free legal consultation. In the meantime, document everything and then approach hr- you need to make a formal complaint

You did what was right for you. I think you need to accept they are going to be off with you esp if they are busy and needing staff. I would keep my head down and try and do my best work until maternity leave. Then focus on building up the relationship when you return. Within 6 months of showing your good at what you do a lot will be forgiven

Oh yes, when I was younger I was once asked at interview, ever so casually, what my boyfriend thought about something or other. Followed up by "oh so you don't have a partner then?" when I pretended not to get what they were doing and sweetly said I didn't have a boyfriend.

That one was 100% a fishing question weighing up the likelihood of me taking maternity leave in the near future.

In the end this will be a memory. I worked for a big corporate and we hired a marketing manager who started 20 weeks pregnant. She joined and a few months later was off for 8 months and then came back and ended up working in that role for years. That was about 18 years ago now and it has long been forgotten in the years that have followed. You were the best person for the job and they will manage.

Agree 💯

But then my organisation don’t discriminate against pregnant women. We’ve promoted several recently, including women on maternity leave.

You were the best person for the job. Being pregnant shouldn’t change that. They need to sort their attitude out because this sort of cold shoulder crap is the road to tribunal.

It's only just happened this week. I wouldn't leap to making a complaint to HR unless you want to torpedo your relationship with them permanently. That does not seem necessary or constructive at this stage.

This.

If they're discriminating against you by being unfriendly then they are breaking the law.

Potentially, you could even sue them.

They need to learn that you have rights that women have fought hard for.

Well OP could have got pregnant within a few days of accepting/interviewing so what difference does a few months make over the course of a career?

It doesn't make a difference over the course of a career but it does make a difference in the short term when they are looking for the OP to do maternity cover. They now still need to find replacement cover for the original member of staff AND for the OP herself, and now have nearly two months less to sort it. I can understand why they're annoyed.

That said, I don't think the OP was wrong not to say something at interview. But it's not great that it was a month later before she let them know. It has created some really difficult timings.

If they needed cover for that person they should have labelled it as matrnity cover. They didn't, so Op has applied and been well within her rights not to disclose - applying for maternity cover would have been odd but that's not the case! Sounds like they need to find two maternity covers - it happens and good on OP. for getting the role. @Kinekiai would keep a note of what's happening - if they're excluding you based on the fact you're pregnant that's discrimination, perhaps you could have told them earlier but other than that you've done nothing wrong

You behaved rationally.

All those on the thread moralising about how you ‘inconvenienced’ your new team don’t live in the real world.

I know someone due on November 6th who is keeping it a secret from their employer until August 1st so as to not miss out on promotion. Strategic annual leave and plenty of WFH over the summer. Who’s going to challenge a pregnant as to when she realized she was pregnant?

You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

You haven't done anything wrong. You almost certainly wouldn't have got the job otherwise, and that's exactly why the law is the way it is. The only thing I'd have done differently is disclose immediately after acceptance.

People should not be being off with you, and they need to tread carefully or they will border on discrimination.

They will get over it in time, OP.

YANBU

and if they keep on with their churlish carry on they could find themselves on the end of a harassment suit

I am aware of our rights .
I think they probably wouldn't have given her the job but how to prove their reason for not doing so ?
Doesn't change my opinion , i know i would not have applied for a new job when pregnant , it's not right but it's likely that employer / management would hold a grudge and i wouldn't want to work in an environment where i wasn't trusted.
Some women wouldn't care about that , good for them , i'm glad they don't but it wouldn't be ok for me.

The OP doesn't need to worry about that.

Some of them probably won't be there when she returns from maternity leave.

Exactly - if what they wanted was maternity cover it should have been labelled as maternity cover. This would make me sigh heavily and probably reach for the wine when I got home from work that day, but after that I would suck it up and carry on as normal, because there is nothing else to be done if I don't want to also be discriminated against in the workplace.