To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

I come back with a positive update about my situation and talk about how my manager is now being understanding and wants to offer support. And someone decides I need knocking down a peg and put in my
place. Fucking vile. I don’t mind criticism for what I’ve done but some have been downright fucking nasty and would love to see me sacked and thrown out onto the kerb. I will be leaving the thread now. Thank you to everyone who’s left supportive comments.

I was pleased to read your positive result! Most workplaces are just a collection of normal human beings who are capable of understanding different situations and resolving issues. Your new manager has done just that. Good luck in the new role and with the baby.

Yes I agree this thread hasn’t been very nice or helpful to you OP. There’s a lot of posters on here who are just nasty for the sake of it.

At the end of the day you’ve got to put you and your family first. You’re not going to be hated by your colleagues forever, they’ll get over it. Managers at very large employers are used to unforeseen circumstances happening all the time. Like I said in a previous post, any employee can end up off work for any reason at any time, not just mat leave.

You don't need to disclose and the rules are there for a reason. If they ask why say because it was irrelevant to the interview and the rules are there to protect pregnant women. If you were the best candidate then why should your pregnancy matter?

This thread is disgraceful.

Legally the OP is under no obligation to tell anyone.

As per the law.

Absolutely disgraceful that she is being subjected to such abuse.

Reported

This is not the gaming the office by careful omission of facts that will affect future coworkers support board. The OP asked on AIBU if she was being unreasonable in her deceit. 62% of the poll still think she was being unreasonable.

62% is hardly a sweeping condemnation, is it? Like the posts, it sounds much more like a divided response.

I stand by the view that it's not fair to judge someone for not answering a question they weren't allowed to be asked in the first place, and for good reason. If OP disclosing being pregnant would have stopped her getting a job she otherwise would have been offered, then it's good she didn't tell them as their decision not to hire her would have been illegal.

Plenty of people thought I was being unreasonable and expressed this in a mature and respectful manner.

A small minority of nasty pieces of work, such as yourself, spoke proudly about how I’m going to get bullied, intimated and discriminated out of the job.

62% of people don't understand the law, and hopefully aren't in management or they will get their company sued to the back teeth one day.

No, where did I say that? Have I missed something?

It has nothing to do with whether people understand the law or not.

Something can be legal or illegal, doesn’t mean that it’s that black and white.

Should it be illegal to refuse to employ someone because they’re pregnant? No. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a shitty thing to do to apply for a job at 25 weeks pregnant when you have no intentions of actually doing that job because you’re about to bugger off and have a baby.

Something being the law doesn’t necessarily mean people have to agree with it. They don’t have to break said law, but they don’t have to agree that it’s ok in certain circumstances either.

Honestly no one will care after she rejoins. Chances of someone remembering what happened is small and chances are some people on the team will have moved on anyway. No one devotes that much energy into things like this. They will sort out the team currently and sort out her rejoining. Sounds like they all get on and I’m sure the Op will end up being a valued member of the team. I honestly can barely remember things that happened last month let alone things that happened 6 month’s prior.

No but quoting things about people you know as if it sets a precedent in this situation has no relevance. They unofficially wanted maternity cover as it turns out so even if they had loved her they most likely would have turned her down .

Women should not be disadvantaged because they happen to be the sex that carries a baby. If you wouldn't worry about employing a man who has a 25 weeks pregnant partner, then it is morally unfair to worry about employing the woman who is 25 weeks pregnant. Shared parental leave exists, and so you cannot assume it's the woman who will be taking the whole time off. To assume it is, is to be sexist, discriminatory and against the law. This OP has stated she is considering shared parental leave, so she is considering her employer, her own future, and is bringing a brand new little future tax payer into the country who will likely be helping to pay my pension. Thank you OP!

You would have said it was a sweeping majority if that 62% had been in favour of the OP. 62% of nearly 2000 people is quite a large % of people who think the OP is being unreasonable.

And the posts haven't really been 'divided,' more people think the OP is being unreasonable.

And yes I KNOW what the OP has done is legal. I don't think it should be though. That's my opinion (and the opinion of many others.) And we're not 'wrong' to think it. An opinion cannot be wrong. Quite a number of things are legal, but not necessarily right.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and promotion. Well done for having your eye on the future you want to build for yourself and your family.

The only thing I would add is maybe email the manager you spoke to thanking them for their support and expressing how appreciative you are of the company's positive policies for women and pregnancy. This is basically a way for you to get off the slight back foot of apology and subtly assert your expectations.

You’ve done nothing wrong. I can’t believe a predominantly female forum has so little support for a woman just exercising her hard won legal right to not disclose a pregnancy at a job interview. Best of luck with the new role and the baby.

You put words in my mouth but okay. I’m out, I don’t care about it enough to continue. Have a nice evening.

It was in internal role. HR will have handled OPs sickness absence. Before transferring a current employee to a new role an employer would normally check with HR and check there are no issues on file, maybe speak to current manager to see what kind of worker she is. If they didn’t do that, that’s on them. Due diligence.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your promotion, OP. I’m genuinely pleased that it’s worked out so well for you, and that they’re being more supportive now.

I hope this thread hasn’t been too hard for you to read. Some absolutely vile posters on here, especially as legally* *(and morally, as far as I’m concerned) you’ve done nothing wrong.

Good luck!

And yet, along with the majority on the poll and many on this thread, her coworkers do think it was wrong.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

"Most people will not just leave a new job after 2 months"

They do not. But some do.

Don’t take a new job while pregnant! Too risky!
basically you’ll be showing very soon, and before your probation has ended..